Kman productions

It's that time again

2010-12-09T22:43:00.002+11:00

Growing up, most decisions were made for you. Aspects like, what to wear, what to eat, when to sleep were simple and mostly considered trivia. As you slowly began to mature and experience life you got the opportunity to make your version of simple choices too. University is over with, you've landed your first job and now reality kicks in. Mum and dad are no longer making the daily choices for you. They hopefully stand by your side as you forge your own future, occasionally giving their unsolicited two cents; that's parents for us. A time has come to me to finally take a stand in what I believe in, scary but has to happen if I am to move to the next step.

Matters of the heart can be the most grueling to deal with, when heart break is involved. However, very necessary or life to make sense and have meaning. Do you remember your first break-up? Your first love? First kiss? Marriage (hopefully only marriage)? You live your life as best as you can and push the boundaries far beyond that which is expected of you. You fight to keep high principles, despite the huge cost to you as a person. Sometimes it's easier to be a douche, but you've opted to be the best damn man/woman you can be.

I believe perception is very fickle, and many have opted not to live so as not to tarnish that image branded on them by others. We try our very best not to antagonize those around use where possible. However, at what point do you opt to do what is selfish for you? When is the line crossed where all you think of is your happiness and the price you need to pay to achieve it? These are questions I am facing at this stage of my life, approaching 30, career change, relationship changes, physical changes, emotional growth. Can't life simply cut me some slack, allow me to breathe easy for a year or two? Would that be too much to ask.................

Then again, it would seize to be life

Kman Productions (2010)

Lessons I should’ve learnt before leaving Kenya

2009-12-13T13:04:00.002+11:00

•You pump your own fuel @ the pump, then walk to the counter to pay

•Everybody is smiling @ you, but they don’t know you, nor do they care

•“How are you?” isn’t a queue to highlight your day or how you really feel. It’s merely a courtesy where expected response is, “Not too bad.”

•“Yes or No Sir/Ma’am”, aren’t necessary taken as signs of respect but could be skewed to indicate the other party is your grandma’s age

•Expect to see a teenagers speak back @ their parents, and watch their parents continue the conversation.Despite the urge to jump in and teach the kid a lesson on, “hand meet face”, stay away and keep walking

•You can & will live in an apartment for 5 years and not know your neighbour’s name. Your neighbour’s aren’t necessary your friends, you can’t walk in and ask for an onion, sugar, or salt.

•Unlike back home when you could be in the neighbourhood and drop by, call in advance and find out if they are doing anything. They could be your best friends, there are no kids to send for sodas from the kiosk

•Obese & Fat people aren’t the rich out there; in fact they are the lower class in the society. Take pride in your slim and toned look, you’re considered very healthy and above average

•Steers & Wimpy may have been a treat in Kenya, but stay the hell out of McDs, Hungry Jacks, KFC etc etc. Stick to cooking your sukuma wiki and ugali. Apparently this is the diet of the rich & famous

•For most people, a big car = Big Debt+ working 2-3 jobs to pay it off. Be happy to catch a bus and be debt free. Trains are a great means of transport

•Your neighbour could be having a party while you are @ home eating 0.50ct noodles, you can’t just walk in.

•Tribal heritage is left on the runway in Nairobi, amazing how all Africans become your brothers and sisters. No one will ask you, “What tribe are you?” “What your parents do?” you’re all considered as Africans and foreigners, get used to Odhiambo, Mutiso, Kamau, Akinyi, Muturi, Chebet as your hang out buddies

•A black covered book isn’t necessary a Bible, just because it’s a Sunday; could be a copy of Harry Potter

•Being a watchie is one of the highest paying unskilled jobs you can find. Say a big thank you to Kipkoech as you make it for the airport. Even better, ask him for some tips because in a few months you will be “kipkoech” in a supermarket, construction site etc.

•Office jobs are over-rated, just because you are wearing a tie doesn’t mean a big paycheck, chances are you make $15/hr; Manual labourers make $20+/hr. In simple terms kazi ya mjengo kuna pesa nyingi sana

•Old people are put up in a nursing home and their kids live on as if nothing has happened.

•Your body can, and will survive on 2 hours sleep, you need to pull double shifts and sometimes triple shifts to make ends meet. Daddy’s money or lack off means nothing out here

•Bid farewell to ugali, sukuma wiki, uji, githeri, mutura, goat slaughtering rituals, maembe pilipili.

•Avocadoes, mangoes are luxuries that are consumed once a year, or in your friend’s house. Bloody fruit costs $2-$4 each; you simply can’t go your backyard, climb and shake trees to acquire these.

•It’s cheaper to fly than to drive, not sure how that works.

•Apparently Nigeria is close to Kenya, Nairobi is in South Africa, and Southern Rhodesia is a country in southern Africa.

•No one is impressed by the Word, Excel certificates you got @ the computer bureau that is converted into a college. There are kids in kindergarten have these skills

•Speaking English doesn’t qualify you to write English, don’t be surprised when you meet people who can’t read but speak fluently. Be proud of those hours of composition writing Mrs Kiama put you through

•If you keep converting to Kenyan currency, you’ll never purchase anything. Milk costs $2.00 a litre i.e. 120Ksh, you might end up drinking black tea for a while to come

•Drinking black tea doesn’t mean you are broke, it’s an acquired taste that shouldn’t be use to judge one’s financial balance

•Light, Low fat, reduced fat, 1% fat are all used to describe different kinds of milk. It’s not as simple as milking the cows, pasteurizing and drinking it.

•Bran, wheat germ, oats are not to feed cattle, this is your breakfast not sausages, eggs, and bacon as you may have grown up.

•There are conditions that people suffer from that are ridiculous, peanut allergies, oxygen allergies, h2O allergies (would’ve come in handy in Njiiri High School)

•As amazing as this may be, children don’t eat chewing gum they find on the ground, something about germs, disease or some rubbish

My Race

2009-09-18T23:15:00.002+10:00

At what point did the colour of your skin determine who you were? I’d love to believe that we are in a age where colour or creed shouldn’t stipulate what you are subjected to. However, it is naïve of me to hold strong to such a notion or even desire. I try to avoid any race related conversations that may highlight my increasing discomfort when one group is elevated to be superior to another. At this point and time, after watching another of those movies that highlighted the plight of African Americans in the USA back in the 1950s, The Express I may need to refresh the glass.

In Kenya, I grew up in a small town where your status was irrespective of tribe, colour, family wealth, parents’ occupation, or even how cute your sister was. The only differentiator when I was growing up was how good you were on a soccer pitch, how well you could dance with the ball determined your charm with the ladies i.e. I was aged 9-14. Fast forward to now, am 28 years and all that seems to have changed. My colour in some instances has required that I work twice as hard as my counterpart, just to prove myself as equally capable if not a little better than my peers.

As a black man, in a western world there seems to be the added push to be the best at everything I put my thoughts to. Is this just in my head, or am I actually expected to be better? Obama in now president and some of my people seem to believe that this is a better world for the black man. I am not quite sure, because this in my opinion, takes us to the same page as 100 years ago. Why is it that every time I make a decision that is wrong, I am excused because of the fact it could be a cultural influence? When an Asian colleague of mine blunders, his culture is brought into place and all is excused. However when an Aussie counterpart opts for the same decision, wrath is brought upon him like hell just lost the bet against the Man upstairs. At what point do we have a level playing field, and your results decide who is the better man or woman.

At what point did my race, colour or creed determine how I am to be treated in society? Work hard, do right in your circle of influence, push for excellence from yourself, and for goodness sake leave the rest of that rubbish out for those who have the time to discuss why your colour dictates your effectiveness.

Kman Productions……………………………

Strength Within

2007-07-24T22:28:00.000+10:00

Our lives are spent trying to be the best we can be only to realise that there are situations that bring us to the very core of desperation. No matter how many books or literature we immerse ourselves in, there is that challenge you face that warrants us to give up. There is always a situation that seems hopeless and the best cause of action is doing nothing, sometimes just trying to fix it hurts even more. Pain can never be simplified by others as just a phase that will pass, pain is real and the hurt sits right in our marrow. A lesson I have come to appreciate is when we hurt, we should not try to mask or avoid it. It is painful to go through a traumatising situation, let one be little our hurt. Until recently I was of the crede, take it like a man and waltz on but life teaches us lessons. We can take heed or relieve the same lesson again and again until hopefully one day we learn (if we are lucky).

Supporting our loved ones as they struggle is one of the core aspects of being there for them; not necessarily saying anything but being there. If I can be there for you as you go through all the hell there is, you just might make it through. I think we should let our mates mourn, give them all the time they need to handle that which pains them. I think a true friend will be there even when you think you can't do it, when you've given up. I pray that I can be that kind of friend, be there for you even when you don't believe in yourself or when you've given up. I hope that you can be safe in all you do, but all in all that I can be there when it's not all merry and party. I'd love to celebrate with youu but I think the test comes in when my faith is what holds both of us, my faith and hope sees you through this stage of pain. Count yourself a friend if you can persevere for someone other than yourself, truth I've learnt in the last 5 months.

The strength within can only be experienced by hurt and pain that comes from within; I've learnt that first hand and wish it not on anyone. Be a friend to your friend and lend a shoulder when they need one, say nothing and just be there. I hope I can be a true friend in time of need, forgive me if I fail the first time. I too are learning , you are stronger than you think. You may not know it, not feel like it (you will not feel like it for a long time), but I know & have always known that you're stronger than most people. There is that edge in you, very few people have that I saw in you, that will take you through this and help heal physical,spiritual and mental

Kman Productions....................

New Beginnings

2007-07-21T20:16:00.000+10:00

A life time is spent trying to figure out what you want only to realise that you had before. It's amazing how we go through life and end up in the same place we started. I think life has a way of teaching us lessons that help us appreciate that which we had. Take a tour to my earlier days, say when I was 12-18yrs of age. I seem to be taking my life back to that era, 26 years of age and the feelings I had then are now easily explained. It took a long time but I think I've learnt the lesson; say what is on your heart before it's too late. How does a teenager know that what they feel is real?

Live life and after a few years you realise if the feelings you had then we real or just a burst of hormones. I've recently read a fictional book titled "The Alchemist" and my life seems to e taking a turn in the right direction. I've been superstitious but after living life through choice and destiny, there is some truth found in the basics of life. It's very true that your dreams don't have to be sacrificed for someone. Life has a way of bringing those that mean the world to you back into your life. I love the way my life has taken a few turns and it's taken a long heart ache to realise that I ha it all. Long before I was heartbroken I had it, there was a crew of friends looking out for me and I'd missed it.

This time round I need to find out for sure what this means and whether this was ever going to b sanctioned by nature or not. Can something come out of a trip am making soon or have I had a friend to the very end?

Kman Productions.....................

Egg Shell

2007-07-08T13:35:00.000+10:00

Friends in most instances are well meaning in what they do, doesn't mean they are right. It's amazing how being single now has me aligned to a certain crowd and all meetings are orchestrated to avoid the two of us being in one place together. For a while it was hard and I pulled away from my friends just to avoid being in that awkward environment, the Ex and myself in the same place. It was for the better one would hope, 2 months I stayed away from my friends just to avoid situations that some friends seem to think I can't handle. It's amazing how moving to a higher level you realize after mourning is done, you are stronger than your friends seem to think you are. Some advise to friends, I am past the point of caring what the other does and if anything pity the other party that seems to think am still in mourning. This was probably the one of the best lessons I learnt and it's sad that some friends don't see it. You try to move on and friends act in a manner that puts the monkey right on your back. I am past that relationship and sadly of all people don't seem to want me to get on with my life. Everything am doing is being pulled down by peoples attitude and decisions they seem to be making for me.

There are 4 people that have understood my development from hitting rock bottom to being halfway to the top of the world. Ladies and gentlemen, let me lay emphasis on these words "Choose who you wonna hang out with, am past wanting to have friends that pull me down". I've moved on and after tonight will not associate myself with that past relationship ever. If you want to keep reminding me of the loss, you too might as well join the wagon and kiss my ass. I don't need such people as I garner what it mine and take over. I have one piece of paper to sign and for those that want to stay in the past, this is where we part ways. Don't hang onto someone that doesn't seem to understand what is at stake and not teachable. I don't need to be treated like am an egg, I was 2 months ago that was in May. July is here and you poor bastards that don't stay in touch, May is long gone.

Kman Productions.......

Bar Note

2007-05-14T18:45:00.000+10:00

Sitting in a high rise building, a beer in one hand my notebook in the other; pathetic life I’ve been reduced to. There is nothing sobering like a grown man sitting in a room, tears rolling down his cheeks. He seems to have nothing worthwhile left to strive for, he’s given his best and t wasn’t enough. The only highlight is sitting through an episode of Spiderman 3. For those 2hrs+, life’s hustles are gone and yes I know none of it is real; fiction to the nth degree. Life hasn’t been so easy the last few months, everything I held dear to me seems to have slipped away from me. Even more sobering is rejection, breaks a man into little pieces when you realise the world doesn’t revolve around you. I sat through the flick and all I could think of was the girl I had the pleasure of knowing. I portrayed a persona resembling Buckingham palace, suave gentleman who thought the world bowed to his power; for a while it did.

You wake up one day and realise you’re not invincible as you thought, all that stuff is in fairy tales and romantic flicks. There is no knocking on the door and being welcome with open arms, it sobers you when you’re turned down. For a few days your little world loses the essence to move on, thank God for mothers. You mother is one woman who will care for you even when everyone else grows tired. When the world seems to walk over you, mothers are there nursing you as they heap encouragement to you. Loving is hard, especially when the door is shown to you and marching orders are issued. Anger, frustration, hatred, disappointment flood in and your little world caves in. It seems like everyone else is enjoying there lives while you lie in the gutter. Alcohol can only numb you for a few days, you know you ought to pick yourself from the pitiful state and venture out. Smile while every being of you has nothing to smile about.

A friend called me in the process of writing this and I just couldn’t continue with this. I could have sworn that a tear rolled down my cheek as I spoke to my friend, she doesn’t know it but that call meant more to me than all the advice I’d received. It meant something because that was what I needed then; leny_len

Kman Productions..............

Unstable

2007-05-01T00:13:00.000+10:00

A glass of scotch in one hand and a keyboard in the other, a potentially lethal combination. The last few weeks have taken their toll on me and there is no hiding the effect. Frustration has build to the point that I can't have civil conversations without being rude or portraying an act of desperation. Airing laundry on the blog is no the intention but simply venting my frustration as I see them. Moving on is hard, possible but hard. I've been told than only time will tell and waiting for a solutions sometimes beats beating myself trying to figure out what to do. Easier said than done, emotions rise and fall within the span of a second. One minute there is nothing but joy, the feeling of freedom, the tether has been removed and the next loss kicks in. Imagine you're celebrating and from nowhere instead of an award, you get a kick in the balls.

A lot has happens in the span of a few days, there are somethings I would jot down but frustration does pile and it's only a matter of time before there is a reaction either negative of positive. How do two people make friends where everything around them speaks and smell of despite? Can an individual breathe life in a situation that looks dead even to the most optimistic of characters. bear in mind the glass of scotch is almost empty and, by now the keys are hazy and blurry. There is almost a stench of death in the current situation but somehow I am holding on, what for I am yet to find out. Realistically all an individual can do is work on themselves, hope that fate is on your side and you reap a reward for the effort you've put it. The sacrifice you made, price you paid, but as we know life sucks and nice guys always seem to lose. Do I bite back before it is done to me or do I maintain being the nice guy and get humiliated?

You hold principles so dearly only to realise you can't ask another party to hold to these. If only I had lose principles, life at this moment would be so easy. Why did I have to be principled? A bad boy attitude would probably mask the hurt and maybe draw attention away from me. Maybe the nice guy in this case will win, doubts are more than hope at this point and time.
Kman Productions............

Tough Decision

2007-04-24T08:27:00.000+10:00

Today I make a decision that determines the outcome of many things, how long can one pretend to be holding it together before the card house collapses?

Kman Productions

Dear Friend

2007-04-22T19:52:00.000+10:00

Dear Friend,
The last few days have been tough and I appreciate the effort you have put to cheer me up. I realize that I haven't been the best of individuals to hang around or talk to but you have held your ground. The last few weeks for me have been amongst the hardest I've faced, it's amazing I've made it this far. Life seems to have thrown a monkey wrench into my affairs, it seems like I have a feud with the forces that be. I was counting my glory days trying to organize a reunion with those that matter and this happens. I am sure I have said and done things that have tested the bonds of our friendship. Please accept my apologies for being hard headed and stubborn, I guess now you have seen every aspect of me; the good and the bad.

Dear Friend, if you are still reading this then I guess we are still friends. My heart and soul seem to have lost any will to get over the predicament, yet you stand by me. I don't know when I will resume my life, healed and functional as a friend. Dear friend, please take this note as my thank you letter. I hurt, and continue to ponder on the future. Somehow I know I will emerge victorious but it hurts, please understand. Let me be selfish during this time, I know I will be moody and sometimes really annoying. Dear friend, you don't have to be there for me but you've chosen to be there. I am waiting to see who walks away and who stays, I hope you stay and watch me soldier on.

Everything has a price and I've paid mine, more than I'd like to but I have paid the price. Dear friend, I will need some comforting on Monday, a leaning shoulder on Tuesday, a listening ear on Wednesday, company on Thursday, your encouragement on Friday, Shopping buddy on Saturday and a reminder that I've made it on Sunday. On Monday we will commence the routine all over again. Dear friend please don't utter to me "things happen for a reason", these words are not comforting. These words are a sword that go though me like an heated knife in butter. Dear friend, I know we've been through a lot and there is more to come. Give me sometime and maybe I will resume the spark I once hard, snuffed out by this ordeal I face. Dear friend, we've been through a lot and I appreciate the effort you've made. Thank you dear friend, I love you

Kman Productions......................

Tough decision

2007-04-16T12:06:00.000+10:00

It's amazing how we tend to live ourselves by what we feel, if it feels good we do it and vice versa. On most weekends I don't feel like cooking or doing my chores, yes I still have chores to do before the end of the weekend. I have them but I rarely if ever do them, I simply don't feel like it. laundry is done when there is almost nothing left to do. Why? You may ask, I can't stand doing laundry and if there was the option of incinerating my clothes after use, i would sign up to that program. The point is simple, we can't always rely on what we feel to live every aspect of our lives. feelings are great but they are not everything that should dictate to us how to do things or what to do. Take I for instance, I am supposed to be learning about Learning Content Manipulation; I don't feel like it and hence I am blogging.

There are choices that we make that sometimes don't seem to be right, simply because they don't feel right; yet we know they are right. If your having a ailment, it sucks to go see a Dr. but you know it's the right to do. Relationships will be the topic for me for a while, simply because that is where I am at this point and time. Investing in one that doesn't seem to be going anywhere is a costly price, it doesn't feel like it at the time but after taking tally you know pain awaits you. There is what feels right and what is right, it may not necessarily feel right. I think some of the signs of maturity are when we begin to realize that we simply can't live on those feelings for long, emotions and feelings will change with time. They are fickle and are bound to change. I've gone to bed feeling excited only to wake up feeling nauseated, I've watched a movies and felt "touched", watched the same movie and felt nothing. Does that mean I am different? No, I can't rely on my feelings to live my life, they are good but I gotta move beyond that.

Tough decisions have to be made, they don't feel right but you know they will affect your future as you know it. have you opted to cut down on junk food only to wake up the next day craving a burger, chocolate or soft drink? Deep down you know it's not good for you but you want it, you feel like it? What do you do then, get subdued or keep to your goals of reducing on junk. I've made a decision that doesn't feel right as far as relationships go. I know it's the best resolution for me, yet I feel like I lost. Truth is, it's the best decision for me and even though it doesn't feel right, I know the outcome is what is best for me. It doesn't feel like it though, hence my point going beyond living by what you feel like doing. Tough decision, RIGHT DECISION!!

Kman Productions......................

Taking a Back Seat

2007-04-13T10:25:00.000+10:00

Take a chill pill and relax, wait a few weeks and 'suss' out the situation. These are words that don't go well with me and probably most guys, gets me in trouble and I keep digging myself into deeper trenches with time. The simple aspect of waiting and giving time to think about situations is a procedure I am not familiar with. How many of us are used to getting answers when we want them and how we want them? I am victim of this paradigm, and it is almost costing me more than I am capable of getting back. My mind would like to sit back and relax but there seems to be two beings in me, the logical one and the other that wants it now and not tomorrow or the day after.

How does one tame the lust, demanding nature of masculinity that haunts most if not all guys? I am talking the desire not to be seen as weak in times of crisis, how do you diligently take a back seat and give the other person the space they need? I've noticed that the more I try to be strong, the worse I find myself. I've been told to simply stop trying, that is like asking a guy not to fix things; impossible? No, but it takes sometime and lots of effort, humility and strategy. I am not sure how many of us are willing to admit that it is not easy, not that it's an excuse for being a pain in the rear for the other party. Is someone able to explain to the feminine gender that as much as we try, we always want to be seen as to be doing something productive, contributing to the cause even when we are supposed to do nothing but sit back and wait. I've failed in that area and I am sure I will continue to fail as time goes by, I guess my consolation is that I've admitted to being at fault, admitted I am trying and admitted I'll probably fall back into the same mess; trying when am supposed not to.

Put it this way, if she takes you back then you know it's not that you were perfect but because she chose to do it. It had nothing to do with what you did, God knows we've burned most bridges.

Kman Productions.........................

New Beginning

2007-04-01T08:14:00.000+10:00

walking along the pavement you realise that you've not achieved the goals you'd set the previous year, you are not about to achieve them either. There seems to be two thought trails offered by society, one being it's never too late, two forget the past and lower your goals to be more realistic. Whichever you chose you'll know that there is a mourning period where emotions flare from excitment and fear, depression sometimes may creep in. Looking back at the last 2 years there are things I'd like to erase but like history, you simply can't do it. The next best thing is to learn from the history and try and better yourself as time goes by. That is bette rsaid than done, attachement is one of the most dangerous things we could do, dependency on others is dangerous if not plain stupid, moronic is a more civil term.

You're young, that is a plus on your side and you can afford a few more failures before you exhaust your reserviour. The challenge that we face is in knowing when to get a new beginning, when to cut and run, forget the past however hard it may be, soldier on, when to try and hope live blinded by hope that something better can come out of it. Life simply sucks, that is a fact we all can attest to, somethings we can't control. Here's my take on things, you can never control or understand those around you but you can better yourself and control that which you can. Leave the rest to forces that be, worrying about things you cant change is futile. There are plenty of things I can change and I should focus on those. Hence the new beginning, I want a new beginning

Kman Productions........................

Never Say

2007-03-31T22:46:00.000+10:00

It's the end of the year and assesments are due, like most of us you're not really confident but yet you've worked hard. In the course of the session, you've had days when you slacked off and days when you gave 120%; that's life. Before the exams you are aware that you've done everything possible to study, you are prepared (or so you think). The exam comes along and you aren't so sure anymore, some questions are more than you can handle. The irony of it is you've studied hard, sacrificed so much to try and get somewhere later in life. As life has it, the assesmenet throws you a curve ball and everything isn't going according to plan. As God is your witness you've worked hard, you know it, everybody knows it.

Relationships seems to be the same, you work so hard to try and make things work and somehow life in it's cruel self throws you a curve ball. In all your attempts to get back in the game you realise your team mates have lost hope and some wouldn't be bothered anymore. As you see it, you could be wrong but halfway through the game, they lost hope. Have you ever watched a team of losers plays, somehow regardless of how the coach tries to motivate them, they've decided to lose. In this situation there is nothing anyone can do, you could hold a gun to their heads but they've already decided they aren't gonna play. I've given everything I could, sacrificed so much trying to get my team back to the game. Sleepless nights sometimes and nightmares wondering how to revitalise the team. Hope has slipped away and anguish is all that is left, the team has be disbanded and nothing but the former glory exists (if ever there was any). Let is never be said that I never sweat for the team, bleed for the team and was willing to die for the team. I guess sooner or later one finds out whether the team has hopes of evre gaining the former glory. All that remains are but bitter memories, teams are beconing but it takes time before one can resume competittion. Somewehere one has hope that a white knight can save the team, only dreams remain and maybe a grain of hope and caution. Learn your lessons when you can and hope not to make the same mistakes twice, thrice if you're a complete moron.

Watch a group o fplayers with nothing but the pride to play for, now this is team you want to gun for. We all want a team we can join, one that is willing to tak eyou in and work with you to better themselves and yourself. If only life was so simple
Kman Productions...........................

Nosal stuff

2007-03-17T11:33:00.000+11:00

A simple cough while traveling by public transport doesn't raise as much as an eyebrow, cough three or four times and people may think that you're clearing your throat. Picture yourself on a bus and the person sited adjacent to you has an obvious cold, maybe they are just suffering from hay fever like I do, rather used to. It begs to reason that maybe I never did have hay fever, Summer has just past and I didn't get ill nor did I react to any of the pollen; another story back to the bus setting. The boy next to me is obviously not having a good day, it lunch time and he's heading home. I assumed he'd been asked to go home to rest and avoid infecting the rest of his class. In my hay fever episodes I always knew that tissues were inevitable, invested in a packet that would constantly be in my bag. I guess this kid didn't get the memo on Kleenex day, one sneeze and am ready to get off at the next bus stop. I can't afford to be ill, it reduces my earning capacity since my role is people oriented, all the way.

When was the last time you sat down and observed a child 3-9 years of age? Am asking when the last time some psycho opted to spend the day at the park staring and perverting, just sat down with one of your mates who has a child. In most cases the child will eat dirt, play with dirt, cook dirt cookies and best of all pick their nose. Adults do it too, when they think now one is watching some will pick their nose oblivious to the present company. Tissues were invented for a reason, at least that is what I've fooled myself into believing. Imagine my horror when I am in a bus and a car pulls up, a lady in a power suit (am assuming is going to broker a big deal with her clients, or maybe she could be all dressed up to go clean the park, besides the point). From the bus I can see into her car and she however seems oblivious to our presence. Slowly but sure she lunges into her nose, wiggles her finger for a good minute maybe two and then, my world changes. The sediments on her finger find their way on the steering wheel, at least pretend to be checking for a nose bleed or something. I'd think that what's in your nose is meant to remain in there, unless accompanied by a 'hankie' or the ever reliable Kleenex; if your struggling a old T-shirt may come in handy, the inside of your blouse has also been known to work (in dire needs only).

The boy in the bus has a bad case of a runny nose, allergies can do that (I know that, as I said before). This boy however seems to be short of Kleenex and the next best thing is crouch facing the window, as if we are not noticing the new crouching tiger sequence on the bus. Digs deep into his nostril, performs the famous finger hook maneuver and get the nasty mucus. Put your meal aside if your about to have lunch. I am not sure why I am watching this, most people would turn away (if I did, you wouldn't have this account now would you?). The now finger finds its way onto the armrest, two-four rubs have been known to transfer “gooey” from your hand to the other surface.A few more insertions and the boy was done, here comes the best part. He turns looks at me as if to await his “Golden Globe award for transfer with best effect”, then he rings the bell for his next stop.My mind at this time is marking and memorizing every surface he has touched for my avoidance and even worse marked the bus' number plates to avoid, just in case they missed washing that particular armrest.

Paranoid? Am washing my hands every time I touch a surface, maybe am pushing it but shaking hands is also suffering as I attempt to keep clean of the nose excretions. Have a happy time on the public transport system

Kman Production......................................

Loss

2006-12-31T15:01:00.000+11:00

New year's eve and in a few hours we'll be ushering in 2007, just another day if you ask me. Apparently it's illegal and taboo to spend today alone, worse if you spend in at home. In the previous years I heard friends and family make resolutions and draw out targets for the coming year; most were never achieved. Those in the know profess that having written out goals is a step closer to achieving them, who am I my to contradict them. The last year has been tough, financially, mentally, physically, emotionally let's just leave it @ tough. In a few hours I can start a fresh, problem is am still the same person and probably will do the same things; hence it's just another day for me. I set goals and many a times never achieve them, problem is we aim to high most of the times. Reality always seems to escape us when we are setting our goals, one goal was to gain 10 pounds of body mass through the gym. I've not been to the gym in 2.5 years and I may not be going soon.

Loss is the heading and better get on with the narration; relationships. Every year there are numerous people getting in and out of relationships, what's new? It's one thing when you observe from a distance and it's another story when you are the one facing the incident. We've always been to quick to judge and offer advise to people in relationships that seem to facing hurdles; I know I have. The last year has taught me a few things and coming 2007, I'll be very slow in offering advise or criticizing couples that seem to be in trouble.

Humility has been preached but it's not until you face the situations that realise what exactly goes with it. What is love? People have said that's it better to have loved and lost that never to have loved at all. I beg to differ, here's my take on that (disagree with me please). Love is a choice you make, past the fuzzy feelings that you get when you meet someone there are choices you make. Remember that list you drew when you were 16? Here's mine

Intelligent
Independent
Smart
Beautiful
Lovable
Responsible
5"7 (am 6 foot tall)
Slim
Long Legs
Doesn't smoke
Doesn't Binge
etc
etc

How long have you held and searched by your list? I've spent the better part of my mature life doing just that, looking and somehow forgot a very important quality; one that actually wants you.

I've seen these qualities in many and most of the times I wasn't bold enough to say hi; chicken is the word. The biggest lesson I've learnt , regardless of how much you want someone, if they don't want you you're treading on mushy grounds. Here is where I believe choice comes in, relationships are built on choices and two people making them. A hard and painful lesson to learn.

The next time you see your friends separate, ask yourself what went wrong and before offering advise to either of the party think it through. People can work things out but only if they opt to and decide to take it for the long haul. Lessons I wish I'd learnt 2 years ago, but that is beauty of life you always get another shot eventually. Don't blow it this time and watch out that it's the two of you deciding and not a one sided event. If your smart enough you can read through the lines and the next time you see me, don't ask me the question.

Kman Productions......................................

Belong

2006-12-30T20:02:00.000+11:00

I've always wanted to belong but never seemed to ever fit in, somehow I've had to make compromises. I may air a bit of blemished laundry and maybe burn a few bridges by the end of this narration; this is not my intention. Recall to the age of 13-17 and how everything you did was dictated by the friends you had. I recall once in Moi Academy, a group of the boys decided to smoke butwe didn't have cigarettes hence we improvised. Leave it up to us to improvise, we were amongst the greatest minds to ever grace this earth; I know I still am. The next best thing was pine leaves, for some of you this maybe the equivalent of smoking the turf of a maize cobe. The fluffy threads found on the exterior of a maize cobe. Speaking of maize I am still trying to prove that maize are actually fruits but not not seeds, that is another story and another theory.

Our pine smoking expedition went as well as would be expected, we nearly coughed our lungs out; naturally. Fast forward to 2006 am 25 years old and I still find myself trying to fit in by compromising my standards, just to make friends and not be lonely. We all need friends and people to talk to, we really can't be islands forever; even monks have fellow monks to 'monk' with. What's my point? Observe this, the next time you are out in a group of people (friends for that matter) watch how you behave and what you say. I believe that we seek to be wanted and sometimes we are willing to go against our better judgment for that one minute of belonging; I've done it many a times. However, am tired of compromising myself too much, why can't the damn group accomodate my special needs, principles and beliefs? I'll tell you why, most of the time the people there are just compromising like you are. I believe (not proven yet) that there is a mob mentality that dictates how you behave in a crowd. This is the cue for you to throw in a curse word at me, feel free to leave a note.

On a personal note, I am a chap that doesn't really relish alcohol (I enjoy the occasional scotch and beer) but I've found myself going out all the way just because people around me are getting 'wasted'. How do you say no to this kind of evironment? Am afraid of losing the new found company. What will they say the next time there is a party and am on Soft drink all night? Who said that all gatherings have to be binge nights?

Don't get me wrongs, go out and make merry for that is your prerogative.

My opinion, it really doesn't matter what I think, tomorrow is new years eve and I just might enjoy a glass or two. How far am I willing to sell myself short just to belong, you've got a lot more to offer but we always want to belong. Doing what everyone else is doing, it's safe and you fit right in. Take a few minutes after a night out and after the hangover, ponder as to whether the cost was worth the 'fun' the previous nitght. Monetary costs is not my target, I always ask myself whether my body can regerate from what I do to it. Safe to say majority of the time sleep is all it takes, majority of the time; there are times when a bit of devine intervention has been required.

Here's my take on things, am no saint and am probably the most blemished as far as comprimising goes. If you give yourself too much and compromise too much, you'll end up like everyone else. My goal is to be a step above average, screw that, 5 steps above average. I still want to belong though and on many occassions I know I will compromise way too much, am no saint remember. What is the cost you are paying for wanting to belong? I know I've paid the price with 2 years of my life and maybe a few more a long the way. It's a working progress and I hope that in the end, you and I can be 2 steps ahead if not 4. I want to feel wanted though, and maybe that is where the problem lies.

Kman Productions.........................................

Sit Back

2006-11-28T18:20:00.000+11:00

Been in a project hailed as the next new thing? 6 Months down track you realize that something is missing, motion is beginning to appear forced and transition is not flowing smoothly. You begin a project with zeal and halfway through, it hits you that you may have taken a wrong turn a few weeks ago and slack is now diminishing. Budget tight and deadline approaching, well you got people looking to get the project done when they want it. Relationships could be thought of as projects and most of the times we may have things under control only to realize that down the tracks you missed a turning. With a project, you risk over blowing the budget and having delays, feelings on the other take o a different route.

You invest time in a relationship, heavily invest and somewhere along the line as you review you investment, leakage and losses are beginning to appear. All investors want a return, none of us are out to lose money. Think of it from an investors point of view, visualize a scene in a Wall Street; recession has been announced. How many investors will dump their stocks? I would be the first to call my stock broker, " SELL", cash in while you can the market is volatile. Things are different when matters if the heart are at stake, bailing out when stock prices crush may not always be the best option, nonetheless it's an option.

The thing with options is that the he who stands to lose the most need to assess the sistuation critically before opting out or trying to weather the market shake up. Risk can't be avoided, the only lesson from my numerous management classes was that risk can't be avoided but can be managed. Selling is probably the safest option for a shareholder but what if the market picks up tomorrow and you've shed you shares? It's understandable to want to cash in while they are worth something, after all none of us like losing. Sometimes it's good to just SIT BACK and watch, panic is inevitable but after the panics sit back and look at the bigger picture; what if the market rises tomorrow?

Your stock broker recommends holding on to the stock for a bit longer and if the prices continue to drop, he'll sell and reimburse you on the lose. Relationships are tricky and the share market rules and principles may not tally, they are similar (my understanding). Don't just dump you shares at the first sign of market crush, just maybe tomorrow your share will rise, just maybe.

Kman Productions.............................

He's Back

2006-09-15T12:25:00.000+10:00

Many months pass and before you realise, it's been a year, ups, downs and exponetial plots can be made of your last year. I've been asked why I stopped writing, my response? Good question. In life there are stages, each presents different prices. The price I paid was halting this blog, what a price to pay, huh? I quit twice only to realise that the love of writing far outweighs the consequences of what I put forward. The debate is on and maybe past this weekend, narration will commence.

Finances is my next theme, now that my employer has decided to reduce my pay by more than $180 a week. Quit! You might advise, it has now crossed my mind and more inclinced to do so than stick it out hoping that they delay our signing the new contract. The AWA had been a hot topic for the country, for most of the part I couldn't be bothered, I was a professional and I had bargaining power (what an idiot). An email is sent out and no sooner than you read that you realise the financial goals have been derailed for the time being, provided you stay with the employer. You have skills that you believe are worth more than you get, what do you do? How do you get past the comfort and put yourself on the market while retaining a clean slate at work, how?

The answer is quite simple, it's hard, very hard for that matter but not impossible. The goal now is to accumulate the letters of recommedations, file them and wave them at every potential employer. Don't put yourself at the mercy of the employer, we all know they aim to pay you the least possible while maximise on your output.Dare I lie , mastermind a plot to have myself head hunted by a competitor that will offer better training and then I will corner the market and provide my services. Be my employers(plural) competitor, take a share of the cake they seem to want to take from staff

Kman Productions....................................

I don't care

2006-03-02T11:01:00.000+11:00

"I don't care what people think of me”, "I don't care what people say about me". I am tired of hearing people say this, why would people be sayings things about you? Have you realized that when someone utters these statements they are defending themselves? People never say this when positive remarks are made, "I don't care that you think am well dressed". This has been my experience, most of the time people who want to do what they want will use this as their defense protocol. "I don't care .........” who are we kidding here; we do care what other people think.

Why else do we shop for the best looking garments, shoes jewellery, groom ourselves; not for ourselves. Our lives shouldn't be based on what other think or say about us but we kid ourselves when think what they say or think doesn't affect us. It's shouldn't dictate what we do, we should however consider why they are saying or thinking like they are about us. What have we done that warrants negativity? Query yourself honestly, why get so defensive when people say something, is there something to be said?

I do care what people say and think I don't live to please them but it helps me judge whether am doing the right thing. People will always talk, we can't help it; plagued. Always doing things to the extreme, just because we don't care what people think. I think the biggest trap we fall into is overdoing things to prove we don't care what others think or say about us. Is maturity doing whatever you want or is it realizing you can do what you want but chose another option? Why is this a generation where so many people can't say no? Let's go drinking, yeah why not. Let's go chick/bloke hunting, why not. You want to hit a joint, why not. Is this freedom or are we kidding ourselves? Do care why people say or think like they do about you, you could be on the wrong (yeah, you could be). On the other hand, they could be bastards that are envious of you. Take heed folks, don't kid yourself in that you don't care, you encourage rebellion on your part, and just to prove that you don't care. I care and you should too

Kman productions ............................

The price

2006-03-02T10:31:00.000+11:00

Dreaming and hope has been credited to being one of the most crucial attributes for success, why not? How often do we verbally say that we will do this or will achieve the other, but fail to do anything about it? My goal in life was to be amongst the greatest minds in the computing world that is probably not what I crave for now. My dreams have changed as would be expected and is normal for us. The point isn't the changing of goals but the fact that there was a price tag to achieving this goal; I never paid the price and thus my goals changed. Over the last few months I have observed what I think is a plague, eating away our dreams, 'achieving by luck'.

"I wish I could be rich, I wish I could get that coat, I wish I could ........ (Whatever you may be wishing for)". Why are we so reluctant when it comes to the paying the price? Very few of us want to be in the gutter building the foundation for our future, we want to live for now and tomorrow doesn't seem to play into our planning. The reality of it all, I too have been there and it's only a few weeks since I realized I could achieve more; expand my thinking by reading about other people's triumphs and failures. There is only as much puff as we can emit before we lose it and crave quitting. Reading about others failures and successes puts things into perspective, we may fail but we can't achieve unless we risk failure. How will you achieve anything unless you attempt something? I hate failure and this has been the biggest drawback for me, I couldn't take risks even when the payoff would have been 'big'.

Inbuilt fear of failure, we will struggle with this for the rest of our lives but let's do something, even in fear. Life is strange, you may put in the effort but rip nothing materially, the mental growth however is probably better. I'd love to win the lottery, the only problem is I never but lottery tickets (how would I win? you ask). That's the point; I can't win if I am not in it. You will not get much unless you're in the game, there are no guarantees. Doing nothing guarantees you nothing, getting down to trying something has better odds than just sitting there, groaning, bitching of how you want to do great things. Give us all a break, shut the hell up and commence, do something damn it!

Develop yourself with every opportunity you get, risk something and get the adrenaline rush, fear, frustration, start small. Have you got a faulty computer, try and fix it if not, get the techs to fix it for you. You got a leak to fix, buy the necessary tools, and do something. Got some, emails to read or write, start with one a short one.

Bloody hell, let’s undertake one of our resolutions, get fit, gain weight, brush your teeth more often, mend your couch, quit smoking, start smoking, reduce on the grog, increase the grog intake, buy that fish tank, ask that guy/girl out, leave that guy/girl, apply for that job promotion, leave that job, tell her/him what you think. Do something folks, can’t be too comfortable, by all means appreciate and be thankful for what you have but desire to move forward, better yourself

Kman productions...........................

Compromise

2006-02-06T00:47:00.000+11:00

A Danish newspapers prints cartoons that seem to mock the Muslim faith and the next thing that happens is riots in the Danish capital. Ambassadors are recalled and jihads are declared against some Danish people, all in the name of cartoons and faith. I wonder if doing the right thing always has to involve retaliation, can't anyone ever solve their problems in a civil manner? My understanding of the current society we live is really tormenting, none of us seem to want to admit wrong doing in fear of losing face. During Xmas, some newspapers may print a 'funny' cartoon depicting Jesus, some Xstians will protest, some call for blood. Majority may get offended but opt for the rational way of dealing with things, de-escalate the situation before it get's out of hand.

What if after the publishing of these cartoon, oe of the clerics rang the editor and expressed their concern? Freedom of press is another hot topic that has been debated for many years and there isn't a government willing to debate further into the extent of this freedom, the press s regarded as the government check. Challenging the press could be perceived as challenging the people's right to ask questions. I don't tolerate humiliating other religious faiths nor do I entertain mocking of religious groups. None-the- less we don't need a jihad to resolve a few misguided cartoons, boycott buying the newspaper but violence isn't going to solve anything. Whatever happened to civil disagreements and agreeing to disagree? I thought part of being human was to different and thus different opinions are formed and we take things differently. Not agreeing with you doesn't mean I have to destroy what you stand for, it simply implies we may not enjoy certain topics in conversation.

Have a cup of tea, express yourself in a civil manner, if need be boycott but just because you have the right, doesn't mean you have to exercise it. Sometimes we have to choose not to thump our liberties for the sake of peace and others. How about the responsibilities that come with these rights we have?

Kman productions

Pitiful

2006-01-21T22:23:00.000+11:00

Over the last few days I have pondered over what real power is, to this day am still struggling to come to a sensible conclusion. People have stated " I do what I want, when I want" and I respect that, that takes guts. On the other hand it go me thinking, does that mean you don't consider what other people think or how they may be affected? My life has been interesting, sometimes trying to make people comfortable where possible, compromises have been made. It's rather interesting when you view this argument from both sides of the coin.

1. "I do what I want, when I want" could be seen by most as a sign of independence and I envy those who can take such actions and steps. Pity also sets in when I also realise that this could lead to a me attitude, I don't care what you say, am doing it my way. At what point are we to ease on our personal pleasure and gratification and take others into consideration? This could also be seen as a sign of rebellion, either way, it's purely one sided and could be detrimental to self.

Take for example you are aiming to achieve a goal by the end of a period, you've decided to attempt this task and you don't care what we say. Ambition is great but at what point does this turn into arrogance, separating you from the ones who have tried to have your best interests at heart? They may not have done it right but what about them? You can't do what you want when you want and think you've made.

Here's my revelation, realising that you "can do what you want, when you want" but opting not to do it. Now that is real power in your hands, otherwise you turn into a slave of your own ambitions and wants, other people count and you don't always have to have your way. If you never learn anything in life, learn how to be considerate of others, not letting them dictate your life but considerate. Learn how to be sometimes be uncomfortable sometimes so that someone else can be comfortable. Pity ain't it, do what you want when you want, I thought there was power in that, how wrong I have been. True power I believe is self sacrifice at certain instances in our lives for the sake of others, I .......................

Kman productions...................

Take a break, relax

2006-01-08T20:18:00.000+11:00

For most us clocking off is probably the best part of the day, we are out of that dump they call work. Getting through the door and breathing the fresh air, it's like we'd been locked up, now we are on parole;the freedom. Picture this, you work in a supermarket and as you leave you decide to catch up on some shopping, nothing too much but the essentials. As you make it to the '12 or less items less' register, a lady in a motorised 'wheel chair' queues before you do. The children are helping her buy insect spray and 2 bottles of water, it's a warm day hence the extra hydration. It's obvious the lady suffers from some debilitating condition, her muscles spasm, she is confined to the motorised mobility vehicle and she trembles as she attempts to hand the currency to her son. For most people, patience would be second to nature and you'd even try to offer a helping hand if need be, some of us wouldn't give a damn and that too I understand.

Imagine also that behind you is another lady, she appears sane and other than being slightly obese has no visible physical condition. As the chair bound lady is making her payment, a sigh of frustration eminates from the lady behind you. Utter disbelief, digsust and the need to pound her face are the emotions I experience, all in less than 2 seconds. Regardless of what rush you may be in, a physically diabled person shouldn't warrant a sigh, should they? Uniform binds you to respect company policy even when not on the clock and hence no utterance was made by kman, otherwise a good dose of "shut the hell" up may have been prescribed. Surely we could spare a minute or two for those with disabilities, how about sparing a minute for everybody. Isn't that the same urgency that lands drivers in the ICU, trying to shave off seconds a 20 minute drive landing yourself in ICU.

Kman Productions............................

Greatest gift

2005-12-27T22:10:00.000+11:00

Xmas has just been and for most of us we recieved presents, not necessairy what we'd hoped for but we did get something; nana's sweater, Simpson boxers etc etc. Presents are all good but I may have realised the greatest gift I could give to anyone, trust, support and encouragement in their dreams. Believing in someone is probably the greatest gift I could offer, I have learnt that over the course of the last few weeks. We are selfish beings and when we sense lose we recoil and try to hold on to everything, losing everyone and everything we care deeply for. Take a leaf from me, trusting people counts for much, if there is no trust control sets in and we want to monitor every movement. In the end lose is inevitable unless you can realise you err and get the chance to redeem yourself. I pray that you get the second chance, redeem yourself and begin to mature in your relatonships, careers etc etc

Kman productions...........

Summer

2005-12-27T03:18:00.000+11:00

The weather gets warm and humid and before you realise it, summer has set in and the nights are almost intorelable. Sun worshippers are now in full swing, making their sacrifices everyday at the beach.For most religions, tribute to their gods is made on a regular more consistent basis; no the sun worshippers summer is their holiday. A quick walk along the beach will quickly reveal to most the value we have placed upon our skins, zero. The sight of a tan is percieved by many to be ultimate alure during the warm months, personally I don't care. People will sit in the heat to get that perfect complexion, pale skin doen't seem to attract anyone anymore. The heat also seems to do wonders for the male visual department, how often do you get the treat of your life without any extra effort from you?

Yesterday as I struggled to get to the movies, no non-essential stores(chemists stocking hangover cures), companies should be open on Boxing day. A big night on Xmas day meant I was tethered to the bed for most of the following morning. Imagine my delight when @ 9:00AM I receive a call, confirming a movie date that had been scheduled a few days ago. Confirming is good but damn! 9 in the morning for a movie that screens @ 4 PM, not subtle at all. Making it to the bus stop was a miracle in it's self, most will bare me witness that light is not tolerated after a big night. The slightest light through your bedroom window (or where-ever it is you managed to sleep) can send you packing for the closet., giving new meaning to coming out of the closet, later in the day.

Though the bus trip is only 5 minutes, I was surprised at the excitment on the bus, the boys just couldn't help themselves (by boys I mean men).

Kman productions..............

Trying too hard

2005-12-26T15:22:00.000+11:00

Perfection, achievement is not enough anymore, we have to be perfect too. How many people have you seen that have spent their lives trying to aim for perfection in everything that they miss out on enjoying their lives? I've seen a couple, unfortunately I too have all too often fallen for this mind trap. Everything has to be perfect, I have to be perfect, "I have to be". Over the last few days I have realised that it's okay to make mistakes, for God knows I've made some big ones almost very costly but I got a second chance, I hope. Can you try so hard that you end up messing everything, you seize functionally even normally? Yes, I have seen that, in myself over the last few days and I guess it's time to back-track, get my act together and move on from there. Let's take that step a bit more cautiously but realise tht trying to hard could hurt you and those around you. Relax and try enjoy whatever you do, where possible that is. My head hurts(don't ask why, Xmas and all etc etc etc) but I just realised that by trying too hard, we lose ourselves and isolate those who care about us.

Kman Productions.....................

losing everything

2005-12-25T13:08:00.000+11:00

It's funny how we never really understand what we value and those we love and are fond of. How many times have you been at the end of your tether, nothing seems to be working as it should; not that you can see. You are too pre-occupied with thoughts that you begin to make mistakes, pick fights where possible and your mood has taken over whether the weather left; you're unpredictable. One minute your jovial, the next life is ending and you really can't explain why. I think I have the answer, please note that this is not the usual whine that you've grown accustomed to. It's not until you realise that stress can ruin you that you begin to take necessary steps to prevent the inevitable on this disastrous path you've chosen. I guess it's only under pressure that the devil, flaws in us begin to creep through; trust me I know. You spend you entire life trying to be different and hopefully set an example only to realise you aint fooling anyone, you're just human after all. Somewhat there is a relief but yet disappointment has a way of finding you.

My biggest flaw is probably worrying too much, everything has to be systematic and in order; no surprises. Worrying blended with being a pessimist is a dangerous combination and even though everything else seems to be working, slowly but surely the cracks set in. A conversation I had a few days ago scared the hell out of me, why would I be so negative? Maybe it's good I have realised it now because then I can work on it. It may take time to correct but at least motion has been set, that's the beginnning.What are you to do in this sistuation, pride is to pretend everything is ok and carry on hoping people don't notice. The other way is admit you're full of shit, apologise and try and make amends. Easier said that done, ego is another cousin that will pop up the minute you think of admission; you can't admit!

They say desperate situations call for desperate actions, sometimes this is true but sometimes simply not worrying maybe the answer.Afterall what does worrying achieve, sleepless nights, moodyness etc etc, we all worry at some point but too much of it is dangerous; a lesson I have almost paid a heavy price for. Salvage mode now sets in and trying to correct the wrongs maybe the only logical step, relax (not easy either), take a deep breathe and ask yourself,"am I willing to pay the price?", if not then .....................................

Kman productions.........................

I guess this is what I do, write, we'll see if I can focus more and bring back the spark that was there when kman productions was set in motion.

one last note

2005-12-23T06:49:00.000+11:00

How could I be so gullible? Can I really seize writing? Only time will tell.......................

kman productions.............

Curtain Drops, the end

2005-12-22T19:33:00.000+11:00

With less than 4 hours of sleep, after trying to make late night calls I made it to work; pissed off as hell. Do you ever wake up and hope to God( or whomever you hope to) that someone crosses your path? "God, I wish they could just say something stupid, I'll tear em a new one". That was my attitude this morning and true to it, I got what I asked for. Getting mad in this day and age has its own complications, gone are the days when you could just get mad and show you're mad. Now people expect you to hold it in, be nice, appreciate what you have, fuck them! A one hour bus ride with less 4 hours of sleep could be classified as grade 1 torture, a more effective way than electric shock on terrorists. On most days when I catch an early ride I have always questioned why some commuters are so pissed off, I have gone to the extent of blogging about them;now I understand. Today I blog about my personal experience as the mad sleep deprived commuter. I always wondered what it was they may have eaten for breakfast,cocoa shit puffs, morning cereal?

So my first encounter was when one gentleman began a conversation with a lady sitting next to me. The last thing I want is idle talk early in the morning, worse of all I have to listen to it for an hour or so. The man upstairs must have been looking out for me because the conversation didn't last more than 10 minutes, yeah that long. 50 more minutes of silence on the bus, oh I need to get my own ride. Next, some gentleman decides he will greet every boarding passenger "good morning, how are you today?". I don't mind morning salutations but why so early in the god-damn morning? What the heck was so good about this morning, everybody boarding seemed to have the same feeling and attitude as I did; they just didn't show it and tried to fake a smile. Poor people couldn't quite pull it off, the morning drag was set and there wasn't much to cheer them; my kinda people.

Work is most cases is designed to be a pain in the butt, today was no exception. It's almost Xmas and the pressure is on from management to push things before d-day, the boss comes in and is hell bent on harassing us. Now for a gentleman who has been with us for the last week, I doubt he'd have much to tell us; that's what you'd expect. Observe first before you offer your policy and/or opinion,stupid! Simple facts of life, before you offer a suggestion, observe., it saves you looking like an ass. So the new boss comes in, yaps all he wants, then leaves for a coffee break. Phew! Or so I thought, "he's gone". Oh boy! He was back in 30min breathing fire, if hell is missing one of their furnaces, get in touch. I may know where to get a replacement.

Work is over and I make my way to the local toy store, am too old for toys but am looking for a present (bare with me). There you go, a huge teddy bear and guess what? It's on sale, save money and get a good present, not a bad way to end the day huh? Before you go singing carols, read carefully. At the checkouts, a young lad decides to exercise his vocals to the limit. I never thought it was possible for a male vocal cord to go that high, I could almost swear I can hear bells ringing. Picture this, the horror movie scene where the girl screams, instead of the girl, a boy screams and with him are amplifiers strong enough to convert you (what to, I don't know).

Nice way to end my session here on blogger, some fucked up kid screaming his head out, 'mr happy passenger' greeting everyone and 'Sir New Boss' messing up our day @ work.

It has been a good run, after 8 months I thought I'd finish strong, a tantalizing juicy tale. This ends on a flat note, I've lost the urge to write over the last few weeks. I guess my life has taken a new turn and writing doesn't seem to fit in, I have a lot to write but it's not ethical to publish. Here are a few of the narration I'd planned for

(1). alcohol induced battle of the sexes

(2). Why men's toilets stink

(3). What really goes on in the supermarket

(4). Can we celebrate without alcohol and enjoy ourselves

This is how it must end, everything else in my head shall remain there until a certain time when all will be memories Simply put, what I write deosn't just reflect on me, considering this, it's only fair kman productions ends. Everything has an end, Kman productions' time has come.

CURTAIN DROPS...............................................

Kman Productions..........................

love,lust

2005-12-20T20:16:00.000+11:00

Love, lust, love, lust, like, fond, appreciate all terms that have been used to describe relationships, we've experienced at least one of these if not more. I am not Dr. Phil and I don't pretend to know about relationships, am still learning. Have you ever been in love? Would you call the butterflies love or is that just puppy love; wears out after a few weeks. Is love a choice or is it a feeling? Do you chose to like people or do you have no control as to who you like? How much of yourself should you give to someone before they begin to control your life? Changes we make to accomodate people into our lives, why it is hard. Too many questions but few answers. Is maturity characterised by age, is part of maturing realising that you are wrong and apologies are not taboo?

Why is it a woman will be beaten by the husband/boyfriend and yet go back to them, all bruised. Someone you know picks a prick for a guy, should you support them or threaten the prick off? I've lost patience in this field and I guess I no longer feel anything when people make wrong choices, I can't care anymore I have had it. How emotionally draining can it be to open your heart to the wrong person? With this in mind how relaxing is it to spend time in the company of someone you care about, regardless of the activity.I don't know, more questions less answers
Kman productions.............

F... off

2005-12-20T19:59:00.000+11:00

Common assumption, all men wonna see breasts, thighs, nudity etc etc, we obsess over sex for most of our lives and we are nothing but pigs or dogs maybe even both. Why is that when am @ work, my male colleagues will always point out a pretty woman to me? Some scantly dressed woman walks into the store, summer season doesn't help and the auto response is "Kman look @ that ass". For fuck sake, I've got bigger things to think about than some scattered ass walking through a store. God forbid I walk into the tea room and it happens to be males on their break, "Kman there was this chick", "did you see that chick", "man she had", I don't give a shit. For all I care Pamela Anderson may be walking through the store and I probably wouldn't go out of my way to oggle. Godamn! Fellows am sick and tired of being treated like a perv just because the guy before me was an ass. Are there no nice guys out there?

The next time I am stopped just because a chick has walked by, I will hang you, your mate and maybe the guy standig next to you. Why isn't there anyone telling me about the new Solaris OS that is out, or the best way to partition your hard drive? I want to believe I could function without oggling, wouldn't you?

Kman productions...................

I can

2005-12-19T00:06:00.000+11:00

For the last year or so I have had the desire to build my own site, custom designed for kman. In that year, I have also had other plans which I hoped to pursue. Truth is, I've achieved little in terms of my goals for the year and this scares the hell out of me. How many times does your husband,boyfriend, brother, uncle etc offer to fix the leak in the roof, the exposed cables and maybe even fix the car; only to make it worse or even worse not do it prolonging the suffering? I am guessing am not the only one realising that there are better ways to lead my life than trying to do everything myself. Last year I swore I'd better myself academically and I have, not as well as I'd hoped but I have. What are we do when we are faced by situations where we either ask for professional help or attempt to solve the problem ourselves? I am going for the professional help over my own insight, asking isn't stupidity; thinking I can solve everything, now that is plain dumb!

What to do about my website, www.ctips.net ? I will use a free template, modify it slightly to suit, that is what I do best; modify. Who are kidding trying to think we can do it all? I've stretched myself to thin that I can't complete anything anymore. I have too many pending projects and I guess it's time to cut down and concentrate on what is most beneficial. I've already known what ctips.net was going host, advise to the lay people of Australia and hopefully elsewhere on but not limited to computer, telecommunication, digital technology. I happen to have no life of my own, though this is changing thanks to a young lady I met. (that is narration for another day). I've spent too much time trying to learn things that I realise I could save you the time and maybe answer some of your questions @ ctips, upcoming soon, it better be soon.

Key points, ask professionals they are there for a reason and they also have bills to pay. If we fixed all our problems, how would they earn a living? Let someone with the know how advise you on the difficult issues, I can't do everything. I'd like to think I could but reality is, I can't and nor can you.

Kman productions.........

Tax cuts

2005-12-15T23:07:00.000+11:00

Tax cuts, the only topic that will cause most citizens to unite in demanding for that extra $5 a week. In the last Australian Financial year, the average Joe recieved an average of about $5-$7 extra a week in future tax cuts. Most people in the know would probably hae had this money spent elseshere where collectively the $5*5million*52 =13billion may solve quite a few national problems; medicare, infrastructure etc etc. It has never seized to amaze me how we as citizens will forget all about the queueing time in public hospitals whenever the Treasurer announces more tax cuts, we die for this cuts.

Budget surplus----please define

Simply put if you spend less than you had planned for, then you have a surplus. Use this same principle when addressing a project engineer and you may end up forming part of the concrete slab if he happens to be a constructions project engineer. A budget surplus should ideally be what is left after a service has been delivered at a lesser cost but while quality has not been compromised. National surplus, I bet you've had to queue in a hospital, hopefully not holding onto your guts as you wait for the doctor. How many times have you been to a government office and found fewer than cival servants staff? But no! We want that extra $5 for a Happy Meal at the local Mc D's, $5 for health care benefits?

Australia has announced a possible $12 billion dollar surplus, have they paid the national debt roughly 10 times that surplus. Have you been provided with all essential services? Am not talking about welfare, but essential services that governments ought to provide for you taxes. Next time a budget surplus is announced, followed by possible tax cuts, put your thinking cap on. Has the governmet fulfilled its obligations, delivered services without compromising on quality. If they have, then maybe your entitled to that extra serve of fat at Mc Ds, Hungry Jacks, KFC or whatever catches your eye. But then again, it's people like you that clog our hopsitals with obese related ailments that the real health issues are not addressed. Am sick, am Fat. Back to surplus and deficit, think about it.

Kman Productions.......................

old people, eew!

2005-12-14T17:51:00.000+11:00

Turning 18 was meant to be the next big thing, I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted; or so I thought. After many years of being told what to do and how to do it, I thought this would be the loophole I'd been waiting for, rebel to the max! 18 came and after much excitement on the day, I realised that turning 18 would also mean I was held accountable fo all my action; the law of the land applied to me. Before this milestone, my actions were always taken to be that of a young confused child, prosecution was out of the question. Ironically turning 18 meant I had to be careful of what I did, no more baby steps. 2 days ago I was on my way to work, in the bus were a few senior citizens, probably on their way to a bowling club. My perception of old people has always been that of respect, but after a certain age respect is replaced with suspicion. Not that they will hurt me, afterall the older you get the more fragile you get, am in my prime years;I could take them.

Am in the bus and my only thoughts were, how much knowledge is locked in these people? What have they gone through that I could tap and learn from them, save me the trouble of making similar mistakes they'd have made? Society tends to alienate the older generation, admit them into retirement homes where they will not bother us. We visit them during special ocassions, birthdays, Xmas and funerals (their funerals). How much do you think we could learn from these people? Yes, I know they are not into the Ipod like we are but am sure there are certain truths that never change. Isn't life, life whether it be back in the 1950s or in 2005? Only difference would be we all have cell phones and pretend to torelate other people(races), back then it was outright open contempt.

Pause for a second, think about how much info your grandpa, grandma, parents may have before relegating into the aged heap we all like to heap them in.

Kman Productions................

I will

2005-12-14T02:58:00.000+11:00

It is very amazing how people don't seem to know the power of what they utter. A parent tells their child that they will buy them candy if they behave, the child expects candy now, on the proviso they have been 'nice'. So what happens when the candy purchase is not fulfilled? Logically, one would be expected to show anger, frustration and feel betrayed, "what an idiot I've been", such thoughts wouldn't be far off from their minds. "If you are a good boy, I will buy you that push bike you always wanted", poor boy tries for a whole year to be good waiting for that bike; probably never hears of it again. What happens when we as adults are dealing with each other and we say we will do certain things, and don't fulfill our side of the deal? Simple uttering, "I will come by your office at 1400hrs, take you for lunch", would you believe this and for-go your scheduled lunch break at 1200hrs expecting lunch at 1400hrs? What if the other person doesn't show nor call? What logical grace period would you give before spitting the dummy and ordering in your lunch,? It's late and your starving, angry and disappointed; not a good mixture.

"Hey, I will call you at 1900hrs tonight", you get home at 1800hrs enough time to freshen up have your dinner and prepare for that phone call that was meant to be coming. The clock ticks past 1930hrs, no call yet, 2000hrs nothing. At this point you realise that you could have done something more constructive than sit by the phone waiting, call someone else but you wanted to keep the line free, just in case your caller calls. Am I the only one that will clear my schedule when, " I will call you @ -----hrs", is mentioned to you? Have you found yourself testing whether your phone is working when the apparent phone call doesn't come through? I have dialed my own number, sent myself a text, just to make sure their is nothing wrong on my end.

Should you believe what people tell you, make time for them or should you lead your life without a plan and squeeze in your friends when they call? What ever happened to simply honouring our word, why say you will and then not do it? What purpose does it serve that you put someone else hopes up, only to disappoint? When will I ever learn? Do us all a favour, don't waste our time and hope, just keep it to yourself if you don't intend to fulfill your end of the agreement. After all you're the one that brought it up, we were happy with that we were doing.

So why did I wake up @ 0244hrs to write this, I don't know.

Kman Productions.........................

Why

2005-12-12T17:21:00.000+11:00

You spend your entire life protecting yourself against what you perceive as a loophole for heartache, then one day you decide to let go of your protective barrier and experience what life is all about. Since the day you were born, most of your life has been pre-programmed and many activities choreographed by parents,relative and gurdians. You are supposed to meet a girl you like when the year turn 2011, when you turn 30. These are the rules set before you were born and what options do you have but to follow. One would understand, when your folks draw out such plans for your life, they are trying to make life as safe as they can for you. So what happens when you meet a girl you like, hopefully she likes you and these events don't coincide with the pre-set activities for that year? Please remember that most of your life activities have almost been calculated for you and once you reached the age of consent, you took over the planning; sticking to most of what had been determined before you.

A girl comes into your life, forget the plans for they seem to be flawed, why didn't they involve her? As you get to know each other you realise you like her, does she like you the same way you do. Should you ask, assume she does? What do you do when she leaves for a while, to a far far land? Do you sit in your room mourning for that whole period, or do you mourn for a few days and then move on with the remainder of your life? After all she will be coming back, even though it takes more than you'd like. Why does life take such turns? Are you tired of being told that you can''t whin because others have it worse than you do? Am I not allowed to be sad, show anger, disgust or hatred because others have it worse than I do? I understand the logic behind such advise, whatever the case, there will always be some individual who got the raw end of the deal. So, who then is allowed to mourn and show anger when life takes the wrong turn? One thing is for sure, I will need help in coping with the seperation, now that is the plain truth.

Kman Productions........................................

I hate it

2005-12-11T19:32:00.000+11:00

One of your friends tells you that they are leaving the country, moving in with their new boyfriend; they don't speak the language. Considering that you have been cast as the supporting kind, what sort of advise would you offer your puppy love crazed friend? Probably the first question would be how long they've known each other and how they propose to support each other. Is the boyfriend and apparent heir to one of the Spanish monarchs or heir to an oil magnate? Regardless of whether the boyfriend is going to support her, what advise would you as friend offer. Friends are there to offer support, yet in most cases we are also there to chastise our lost/confused mates. Don't they hate it when you tell them that you thought it would be a mistake? They should try it out in the land they both know before moving to a new country, that was my sentiment; please try it out here before taking such a leap. "Please!" They ignored my plea, planned the trip, quit work, booked the flight and even hosted a farewell party, a party I attended. Today I learn my friend happens to be in the country, applied for her old job and now is trying to settle back in, apparently a fight caused a change of heart. Poor thing, what am I to say next time we meet? "I told you so"?

I hate it when am right because it generally means that someone else is suffering, 'I told you so' wouldn't be the most appropriate nor sensitive statement. Why is it that at our age most of us are making such rush decisions? Don't we pause to think before we leap? How hard is it to project 5 years from now and judge whether the path we are about to take is right for us. It may seem right, C'mon! We are so excited that a new avenue has become available that we barely stop to evaluate the facts. My best and worst quality is the ability to project beyond the next day, month, year and maybe next decade. The few friends remaining think am too cautious and think too much, maybe I do. How do you balance 'living'(as they put it), logic and common sense? Statistics prove that I have been right in majority of the predictions I have made about the paths most people I know have taken. I am no believer in clarvoyancy and all that 'rubbish', my career path doesn't allow me to deal with superstition but numbers, they are yet to let me down.

Offering sound unbiased advise to your friends(2 are left for me) is vital, as is offering support when they falter. I hate being right, am a pessimist and life is very interesting when you analyze your own life. Obviously am biased when it comes to my life but, I hope I have friends who could offer me logical and unbiased advise. As a firm pro-facts activists I also have learnt that some times, it's expected we act from our heart and not reason through everything we do. Sometimes impulse is expected, I don't advise it but who am I kidding here? We aren't robots and I don't advocate dictatorial reasoning and actions in judgement, all I say is reason before you leap. Have you heard the famous excuse for infidelity, fights and lewd behaviour, "I was drunk"? I have been drunk and unless you were planning on cheating, fighting before you began drinking, chances are you will have a quiet (ignore the impression you get that you have to speak over everyone else) and majority of the times get home without a bruise, maybe broke.

Kman Productions.....................

spam

2005-12-09T23:05:00.000+11:00

You have mail! You have mail! You have mail! Most us will associate this annoying phrase will sleepless in Seattle or Time warner AOL internet service provider. Emailing has always been fun when you get actual people responding to your emails. After work, the first thing I do is check mail, both electronic and hard copy. For some reason all I get in the mail are bill and junk mail, my emails are slightly different in the sense all I get is spam and chain emails. There are certains I don't get in this life, who has the time to read through a chain email that has gone through 50+ email addresses and by the time it gets to your inbox, a 3Kb document is now in the 100s Kb; extra email recipients you don't know and don't want to know. Here is how it starts, you receive notification that you have email and off you heart races, who could it be that gilr I met at the bar, could it be my long lost school mate? You mind is racing, then BOOM! the subject has a fwd: prefix and you realise it's another chain email or some Nigerian scam trying to get you hard earned $$ through some shady deal.

Anybody that sends me forwarded emails may have realised that they are quickly crossed off my emailing list, I don't have the time to read rubbish. A funny picture may be tolerated but one those " please send to 5 people and you will recieve your wish", try again. Back in high school I fell for one of this pranks, the deal was to send letters to 5 people and in a matter of days I'd recieve 50 letters. Ok! I admit I was slow then, maybe I still haven't quite grown up but as they once bitten twice shy. People still send these chain letters and am amazed at the number of responses these emails get. Check out a few of my favourites

"Yahoo is auditing the email accounts and yours will be deactivated if you don't send that email to everyone in your address book"

"Bill Gates' Microsoft is offering money to poeple that forward that email, the perks are per email, the more emails you send the more money Gates will give you"

"The Nigerian banker who has unclaimed money in a Swiss account and needs your help tp unlock the money"

"If you love Jesus, send this to at least 5 people to show your love of God" I wonder what the WWJD bracelet wearers would do in this situation.?

etc etc etc

kman productions.................

Logic

2005-12-09T22:37:00.000+11:00

You apply for leave to travel home and it's declined, you later apply for leave to sit for your exams and that to is declined, the only way out is to report the matter to the employee union. An employer seems to assume that they own their employees and most believe their staff's lives revolve around their workplace. Wouldn't that be the perfect work horse? One that will set aside personal ambition and social setting to fulfil the needs of the employer. How much freedom do we have when it comes to our jobs? How many of us are able to negotiate better deals without fear of retaliation? When you call in sick, does your employer treat you like you have commited a cardinal sin? Mine does and I really don't care anymore, with time even the best will lose it and let apathy take root. How much rubbish can you take before you lose interest in the company you work for and begin to look out for yourself? It took me a mere 4 years and now I think I have reached my tethers limit, anything more and I will explode. Gentleman they used to say when they refered to me, even that has worn thin and only God knows the thought I harbour.
Have you on an ocassion had terrible thoughts about your workplace, you tend to see fires on the evening news and for that split second you kinda hope it was you office or factory that went up in smoke. If you don't, I have had these thoughts, just thoughts for a milisecond before regaining my full senses.

What use is it that your employer will not give you the due respect and curtesy and then in return you lose interest in advancing their mission and business goals. Since when did dictatorship result in long term benefit to either party. The tyrant may fell that s/he has power and control but eventually there is a coup and governments/companies/organisations colapse. Some of you may ask, what if the company I work for is a multi-billion dollar company? In my experience staff in such organosations are no more than numbers;fodder in better terms. You think your resignation will hurt them? Think again and if these are you thoughts, you are better off elsewhere. Does your employer really care about your health? If you think yes, let me surprise you, my experience teaches me otherwise. The last injury I had at work was strain related, similar to the previous 3. Now with these repetitive injuries common sense would be to asses why staff are prone to them. But noooo! My employer thought it fit to retrain me on how to lift objects, well and good.

Could anyone pick the fault in this kind of approach? What if the problem was with the tasks being assigned, could it be that the tasks are not safe and need rethinking? Why is the employee always in need of retraining when accidents occur? My lesson from this, any sort of injury will result in my going home and seeing the company doctor. Understand that this is not you family business, unless of course it happens to be. For most of us, we are aren't that lucky to be working in the family business and we can't afford to injure ourselves working for some conglomerate. It simply isn't worth it, trust me I know.

kman productions......................

CSCI205 Final Exam 2005

2005-11-02T20:05:00.000+11:00

Should you find this, please thank your lucky stars of whom ever it 's you pray to. This is the CSCI205 final exam for 2005. How long this can last here is completely unknown, I might get a conscience and delete everything or I might spit the dummy and add more exam questions. You will never see this exams questions anywhere else, the lecturers guard them like trade secrets.

Question 1.
Draw a class diagram of a book, chapter, sections, parts

Question 2
Draw a state diagram of an elevator, the elevator begins @ level 1 and either goes up or down. If the elavator is stationary for a certain period of time, it automatically goes back to level 1.

question 3
multiple choice questions, not too hard

question 4
explain functional requirements
non functional requirements
constraint

question 5
Explain tools
Workbench
Environment

Question 6
Purposes of patterns
General structure of Adapter pattern
General description and properties of Data Flow Diagram models

Kman Productions...............

Who needs them

2005-10-26T12:32:00.000+10:00

Friends, we were told they would help you through life, providing companionship given that we are social beings. Soacial beings? Lets discuss that for a minute, society, socialism, socialise etc. Conjugate a few characters and you get countless words that probably have little in common. What exactly is being social?In my late nights watching the discovey channel as I waited for my all time favourite show Sex and the City, I have learnt that wolves are loners. They prefer to go at it alone and come together during mating season, how lonely we think. Bring in your friend/s depending on what your social meter allows and you get new problem, who can you trust. Are friends of your friends your friends? Do think having many friends is better than having one or two? When do friends cross the line? Can you really trust these people you term as friends? If yes, can they trust and do they trust you?

Trust and friendship, you'd think they are synonymous, but are they. Here's my argument, a few weeks a go a friend invited me to celebrate a birthday. FUN, FUN how often do you have a genuine excuse to dehydrate yourself through dancing (mine is more the jumping up down), for some of us it the only exercise we get. In the course of the night, a 'friend' offers to buy me a drink, now I do enjoy a few on occassion but I declined. RUDE, some might say but we all know what our limits are and responsible serving of alcohol is preached daily. "Playa, I got work tomorrow but thanks anyway", was my response. Now tell me, if you told a friend that, would they
(a) Take a raincheck
(b) Insist on buying you that drink
(c) Walk away mad that you refused a drink.

b was the answer I got then and casually accepted the drink, knowing that it would be irresponsible to consume it. Drink on the table and your 'friend' leaves, what do you do.
(a) Drink it anyway
(b) Offer it to another of your friends that isn't working and wants the drink
(c) wait until your 'friend' leaves and you hide the drink and grab and empty glass

My answer to this particular was trivia was (c) and hope that they wouldn't see that, what a waste of their money. Weeks later the 'friend' tells you that they wanted to get you drunk, and they are your friend. So you tell me, if this is friendship, wouldn't you rather have enemies, at least you know for sure they will not dare get you drunk and make fun of you the next time you meet.

Kman Productions....................................

Communication

2005-10-24T14:52:00.000+10:00

com·mu·ni·cate P Pronunciation Key (k-myn-kt)
v. com·mu·ni·cat·ed, com·mu·ni·cat·ing, com·mu·ni·cates
v. tr.

1. To convey information about; make known; impart: communicated his views to our office.
2. To reveal clearly; manifest: Her disapproval communicated itself in her frown.
To spread (a disease, for example) to others; transmit: a carrier who communicated typhus.

v. intr.

To have an interchange, as of ideas.
To express oneself in such a way that one is readily and clearly understood: “That ability to communicate was strange in a man given to long, awkward silences” (Anthony Lewis).
Ecclesiastical. To receive Communion.
To be connected, one with another: apartments that communicate.

How many of us enjoy listening to Tony Blair give his arguments? We don't have to agree with what he says for us to admit that he is an orator, unlike W (most powerful on the planet). Is eloquence communication? How many of us have workmates that can barely construct a grammaticall correct Engligh sentence, yet we understand what they are trying to say? Is communication the articulation of a subject/topic in a manner that the receiver understands or in a grammatically correct manner? When W, puts his thought before the public, few of us miss what he intends even though he lacks oratory skills. When a job is advetised "good communicator needed", what the hell do they mean. Do they want a person that has a good command of the language or someone that can explain to people in a way the understand?

Have you been in an audience where the speaker has spoken for more than a hour only to realise you have no idea what he/she has been blabbering about in perfect English, panctuation was perfect? Imagine this, I am in a lecture where my lecturer struggles to express the points in English but I understand what they are explaining. Most of the words may not mean much to me but the concepts are well grasped. Who among these two communicated?

Kman productions.............................

If only I could..............

2005-10-18T13:14:00.000+10:00

Have you got moments in your past that you wish you'd change, embarassing stunts you undertook; either by accident or mere stupidity? I do, I hope to compile a list of the most embarassing moments of my life and share them with you, yes every little detail. Nothing about what I have seen others do, however much I'd love to share other people mishaps.

1. How many of you have walked into a glass door? I could have sworn that was air but the concusion I got, signalled otherwise. Even worse was the imprint of my lips I left on the door, damn lip balm.

2. Starbucks, we all love a good cuppa and I am no exeption. Throw in a date and you are bound to get mishaps. It was the second 'date' I was having with a girl I really liked, I was all prepared leather coat, matching shoes, I could have sworn my undies were new too(who knows). The coffee cup lids a secondary small hole, this is for pressure purposes. Physics taught me that hot air expands and if their is no release, pressure builds. There I am, an engineering major with all the knowledge and yet it happened to me. I was nervous and Isaac Netwon, Einstein would be ashamed of me. I had the lid on and in my nervous tantrum blew into the mug, through the drinking hole! Recall the secondary hole, the one for pressure and all that physics nonsense? Foam from the coffee forced itself through the hole and onto my face, yeah I was perfecting my clown gig. What would you do? Here I am trying to impress this feline and MR ENGINEER forgot the basics laws of physics, lucky for me she dated me for another year.

3. You're walking up/down a flight of stairs only to think there is a extra step while there isn't. If your walking up, you tend to feel like an idiot trying to climb a non-existent step. Worse is if your walking down the steps, your hips are compresssed to an extent where you'd rather be shot. Oh did I mention you look ridiculous trying to walk through the floor.

4. Walking into a pole, you're so busy concentrating on more important things when suddenly you fracture your clavicle on. Now am drunk, ciao

5. You think you've seen a pretty woman? Think again, I have had my jaw drop and with that other things dropped too. In my last position, I was the go between customers and the company, kinda the guy that gets all the shit and has to smile back at the customers(customer is always right). On an ordinary day, I was busy building a relay, moving stock from one shelf to another, normal supermarket duties. So this one lady walks towards me, pretty, virtually physically flawles. Mr Supermarket here, I am carrying a few items moving to another location. No sooner had I looked into her eyes than I dropped the items smashing them all. She was so sweet that even offered to help me clean, seeing that she somehow had contributed to the accident. Poor boy, I have since then learnt my lesson, never carry more than your two hands can handle. You never know when this pretty thing might walk in

Kman productions.........................

ECTE333 lab solutions

2005-10-18T11:19:00.000+10:00

In my anguish to decide what to do after my poor performamce in the test today, I have decided to screw the whole school. What if I could publish the solution to the labs that I have done? Those in the School know that these experiments have been th same for the last 5+yrs, make them change and screw every student that comes after us. I could do that or what is I could make it easier for future generation students and provide them with guidlines on how to survive the ECTE333 lab session, score 10/10 and hardly work as sweat? I guess that is what I will do, share the experience and hopefully some poor bugger will have an easier run than I have. Here are the lab questions for 2004, this were exactly what we got in Spring 2005.

code for experiment 1

these are really straight forward and if you can't do these you probably don't deserve code for experiment 3 and 4

code for experiment 2

ADD R3,R3,x1

ADD R4,R4,x2

ST R3,AST R4,B

The complete program would be

.ORIG x3050

LD R3, A

LD R4, B

ADD R3.R3, x1

ADD R4, R4, x2

ST R3, A

ST R4, B

HALT

A .FILL x6

B .FILL Xf

.END

Task 4
Using the same code as above, the stored numbers are multiplied using assembly code.The code used in this experiment was

.ORIG x3050

AND R3, R3, x0

AND R4, R4, x0

AND R5, R5, x0

LD R3, A

LD R4, B

ADD R3, R3, x1

ADD R4, R4, x2

LOOP ADD R5, R5, R4 ; multiplying code 1

ADD R3, R3, x-1 ; multiplying code 2

BRp LOOP

HALT

A .FILL x6

B .FILL Xf

.END

code for experiment 3

task1

#include <80c196kc.h>
/*#include */

int main (void)
{

ioport1=127;

while(1)
{

if(check_bit(ioport2,7))

{

while (ioport1<255)

{ioport1++;}

while (ioport1>0)

{ ioport1--; }
}

else

{ ioport1=127; }

}

task2
I had problems running this piece of code and I really didn't bother trying to debug it, I was running out of time here. I guess with all the info you will get off me, you can't expect uncle kman to give you everything, can you?

#include <80c196kc.h>

#include

#include
void init_hso(void);

void reset_hso(void);

interrupt hso_interrupt(void)
near unsigned long FREQ = 1000;

near unsigned long MARK_SPACE = 50;
near unsigned long count;

near unsigned long run;

near unsigned long run1;
int main()

{

count=1;

make_vec(INTR_HSO,hso_interrupt);

reset_hso();

init_hso();

int_pend = o; /*clear all interrupts*/

int_mask = HSO_ENB; /*enable HSO and software timer interrupts*/

ei();/*enable all interrupts*/

}
void reset_hso(void)

{

ioc = 0xc0; /*clear entire cam and enable locked entries*/

}
void init_hso(void)

{

wsr=15;

timer1=0;

wsr=0;

hso_command = 0x90;

run = (1000000*MARK_SPACE)/(FREQ*100);

printf("%d\n\r",run);

hso_time = run; hso_command = 0x90;

run1 = run +(1000000(100-MARK_SPACE))/(FREQ*100);

printf("%d\n\r",run1);

hso_time = run1;

}

interrupt hso_interrupt(void)

{

if (count == 0)

{

clr_bit(ioport1,0);

count = 1;

}

else

{

set_bit(ioport1,0);

count = 0;

wsr = 15;

timer1 = 0;

wsr = 0;

}

code for experiment 4

task1

#include <80c196kc.h>
/*#include */
int main (void)
{

ioport1=127;

while(1)
{

if(check_bit(ioport2,7))

{

while (ioport1<255)>

{

ioport1++;

}

while (ioport1>0)

{

ioport1--;

}

else

{

ioport1=127;

}

task2

#include<80c196kc.h>

#include
int main()

{

memory= (unsigned char*) 0xffff;

counter = 127;

*memory = counter;

on = 1;
present_s = 0;

prev_s = 1;

while(1)

{

prev_s = present_s;
present_s = check_bit(ioport2,7);

if(prev_s && ! present_s)

on = on* -1;

if(on ==1)

{

while(++counter <255)

{ *memory = counter; }

while(--counter >0)

{ *memory = counter; }

}

else

*memory = 128;

}

If I feel generous enough I may even leave my lab reports for all those who hate doing their work, why work hard when Kman has your back?

Kman Productions.........................

ECTE333

2005-10-18T10:49:00.000+10:00

Only the Lord and I know what happened during my lab test today, now the lecturer knows; I did absolutley nothing! Last night I went through the lab experiments we'd done over the last 13 weeks hoping that something similar would be tested. My reaction was best captured by the CCTV system installed in the lab, FU*&@G, ^U*&@G, FU*&@!, F%*&@G would have the words I'd have used if I was allowed. 50 minutes into a 50 minute test and I hadn't done anyting, well I had written my name and called the sucide help-line a few times. Murder was the first thought and then realizing that I'd get caught, I contemplated suicide for a good 51 minutes. The test is done, I get a zero! I have passed the razor isle in the uni shopping centre and I am yet to decide whether slit wrists are the way out. I can't take another fail, not now, I have come too far and already have a few fails under my belt. Graduation is so close, so so so close, a fail would kill me. Ruin me I say!

Digital hardware 2, not an easy subject and the hundreds of student who have gone through it know the effort it takes to pass that lab test. Last year was so easy, an assemby language to add 3 numbers and store the result in specific registers. Why wouldn't my lecturer give us an easy task too? Had to be a hard, a FUCKED UP test, zero for Kman I say, zero! You probably think you'd have better huh? Here is the question

write a c program to:
a)measure the frequency of the 0-5 V square wave connected to the input of the mice board. (You had an square wave supply from a wishmaker and you had to connect that output to an ioport0(pin 0 ,........pin 6 or pin 7). ioport0 is an input port for the mice board i.e.

b)periodically display the current frequency of the host pc via the RS232 link as an integer, which f multiplied by 0.1 would give the frequency in KHz. Use printf("...........%d/n/r",number)

carpooling

2005-10-15T20:21:00.000+10:00

car·pool (k�rpl)
n. also car pool

An arrangement whereby several participants or their children travel together in one vehicle, the participants sharing the costs and often taking turns as the driver.
A group, as of commuters or parents, participating in a carpool.

Having seen the dictionary version of what carpooling is, let's get to the heart of the matter. Why carpool? Most of the people I have heard converse of this issue have always brought in the idea of pollution and road congestion. Governments have encouraged carpooling especially in the morning hours and certain capacity cars are allowed 'special' lanes; bus lanes. If you have been on public transport, especially in the morning, you can testify to the thrill of moving faster than the general traffic. There is something about being in a huge vehicle (one that can cause havoc in the wrong hands) and being able to.................... So, governments encourage citizens to take public transport into major cities, one because the roads last longer; fewer vehicles, two, the aren't that many parking spots in major cities. Most driver could attest to the trials and temptations of finding a cheap parking spot and retaining their cool. The idea is essentially to rid the roads of too many personal vehicles and that I believe is ok, let's litter the roads with our cars only during the weekend when we are going shopping.

I am waiting at the bus stop, chilling for my ride into Sydney when a lady pull up and offers a lift. Out in the West I have learnt never to accept rides from even the most harmless looking individuals. As if by reflex I increase the volume on my disc man (yeah, no ipod nano yet) and continue cursing as to why I had to rouse so early. So the gentleman pops in and it got me thinking about carpooling. Is the logic that you go picking people from the bus stops when they have opted to leave the rides at home and catch the Sydney Bus? No, but then again they could have been friends and the ride was open so that we don't feel rejected. If that was the case, then what am I writing about?

Kman Productions...................

JUST TIRED

2005-10-12T17:09:00.000+10:00

Apologizing is probably one of the many things I have never been able to do. I don't remember ever uttering the words " I am sorry", while being remorseful. It has always been a routine that after I bump into someone, the norm is uttering " am sorry". I am never sorry and I always believe it's never my fault, the other party was invading my personal space. Forget that rubbish, you sit down and realize that you owe someone an apology but you can't do it. You might lose face! How people perceive me has haunted me for a very long time and even though I have never been a crowd pleaser, I have done things just to fit in. Don't commence the guess work, I can assure you it wasn't murder; I am sure the guy lived. So they tell me anyway.

It's about time we realize we aren't so tough, my biggest fear is appearing vulnerable and I have guarded against this my whole life. "I can't afford to appear weak or lacking", even Superman had kryptonite and he kept it a secret, didn't he? I have grown up believing that being weak is a taboo and saving face is all that matters in life, regardless of who gets hurt. For those who think they know me, guess again, very few people outside my family have any idea of who I am. There is what they see and think they know, but no one has ever bothered to venture further. Friends don't want a weak guy, they need and demand that you be able to sort everything that they throw at you, however awkward it may be. Think again, I aint doing the tough act anymore, I am just tired of being .............

Someone hand me a tissue..................... Oh yeah, you leak this I will break your foot!

Kman Productions..............................

so u like a girl..............

2005-10-10T22:30:00.000+10:00

There is no topic or rational flow in this particular narrative, I will just type as word come to my head. So you like a girl, or you think you do..................................................

Do you remember playing 'swing' on a makeshift swing, rope tied dangerously across a horizontal branch that couldn't hold more than 300N worth of force? I was fortunate enough to have experienced this, the trees in our compoud would have mounted a lawsuit against us given the opportunity; the torture. The goal as kids was to push the boundaries to the limit, our bodies could recover from almost any bruising we subjected to it. On one occasion I remember the swing breaking and the only thing that saved my life and watching Tarzan swing across the forest. The speed of the swinging was such that I felt the tingly effect between my legs (guys know how it feels when you suddenly descent without warning), the branch gives in and you're gone. Am alive, no thanks to myself but I think someone was loking out for me.
How many times as a kid did you engage in playful acts that could have potentially been catastrophic? How many recall the aerosol pressure cans and the little fires we lit to blow thing up? How lethal was that game before the realised kids might die and introduce a plastic plug at the bottom of the can. Once heated the plug would melt and the gaseous content released in a controlled environment, no pressure build up and no cheap firecrackers. "How unfair", I thought.

So you like a girl, like I think I do, what do you do? How long can you wait, how many phone calls can you make before you call it quits? Just words as they come through my brain down my spine onto the finger tips. I am confused and for sure I am not the only one, I could use some help. I don't read minds and I don't play games, actually I don't wonna play games. So, what would you do? You a like a girl/boy for some............................ who am I kidding here? I like a girl, so what?

I give up, am going to bed

Kman Productions...............................

Boy vs Man

2005-10-10T22:04:00.000+10:00

As I grew up, I knew what I wanted to be rather what I wished I would have been, superman. I could fly and always get the pretty girl Lois, but that was just my childish imagination running wild. As an adult, Ia m expected to have rational expectations of what I ought to be and when I plan to be a few years from now. That to is fine but I do find myself caught between these two fantasies, the boyish desire to fly and be a superhero and the manly dream of being a successful engineer with a reputable career. Maybe you want to be a dentist, chemist,business guru or wait for it, in the marines and you get to carry a gun and kill infidels (too many violent video games can do this to you, I know). At what point do you stop dreaming like a child and realise that life is shitty and deals the worst blows when you least expect it? Do you ever sit watching an action movie and after it's over you feel like you have extra powers? You watched a Bruce Lee flick and you felt like you could take on the whole theatre, am I the only one?

You watch Black Hawk Down and the next thing you know your looking for a stick that slightly resembles a gun and you're behind the sofa, dodging imaginary fire while providing cover to your team in the movie (they are mostly Americans, mine are anyway). A grenade is hurled and you yell, "Cover!" before executing the new grenade bucket detonation that you hatched while in 'Lala' land. C'mon people am the only one that slides back to my boyish days when I was invincible, untouchable and most of all I could survive enemy fire for hours without casualties in my team, my execution plan would be flawless. My team always wins, they have to, they are Kman Squad and we have to win.

Now back to real life, why would you want to be in the real life when in your own little world you are happy (or so it appears)? I may never outgrow my boyish dreams, I doubt that is such a bad thing, it's seems to be one release point. I like thinking like a kid on occasion, everything isn't so complicated and you rarely have to pretend to be someone you are not, remember you a superhero and nothing is impossible with your powers. I am an engineering student and as per say people expect me to know things, I like knowing things. However the pressure to know everything is driving me nuts and I am venturing more into my superhero stance more often that before. I am about to graduate, leave formal education for a while, stand and be counted as a contributing force in society and this scares me. Can I still be the shy boy that could put two sentences to express myself, or I doomed to live into adult life for the next 50+ years?

Kman Productions.....................................

You don't fool me!

2005-09-28T20:15:00.000+10:00

It's morning and you hurriedly run for the bus, you slept in and as such breafast is out of the question. What's breakfast compared to and extra 15min of morning sleep? We all know how sweet sleep is an hour before you're due to wake up. If your like me, you purposely set your alarm early for the chance to snooze for those precious 10 minutes. Try setting your alarm an hour earlier and you will enjoy that hour, love it! You've just made it at the bus stop and your haste you trip as you board the bus, no biggie we all do it sometimes. On the bus, you're bound to find people, some are reading, some catching up on sleep (guilty as charged!), some busy scrolling their ipod playlist (walkmans for the older generation), and some just idly gazing into the blue and before staring at you for the whole trip. Let's focus on the readers for now, why is it we think we can defy Newton's laws of motion when we are standing on a bus? We will later comeback these idle staring individuals.

Who doesn't know that an object remains at constant velocity provided there is not external force? Inertia people, I thought suits were signs of intelligence, obviously not. You've seen the guy with harry porter novel, holding for his dear life with one hand, carrying a grocery bag on one and holding the book on the other. Mmmmmh! Last I checked we have a pair of hands, so how does he manage to hold onto the bus overhead rail? I know, place the novel aside until you get a seat. Now that would be common sense, so I'd think. But wait! Let go of the railing and enjoy the book while keeping an eye out for the frozen dinner I will be having tonight. The bus gets to the lights and which abrutply turn red, inertia politely obliges and you're flying through the isle, bowling into everybody else. "I am so very sorry", is all you can fathom.

Are you sorry? You know you should hold on when your standing and what so captivating in those pages that your teeth are expendible? Hold on buster, I am not your restraint and next time you bump into me you will lose your "precious".

Kman Productions...............................

Milk please

2005-09-26T19:26:00.000+10:00

Back in high school, I took biology and I don't mind saying I was quite the nerd in the subject. Mathematics to this day has been my worst subject, oh wait! Programming has crept to be my nightmare, dragging me behind even on campus, I'd have graduated by now. God-damn programming, that was before I discovered........................(highly illegal stuff). Back to my love for biology, I should have taken Medicine, been a doctor, too late now and I love my new found hobby; spending all my life in Uni.

The human body as we should be aware requires 'food' to function normally, common sense I'd assume. Back in my days, we used to have chips/French fries for most of the week and we did fine, didn't get ill at all and most of all didn't gain weight. Back then, milk was milk from a damn cow and was full cream. Fast forward to 2005 and I get confused when I go shopping,

low fat
no fat
98% fat
full cream
25% fat
omega
A2 (now)
lactose free
SOY GOD_DAMN MILK eew!

More like soy juice but we all know SOY JUICE wouldn't sell so we had to call it SOY MILK to appeal more to our health conscious buddies. Ice cream too has taken on these many faces, full cream, low fat, shit you know the thousands of options we have. Back to milk and soy juice, are there people that still drink whole milk or have we all converted to 'milk' that really isn't quite milk. Nutritionists have urged us to watch what we consume and for the skinny few left (I included), we can no longer enjoy a full fat meat, without that guilty feeling . How much milk would one be consuming gain weight? How do you gain weight from milk in the first place? Are we that lazy that a couple of glasses of milk a week will raise our obesity probability?

Could we be sucking too much on candy that we think milk is the culprit? Think for a moment, anybody that is trying out on anything other than full cream could testify to the repulsive, almost cardboard taste. Jesus people! How long must I go shopping in the dark so that you don't stare at my shopping trolley? Full cream milk, full cream Ice-cream, coke (not diet!), white bread, white rice, white pasta.

Oh! That is not good for you, try whole meal pasta, rice, whole-grain bread, chew on dried fruit (what in the hell!), drink 8 glasses of water and don't drink off the tap but buy it(mmh, go figure), have a salad for lunch (I need the energy, grass will not do it), fresh juice (no cordial), no junk food(what what about the colonel, Ronny & Jack?). What is the purpose of living if you can't indulge in some of life's adventures (eat whatever)? Someone tell this pricks to eat well really enjoy themselves, I doubt it. Can't you enjoy wnjoy what you eat, gotta make those funny faces eew! Just because it's good for you doesn't mean we live on it, coffe can be beneficial too. Would that mean consuming gallons of it daily, who eats anough ice cream in one sitting to get fat? Anyone eating that amount of ice cream will get fat even though they eat grass, damn ratio is what counts, not whether it's 0.00000001 fat content. I can't cook food in my house without calculating the grams of fat in the oil, damn 2 tea spoons of oil and am still concerned. People!

I am all for healthy living but living your life to the very fibre and calorie is messed up.( I could use more figurative words but not today). Why would we have kidneys and a liver? Does my memory fail me or aren't these organs there for a reason? Dying at 80 with kidneys of a 20 year old, what's the point. Maybe if we steered off the sun as much as we do fat, we might not have leather like skin in our 40s.

Only and idiot buys a 250mile/hr car in a 80mile/hr speed limit country, I'd think that applies to those 'nutritionists' urging us all to venture into TOFU land. Someone shove a pencil down my throat, tofu in place of meat? SOY BURGERS, SOY SAUSAGES, SOY MILK, SOY EVERYTHING. What is wrong with meat?

OOOOOOOH! Dare you buy meat, you animal! They should be killed humanely, it's a goat, cow, zebra etc Oh! I forgot they too have rights, OOPS! Exercise people, leave the car at home and enjoy full cream and you will never go back to that salad eating and calorie counting shitty routine you call eating. But OOH NO! SOY is the new black, black this! (middle finger salutes you).

Kman Productions.............................................

Concentrate boy

2005-09-26T12:19:00.000+10:00

Why do I always slide in silly idiotic sentences in my conversations with a girl? You meet a girl, you like her, the conversation begins. Nervous as you are you manage to hold your cool for a few minutes, the crucial minutes I might say. After a while you are relaxed and the conversation flows for a while and while you wind things through, you say something stupid! Let me embarrass myself and maybe help some poor brothers out there, here's what I managed to slide through the conversation "Are you high maintainance", what!!!! Yeah, my jaw dropped and there is no comeback from that fellows. Allow me to elaborate what my intentions were, I was planning of a dinner sometime, nothing major but a get to know dinner. Nervous, and fearing a no I wasn't sure how to put it forward, common I'd say given the situation. Ideally my question was to find out what sort of restaurant would be appropriate, so how did I think of high maintenance?

Let's face it, sometimes you loose your cool when confronted by a pretty face; I know I have. So is there a comeback from something this silly,idiotic and potentially breaking? I don't know, so far the dinner is still set and I am yet to decide on a restaurant; never the bar to high boys. I am in no shape or position to give advise on this one fellows, only time will tell. However, focus before you say anything, try and think before you say anything and if she likes you she might ignore the stupid things you say. Who knows?
Kman Productions.................

I will call you

2005-09-17T23:05:00.000+10:00

You apply for the job, attend the interview and then they tell you that they will call you. Now, if your like me, you can already tell that you didn't get that job and aren't too eager for the call. However there are times when you think you've aced the interview and expect that call anytime over the next week. Let's play the waiting game, on the home team potential employer, the challenger little old you. It's time you realise the employer can do without you and there are better people than you everywhere you go. This attitude helps you accept that rejection email they send you, the bastards could even bother printing the rejection.
We acknowledge your interests and expertise.....but those chosen have potrayed more ......., basically this is equivalent to, "you suck, loser! L-O-S-E-R! Take heart my son/ daughter/ niece/ nephew (gotta be politically correct in this era) there is a loser worse than you.

Now comes the worse part, one of your new found mates signals that they will call you. Yeah right! Again if your like me, you'd expect the call within the next 2 days and every minute after that you can hear the phone ring; the one in your head. Why the heck did they mention they were gonna call and didn't? Ever sat by the phone like a baffon waiting for that call, 1,2,3,4 hours only to realise you didn't have to cancel going window shopping (dress well and go to the ridiculousy overpriced stores, jeans shorts for $200). You'd imagine these pants would wash themselves and air themselves and while in the house do the dishes and dust the house, mmh! to be cont................
Kman productions..............

New world order

2005-09-12T19:22:00.000+10:00

Words can't explain this one;liquid gold indeed.

Social Madness

2005-09-08T22:54:00.000+10:00

"These days there is nothing educational on TV", "Oh there is so much rubbish on TV", "I don't let my kids watch TV past these time". Parents venting out against the family unfriendly enviroment they feel the current broadcasting companies have taken. In a free society where the masses determine what is to be aired, educational shows may not make the cut. Documentaries are being run with the aim of proving that this generation is more violent that the previous lot. Psychologists have mentioned that we ape what we see and the shows and movies produced encourage violence. The current graphics on most games are as real as they get anything better you'd be on the battle line itself.
The question posed is whether the govt. is responsible for the 'rubbish' that makes it to the air? Should we be deprived our daily dose of violence just because some kid might imitate what he/she saw the night before on Buffy the Vampire Slayer? My favourite was Rambo, I remember those wooded guns. I know they didn't resemble anything close to a gun but to us that was as close as it got. Along came William Tell, the cross-bow season had arrived and we did build our version of these deadly weapon. Somehow we managed to get the equipment to design an almost replica of the weapon and target practice was inevitable. At this age I hadn't completely mastered weaponry and mistakes did occur in our preparation. After being satisfied our craftsmanship was adequate, we loaded the cross-bow and before long my eye was the target. Unfortunately for me we didn't have a safety switch on our version of the weapon and a slight change in the wind was enough fire the arrow.
Ignorance is in every child and I could have lost an eye but should the government have banned such shows? Why did my parents let me watch the shows if they were afraid of the violence I might learn and practice? Remember the former WWF (wrestling)? My little brother was the victim of many Tomb-stone manouvers; thank God nothing happened to him. Now that I think of it there is less violence than during my days and maybe there should be a limit to the violence. I've had near misses with my kid brother as I tried to imitate my hero; Bret the Hitman Heart, even my mother loved him. Bret was 'sexy' so they claim and I wanted to be just like him, poor little brother had to be my victim. I surely think parents are responsible for what their kids watch and in democratic society unfortunately the corporate giants rule the waves not the protective parents. You think there is rubbish on TV, get your kids books and let the masses have their daily intake of violence.

Kman Productions..................................................

nod of death

2005-09-07T19:54:00.000+10:00

Your on the bus and after a long day dozing will generally be considered natural, pity the fool that hits his/her head the railing. I have the bad habit of obvserving people as they nod and come into close proximity of knocking a few teeth loose or sustaining bruises on their heads. Call me a sadist (I have been labled that for many years, no biggie!) but regardless of how miserable you are you will get a laugh and hopefully cheer up for a few minutes. The gentleman infront of me on the bus was a typical example of a man under fatigue, Ipod on and laptop on his lap and of course the doze that could possibly leave him with a concusion. Slightly embarasing for the lady next to him because on more than one occasion he made it to her bossom, what sight to wake up to (however inappropriate this may have been for him).
Why is it that we can never bang our heads on even when we are in deep sleep (Most people that is, I have bruised myself on many occassion at home), just when you are about to plunge to your death you wake up (even though only momentariry, enough to get you back to the upright position). This time another attempt is made to see how far you will go before you reset your neck and general body position upright. I'd suggest a harness for those of us who sometimes will fall victim to fatigue and we all know motion is dizzying if not a lullaby. I am one of those who are better of the driver's seat because the minute I am in motion I am dead asleep in 10 minutes and accidents then would need an excuse to follow moi. Hence I don't drive, but I will be behind the wheel by the end of year. I am working on the caffeine injection design that will keep me alert as long as am driving. Maybe a pebble on the seat might do the trick, don't you hate pebbles in your shoes? They always let you know they are there, but how the hell do they get there?
Kman Productions.............

Parenting & Hurricane

2005-09-07T13:47:00.000+10:00

Could parenting be taught in colleges? I don't think so but I think some parents need the boot, straight up the rear end. My trip to Uni was rather frustrating and annoying, children scream and the guardian (father I'd assume did nothing). True there are those kids that might be beyond help and the only out for the parents is Jim Beam or Scotch but this was beyond me. How is it that 2 children can drive a whole carriage of adults insane and none of us says anything? If it only these were my days, these kids would have received a good spank; and the journey would have been peaceful.

I have to admit that kids will always have extra energy and it's hard for most parents to keep up, especially with most parents trying to shed a few pounds and going on crush diets. How about dedicate a few carriages to the screaming and the hearing impaired, maybe one for the smelly ones (have u been caught unaware by some poor homeless dude in your carriage?) and maybe for one for people like me (whinging our lives away).

On a more serious note, I assume parents now are having a harder time raising their kids with all these regulations from the government. Should parents not comply, they risk having their children put in foster care. Has anyone ever scrutinised these foster homes? Some breed thugs and I doubt majority of the kids are better off. Sure there are people who aren't fit to live let alone be parents but it's absurd how the legislation is used to monitor parenting.

I was whinging about noisy kids but obviously that has been lost in the midst of more whinging. Hurricane Katrina surely has the world questioning the American response, in the movies did we have them immobilise search and rescue in a matter of hours? I remember very well in the Volcano Tommy Lee was there guiding the evacuation, even worse this was a volcano under the city and no one was sure what would happen. A hurricane warning is given and people still remain in their homes, silly, optimistic or plain arrogant? Media coverage has been unprecedented but why is less being done than during the Tsunami?

Citizens of other countries are blaming their own governments of doing little to rescue their fellow citizens. Australians too have fallen in this government blame-shifting tactic that has seen their government take defensive action. The opposition leader has bee quoted to have said that their diplomats and government troops should jump American helicopters to rescue Australians. Would anyone doubt the intellect of such utterings, break American laws to rescue people who ignored the warnings. They are tourists who opted to experience natures thrill ride, and you want to jeopardise international relations to rescue them? Would you leave the other foreign citizens behind? Oh! I see, each man for himself

Kman productions..............

Africans, Worth anything?

2005-09-07T00:02:00.000+10:00

What characterizes genocide and how many deaths are acceptable before international intervention is expected? Sure we should learn to be self sufficient, how else do we develop as a people? Ethnic cleansing has been used in many regions of Africa,to get a super race or tribe. Hitler's idea was to rid the world of inferior races, just lie some African groups have done. Rent Hotel Rwanda and it becomes apparent how much an African life is worth in times of conflict.
Who are Africans to turn to when their own people decide they are not worth of living? Could this explain why so many in the continent are religious and believe in God. Let's face it, many have no one to believe in, they have seen the atrocities man has unleashed on his own people. Read the papers and everyday there is civil war in some part of Africa,my homeland. Tears of the Sun,Hotel Rwanda and many more titles give an idea of the plight of Africa. However, as much as they are aimed at the box office, some truth about Africa is evident. A continent that needs more than prayers and donations, we need change and and I don't know how this will come about.
Kman Productions......................

Never ending Story

2005-09-05T15:14:00.000+10:00

Ten years ago talking to a girl without popping a blood vessel was unimaginable, remember the sweaty palms and tremble? Yeah well maybe for you it was when you were 10, actually then I was more concerned with girl germs than anything else. The all to familiar wiping a seat to avoid getting infected, coming to think it I more like 8 years old. Eew! He was talking to a girl, YUCK! Fast forward, some 14 years later and you couldn't wait to ................................

Anyway I thought I'd out-grow some of these silly traits, getting nervous, sweaty palms (give me a sec as I wring my keyboard), lose of words,eagerness etc. Is it still normal to get nervous? I'd have thought that was boyish behaviour in our adolescence years, remember the breaking voice? My favouite was beginning a conversation in low bass and halfway through you've stepped through tones never discoverd before;never thought my vocals could go that high. Before you know it, they are hot women walking around you (previously germ ridden, now they are HOT!). I vividly remember that phase, the beginning of designer clothes collections (didn't care when mum got the money, I wanted them). Nothing has changed, I still want designer clothes and maybe the biggest step has been I pay for them. Remember telling mum, "I hate you?", just because she couldn't afford to feed you and satisfy Tommy Hilfiger cravings, that was when I converted to NIKE (just do it convert) much cheaper I thought.

Here I am, just like a ten year old nervous that I am about to call a girl. The usual signs are their, I have the paramedics on stand-by, my brown bag just incase I hyperventilate. Whos idea was it to have a brown bag that you breathe in when you get nervous? Logically you will be inhaling more C02 than normal, result? MORE HYPERVENTILATION! Back to my little ordeal here, the clock is ticking and I will dial eventually. Mouthful of scotch may help but then it may slur speech too, maybe a mouthful of water, parched throat is another sign of nervousness and could spell disaster.Even got the shakes now, that could be from heavy drinking too (only problem I never drink that much or that often either).

Glad to see these things may never change and as years pass by even though I am more confident, the rush is still there. 'Kinda' ok because it ups the stakes slightly, if I blow this it's back to more studying and trying to build a linux server (personally am kinda tired of the latter). I'd say the stakes are way up there, wouldn't you?

Kman Productions.........................
PS
I know this narrative is incoherent, if you haven't realised it by now am quite edgy and jumpy today.Dreading that phone call in 30 min,I need to change my jumper soon; sweaty as can be.Thank goodness for cotton and deodrant, don't know what I'd do..........

Igorance & statistics

2005-08-29T22:28:00.000+10:00

Everyday I read in the papers that a new study has found that ........... is bad for your long term health and ............... can improve on your metabolism etc etc. With these readings I also find statistical findings claiming to support the findings, 23% (NOT REAL FIGURE) chance that if eat hot chips when your young (0-5yrs) your risk of getting breast cancer will increase. I hope you get the idea I am trying to portray, findings are scaring the hell out of ordinary citizens who don't understand the law of numbers; and this scares the hell out of me.

Take for example if there is a 3% chance that a man will get testicular cancer (God forbid), he is told that eating beans or wearing boxers shorts will reduce this risk by 30% (bare with me people). What do you think is the chance that he will get testicular cancer after following this regime recommended? Lost huh? The 30% chance of avoiding cancer has you fooled I'd imagine, maybe your thinking he isn't going to get the cancer. I'd think there is a 2.1% chance that he will get the cancer anyway. Let's put this in context of 100 men, 3 will get the cancer and if they wear boxer shorts or eat beans 2.1 men may get the cancer anyway. From 3 to 2.1 men, well we’ve almost saved a human being (0.9) but these % are just from the top of my head.

Next time you read of a new diet or regime that could half your chance of contracting some illness do the math before embarking on it.

Remembers, numbers don't lie and your better off doing the math too and not just accepting as gospel what the 'experts’ tell you. I question everything I am told and want evidence and hence I am a pain in many people's butt but I love numbers and hopefully you too can try to know them. Most people I know don't push like I do and those that do will know how cynical life can get and we may criticize everything we are told (I know I do). The earth is flat and you could fall off the edge if you travel to the far ends of the earth. Remember this theory? Question most things if not everything, just don't do it like I do or you will never believe everything and you will have fewer friends; not good either.
Kman productions...............
Grab a paper next time you are out and add the numbers up and you'll be surprised how little new information most of these statistical findings have to offer. If you’re gullible then am sorry there isn't much I say, ask someone who knows.

first kiss

2005-08-28T16:40:00.000+10:00

KMAN AND ............ K-I-S-S-I-N-G-I-N-G out in the field....... Oh, if you thought I was gonna tell, think again. These are the treasured memories never to be shared, I will take them to my death bed, hehe
Kman-productions..........................

first shower

2005-08-24T23:44:00.000+10:00

After day 1 I didn't make it to the showers for another 2 days, I'd watched too many jail oriented movies. I wasn't going to be anybody's bitch either, turns out it didn't happen. Imagine being used to hot water all your life and the privacy of your own bathroom, one that locks and then one day all you have are cubicles. No curtains to hide your ass, well it wasn't much of a shower, more like jumping to miss the freezing the water or heat up. I can bet you they were testing the effects of cold water on us, that water was colder than that in my fridge at home. With this in mind it was no surprise my first session was met with fewer than 100 showers, one every 2 days. 3rd-4th years I took them twice a day, I guess I was compensating for those I'd missed in first year. I still can't shower in a public area, oh yeah it's not what you think. Packaging comes well recommended if you get the drift, hint! Hint! Some things shouldn't be done in public and showering is one of them, am tired of those old, fat men in the gym that walk around naked in the locker rooms.

Hello! Loose the beer gut and the wrinkly willy wonka before waving the ‘magic’ wand at me. Imagine my shock walking into the shower area and all I saw was ass, male ass. JESUS! How did we remain straight after seeing that much ass? Could explain why I can't stand seeing men undress, I had my fair share of it in NJiiri High School; hell on earth. I also built tolerance for more diseases than I want to recall, filthy place that was; education was great though. Oh! One positive was finding my English teacher to be hot, there weren't that many ladies around so one could only admire staff. Actually we later became friends, after I graduated of course; genuine friends none of that teacher's pet nonsense I now see in the media. We did get girls visiting but I was more like a nerd and couldn't construct two sentences without chocking or 'hyperventilating'. Speaking of which I got a NO the other day from a girl, put me where I should be. I was getting to cocky and it was time for a "no I want nothing to do with you".

Kinda puts things in perspective for me, "you aren’t as hot as you thought you were kman". Anyway back to my high school hell

Kman Productions...................

first day

2005-08-24T20:27:00.000+10:00

The end of 1995 was supposed to mark what I thought was the end of the world, date November 13-16. Apparently these dates were to determine the rest of my life; so they told me. Nothing like sitting for your last primary school exam, no more studying; ever! Guess what? I’m still studying, 8 years after I swore to abandon my books. We were naive and we thought this marked the end of books, boy were we wrong. The following year I got a place in a good school (according to my parents that is), NJiiri High School was to mould me for the future (yeah right!).

My first day was full of excitement and adrenaline freely flowed through my vessels, why would I be excitement? I was going to high school, boarding school for that matter and parental supervision would be minimal if any at all. FREEDOM from anything adult

I get to school and my mother is given the grand tour of the institution after signing my life away for 4 years. I had never shed a tear because of being alone and without mama to protect me; I shed one or two before sucking it all up. Sure I had been caned before and tears had flown freely but this was a sad day when I felt alone. As the 4WD pulled out of the compound my heart sank, I realise that my mother was gone and I would be stuck here for the next 4 years. She was all I had and I thought she had abandoned me when I needed her the most, little did I know this was called growing up. Something I am still learning to this day

The events that followed that night earned the respect I needed to survive the next 4 years. Bastardization was ripe then and I believe it was common place in most boarding schools if not all; we had to grow up some day. I weighed in about 50 kilos and was quite skinny even for my age, I could never be big enough to defend myself in a fight. Perception is everything and even I knew that, getting into a fight the night wasn't part of my plan but it worked for me. The bully was in his 3rd year of high school and had a reputation for harrasing juniors, this was just routine for him. Comes up to my window ans asks who I was and I replied in a very rude manner, well that's what the other freshmen thought. Shaking in their boots they hadn't seen a tough freashy like me, I wasn't about to disappoint either. Remember my skinny frame, this guy was well over twice my weight and she could have killed if he wanted.

My rude answer earned me a punch in the gut, this is when all your fears grip you and you either wet your pants or fight back. I was no punk but I knew I would get creamed if I fought him fair, I didn't get to that school by being dumb either. He was on the other side of the window so I hit back, he wasn't expecting it and I landed a clean hit on the face. I knew then I wouldn't make past the first night and that I had messed with the nut of the nuts, he simply walked away. The 'freshies' mouths agape stared at me, their new hero saviour of the first year students. If only the knew that my bladder and long given way and thank God gravity wasn't working on that day. I am suprised I did wet myself, I was scared but I guess the bully was more surprised than afraid of the new kid. All hail Kman

Take me back to the same night and I would probably have chickened out and coped abuse for the next whole year. It turns out I was respected even among the seniors; Bravery you ask? NO STUPIDITY and one too many Bruce Lee flicks, for your information the young fellow was later suspended on seperate offences.

Kman Productions

Child Play

2005-08-23T19:36:00.000+10:00

Lets face it, am doomed to spend the remaining 65yrs of my life infront of a computer. The weird thing is that somehow I draw solace in that notion, sick huh? New look is still in my head and as soon as I can put it on computer, the blog will have the new look I concieved ages ago.

Part of child's play is sticking objects in your mouth and I was no exception nor did I luck the skills required to entertain myself. As I grew older you'd have thought I might let go of this dangerous habit but I didn't and alsmost paid a heavy price for my late blooming. The year is unclear but the incident still raises alarm in my being, what woud have become of me if ..................

Let's set the scene, imagine being in school and full of energy maybe after one to many cordial drinks. I was a hyperactive kid in my own sense and this day wasn't going to be different. There I was after lunch getting ready for the afternoon class, only thing is I had a ruler in my mouth. Did I mention I was trying to be a nerd? Oh and yes I know nerds don't use rulers but we weren't allowed to se calculators then. Rulers are dangerous, especially when you shove them in your mouth and engage in a mini-world record sprint in class. New age relay, where the stick is no longer held by hand but in your mouth. Picture another young boy twice my weight running straight for you only he doesn't see you and worse of all neither do you. To this day I have never understood why I was racing in class and can't quite figure out why he too was running. Lee ran straight into me, coughing up blood was the next sensible thing given that half the ruler was jammed down my throat.

The pain was nothing compared to what I feared my mother would do to me if she found out it was self inflicted. There are many activities I have shied away from because of mama's wrath, can't blame her she had to be tough. There I am coughing up blood and all I can think about was how uncool I looked infront of my classmates. Kids! Am sure I needed some medical attention but rinsing my mouth with water would do it for me. I had a reputation to uphold for being tough. For all I know I could have cause damage but being cool was paramount and I can bet no of my classmates would recall the near fatal accident I had. Lee felt bad that for the next few weeks he would offer to swap lunch with me. Irony of matter was he was more scared his parents and lunch was his way of bribing me, keep thing under wrap. If only he knew I couldn't eat solids food for a while and I wasn't about to spill the beans on him. I squeal and we are done for
kman productions...............................

Good to be back after a few weeks of quiet time

Time Off

2005-08-04T22:10:00.000+10:00

Regulars viewers will notice that the previous few blogs haven't been up to scratch and I think I need some time off. I have had a few stressful days and it's only wise I seize blogging for a while, that is unless something interesting happens. I am also thinking of changing the genral out look of the blog and personalise it, make it easier to navigate maybe more graphics. I don't know how long the new design will take and what the cost will be, I might loose everything as I try to migrate to the new template; price for change. Enjoy and take care people and thanks for the support, been great to pour my mind and can't wait to come back ,refreshed.

Kman Productions.............

too metro?

2005-08-04T00:40:00.000+10:00

We've all heard of the term metro-sexual being used to describe the new age man that likes to take extra care of themselves. Generally we know that we guys don't really like the grooming aspect of social lives and in most cases would prefer to wear the same pants we wore ten years ago. I guess it is just part of the make up of many men, not me. I have been cursed and blessed all in one, living with women since a very young age;5. It's one thing to grow to chose to be neat and well groomed but it is entirely different if it's forced on you by 'well wishers'. I doubt there is anything I haven't seen as far as women fashion is concerned, I remember the MC Hammer pants and boy did I hate them, I tried them on and never again (Ops! that was a secret though, damn). At the tender age of 12 I knew all about deodrant even though I hadn't began to perspire like a man. Kids really don't sweat that much unless it's during lunch time sport or when trying evade the neighbours hound. All the same I was well aware that roll-on existed even though it would serve me no purpose, not for another 2.5yrs. What can I say I am late bloomer, didn't begin shaving until about last year. For crying out loud first real shave at around 23 years of age? Then they dare convince me that I am lucky to have avoided the curse of facial hair, I think not. In high school most of my mates were spotting full grown beards while I was still the "baby's ass" face, smooth as a whistle.

It can be daunting having all your mates shave and there you are still playing with action figures, I couldn't shave so I had to kill time. The morning ritual was simple, get into the bath and instead of shaving I would try and drown captain planet. For most of the time I felt like an idiot but now I finally understand that I was the lucky one. The only problem is that now I have to shave every month or so, sometimes two months but then I feel that the .005mm of facial hair is denying me of vital nutrients. We wouldn't want all the healthy stuff being used to grow one strand of hair would we. Now the hair on my head is another story, grows like it's paying penance for my chin and cheeks. Ruthless hair growth has been recorded in the history of barbar visits, very 2-3 weeks I will visit one.

Women in the house and I have picked up on the essential aspects of perfect grooming, I even enjoy shopping. Shouldn't I be out in the field breaking my colar bone or fracturing my ribs or jaw? I even have a wider collection of shoes than my sister and I might be fast approaching my mother mark, given ample time and higher pay I will one day have the biggest footware collection. It's a pity men's shoes are expensive, nothing good is less than $100 and you can imagine the bank balance after a shoe buying spree. I guess that is the only real reason I haven't got 30+ pairs like mama does but am getting there, sooner than expected.

If shoes aren't enough, I have also realised that I am fond of cologne and as you would know they don't come cheap either. I just don't get the obsession with personal grooming and am thinking it's partially because I saw this happen in my house for as long as I can remember. Paps wasn't there for most of the childhood so I guess the ladies left their mark, mom aunties and second cousins all of whom were women too. Is it a wonder that before I leave the house I will have checked myself in the mirror at least 3 times and I know it doesn't help that I have mild OC behaviour. I don't mind shaking hands so long as it's nt guys, they just will not wash their hands anymore. Could explain why M Jackson wore the glove all too often.

Oh! One last thing, I have just realised I have hand lotion, body lotion and facial lotion even 2 types of lip-balm.Call them metro, I would be more of the gay type but loves women. I guess the proof would be my room, I hate cleaning it proof am straight just too fussy.

Kman Productions.................................

I need a Woman

2005-08-01T19:09:00.000+10:00

Tired of attending gatherings only to realise that you're the only single person? Welcome to my world, kinda strange when all your buddies are married or seeing someone. My new resolution is to stop searching, and sit back and relax. Why go looking when I can have posters made and posted all over the Sydney streets? All I need is a good photographer to capture the 'real' me and then have myself plastered in Sydney. Easy and Simple!Or should it be Simple and Easy? The only problem might be that the real me is a 14 year old boy trapped in the body of a 24 year old boy. Oh I realised that I was growing old when people started referring to me as "sir". "Sir, may I get you........ Sir would you like". What just happened here, one minute am the boy with a breaking voice the next am being called sir.

I think it might time I try and behave like an adult, but then again am a kid. Now do you see my dilemma, one of the reasons I prefer to remain single. However we all know of that biological clock we always hear about, mine probably has 3 months worth of life. 3 months to find a woman, crazy? I think so too. Did I mention I love single life?

Kman Productions..............

I hate you!!!

2005-07-30T22:07:00.000+10:00

After a shower it's customary or courteous to rid the bathroom of hair that may have been shed. It's very natural for some people to have hair from all parts of their bodies to somewhat its way onto the tub/floor. In our case we have a tub and the shower head is also in the tub, typical apartments in the northen beaches. Without sounding judgmental what sort of person has a shower, dries themselves and leave the bath tub crawling with hair; don't even wonna know where from? Is this happening in other houses or am I stuck with one untidy SOB? Seriously women are meant to be the role models of cleanliness and at least 3 times a week I have to rinse the damn tub myself. How do you tell someone to wash their bloody hair away as they finish their business in the tub? Last I checked I didn't shed hair, razors are sold for a reason I believe. Trimming body hair where possible should be made compulsory, pity Bob Carr quit;we'd have had it into state law before 2006.

My sister too has had her share of having to rid the tub of hair and she has almost but lost her mind; wouldn't blame her would we. I guess you're wondering who the ape in the house is huh? Read the previous blog and you may have an inclination as to who is currently on my shit list. Apparently her stay was meant to be short-lived but that is over a year ago, one can't help but wonder how many more months of this shit we are gonna endure. Shedding hair isn't as bad as living with your niece and nephew and having them pick up all the house bills and clean after you. We too are all college students with part time jobs and are time poor, I doubt nursing is more stressful than Computer Engineering. Doing dishes appears to be asking too much, she claims to be too tired from work she doesn't like to cook either; try eating extra food you goon. If we too could avoid cooking we would, we don't survive on half apples and SAO crackers with lettuce so we have to cook. We all work and being tired is no excuse, you bread crumb! This is a month of anger I think, I am hoping that next month is better or I might cross the line as far as blogs are concerned. I'd hate to..................(I might break the keypad on my computer, am mad!). Now you know what I hate, maybe hate is too strong a word maybe not....... I have to end this before I slit her throat. Argh!

Kman Productions..................

Half of Everything

2005-07-30T21:16:00.000+10:00

Last couple of posts I have touched slightly on the numerous diets I've seen and this post will not disappoint; I hope not. My aunt has taken the meaning of dieting to a new level, starvation is an understatement. I know that Weight Watchers has a points system where clients are advised not to exceed, depending on their weight and expectations. Here is a statement has me wondering if we are housing an anorexic, "Carrot juice is making fat"! Allow me to explain, a juicer was purchased and for a while we enjoyed fresh juice. I didn't mind it at all, I actually got to try some of the best drinks I have had in ages. I had carrot, apple,orange with a touch of ginger and boy was that good. The carrot juice has a distinct flavour and with the right proportion you will enjoy it better than Boost ones. Now recall "carrot juice is making me fat"? That was my auntie after a few weeks of having nothing but carrot juice, I am shot of stuffing a 1/4 pounder down her throughout.

Here is a typical day for her

Breakfast:tea, touch of milk
Lunch: one sushi roll, if ur lucky mostly it's a small tub of watermelon
Afternoon Tea: smoothie (no idea what sort of smoothie)
Dinner: a small bowl of whatever (imagine the size of a cheese bugger, half that)

I am probably biased because this sort of dieting has me criticizing everything she eats but is this normal for a 30+ woman? Is this sort of lifestyle what dieticians are advising clients take up? Rewind 2-3 years ago, she weighed about 60-65max (ball-park figure). I understand that for a woman this is rather heavy especially with a height of about 5'7 ( I could be wrong here). Shocked yet? Did I mention that with her cup of tea she will throw in half and apple, I am assuming a full will make her fat too. So we wake up in the morning to find half an apple in the fridge and a week later it's still there. I am baffled at this extent of trying to look good, then again am a guy and have never had a weight problem. I guess Angelina Jolie's good looks (yeah am floored by her, love her hehe) aren't achieved through hard work but from malnutrition. The next diet regime as sure will be a couple of months in Africa or another 3rd world country where food is a luxury.

With the half apple there are trace of half bananas and basically half of everything fruits more so, I am surprised I haven't seen half a kiwi fruit. Anytime my sister or I cook we try our lever best make the meal balanced but we are not there counting by grams the amount of fat we are ingesting, we are very healthy; again i.e. if my sis gets her tooth pulled. That seems to be her only health problem, she has always had dental problems. I remember when all her teeth were rotten to the core, God she will kill me for saying this. Lucky for her this were her milk teeth, after they fell she got pearly whites that even I am jealous of.

Let's focus on my aunt's diet for a bit longer, imagine a skeleton structure and then add skin to it and a bit of muscle;just enough to perform basic movement routines. That is the sight I am forced to witness almost everyday, we are kicking her out soon; rebellion time. Mum left us the house and I think we should get rid of this pain in the ass dieting freak (yeah I know she's my aunt). So whenever she cooks, change that! If she cooks, all she makes is lentil soup what the hell is this people? I might not be seeing the essence of this looks but I think this is a mental problem and 'institutionalizing' might be the option. There are rehab centers for anorexic people am sure of that, maybe she ought to see a shrink. What sort of person doesn't go out because they are going to eat rubbish? This is the same person who has had a cold for the last 5 weeks and no amount of drugs seem to work, duh! Let me confess, should she contract a disease requiring hospitalization she may not recover.

I am tired of this rubbish and this too is the last I mention of this topic diets, there are better things to talk about. Oh! Am buying a camera with my tax returns, that is unless Costello demands I repay the coffers, I hope not. Have a carroty day and remember they too can make you fat, making matters worse we are talking of a nursing student. On our bad fat charts add carrots below the quater pounder and just above KFC, yum yum and I think am having tomorrow for lunch; not carrot juice! Cell physiology studies are the basic courses you undertake, I'd think.

Kman Productions...........................

War Of the Chupa Chups

2005-07-29T19:39:00.000+10:00

I have finally become a vandal; all in the name Starburst babies (sweets). I am at North Wollongong train station waiting for my train to Sydney, can’t stand anymore of that town. Pity I have to be there for another 1.5yrs, then bounce and might not even return for my graduation. I had just come from a supplementary test that would determine whether I get a vacation home or not. If I pass this test I am all but set to catch the next flight out of the country after the spring session, 11 weeks from now. North Wollongong train station has the usual unreliable vending machines designed by Henry VIII back in the 2^nd century. You put your money and you’ll be lucky if you actually anything, I’d rather get a coke instead of a sprite than getting nothing at all. Today was no exception and I put in my precious $3.10 for my lollies, the spring rolls and just when the bag is about the fall into the shoot, you guessed it! Damn! I am not going to kick this machine and nor am I wasting my precious money calling their customer service demanding 3100cents.

The only thing I could do was watch as my bag of lollies teases me, millimeters from the falling. Obviously the people standing next to me are more experience because one of the girls there offered to kick the hell out of the vending machine. It’s not often that people offer assistance and I generally decline, I was gonna take care of this my way. Violence isn’t the answer and I have tried to live by that code for many years, “to kick or not to kick”. I wonder what Shakespeare would do in this situation; I forgot my WWJD bands at home so I wasn’t waiting for help from that avenue. Screw it, right above me was the CCTV camera and I am sure there is going to be a man hunt tomorrow and hence I am not resuming college until the heat cools off. I can’t afford to spend a few days in the joint; maybe if I have nothing else to do I might book myself in just for the hell of it. Boy did I kick that machine.

Funny how everybody then turned into saints, I could tell by the stares that they weren’t impressed. Then again were they going to refund me or get me another bag? This had turned into war; War of the chupa chups, forget Tom Cruise’s. Plenty of witness that could potentially help put me behind bars, should the vending machine company file a complaint. What sort of conversation would that make in the joint, “what are you in for? Murder! Robbery! Assault! Love of Starburst lollies! I am sure I’d be cleaning dirty for the rest of my stay; God knows what else would accompany me.

Kman Productions.........................

Goths rock!!!!!!

2005-07-27T16:16:00.000+10:00

I know this might sound sily but I just had an incredible idea, I wonna join a goth fraternity. I am in the Sydney State library and a few tables infront of there are 2 people, can't tell if both are chicks; who know. Anyway one is definitely a chick unless it's one male with serious mammary gland issues(man boobs, EeeW!), definitely a chick. Either that or am turning gay, I hope am not. Anyway I guess too much computer science has driven me to the edge and now I wonna join the Goths, I wonder if it's open to black people? Maybe in my case they'd allow me to wear white, given am black and they might not see me that well. I have no problem polishing my nails black or wearing eye pencil, only problem would be I might need lots of white make up to get pale. One question though, do goths eat meat? I am not giving up meat for nobody, those steaks are damn too delicious even to join the Goths.

I wonder where I can get my curly short hair all spiky, make up is no issue maybe I could buy a wig but that would look too fake. I have watched my sister go through beauty college for last 18months. I have picked up lots of trick and ways of applying make up. Could be the process of coming out of the closet, only problem is I am not gay. So forget coming out and help me get into the heart of the Goth community. One problem the lad, yes his behaviour has led to the deduction he is male. He has a roll of paper towel on which he has drawn amazing art work, I should start minding my own business. There are certain people that one can watch all day, this group was one of them and they have aroused my fascination with goths. Should try it for a month, after my exam this Thursday and see how I like but as I said I am sticking to meat; something about blood I guess
Kman Productions......................................

Another habit I have developed is guessing who had botox injections and on my lunch break guess who stops at the lights? A black Bentley with 2 older women (ok, old women) but their faces were rather too shiny, more like polished wood. Now am guessing many women try to avoid shiny faces and hence they pad themselves quite often. I am not cosmetic surgeon but their faces didn't match their hands or necks. Even though I am short sighted, with my glasses I have 20-20 if not better. So turkey neck and shiny faces = botox injections, don't get me wrong the bentley was classy. I wouldn't mind being in one of those but the driver might need to accept old age is a part of life. Soon I will write about women and make i.e. from what I have observed. I am sure I will offend a lot of people but as I said 18 months has taught me a lot about make up and beauty treatment;I've been the guinea pig folks!

Random bag checks

2005-07-27T12:37:00.000+10:00

Shoot to kill is the policy in most countries in regards to terror suspects, I don't argue with that. After the incidents in London one would understand the quick-trigger itch that may be ailing some law enforcers. I totally understand that an officer may prefer to open fire than risk being blown up with the rest of the public. There is one question that we fail to ask, how sure are the enforcers that the person poses a genuine threat? I will never condemn an officer for opening fire on a suspect under terror conditions, I would do the same. That would explain why I want to join the military and deploy as soon as possible;not to kill but protect. Ideally my family will not have it so the next best thing for me is video games, I can get shot 10 times and still make through to the next level. Savvy gamers know all about the cheats and can get infinite life, ammo and fire power, the most damage I incur is poor eyesight. I am now short sighted and prefer low light to bright light, photo-phobia is what the optometrist told me. A story for another day, once addicted to games I was. I am now a recovering addict, withdrawal still lingers even 2 years after I stopped activerly playing; too busy with uni and work now.

Civil liberties will be put aside as we try to protect ourselves from terror and I don't mind having my bags checks every so often so long as it's not after a session at the gym; Hazmat might be called in. Wouldn't you feel better that they are actually searching your bags, isn't that we what want; to be protected. Don't you get the feeling these so called random bag checks will not work, how random will they be? The news we get everyday is that most of the terrorists we have seen on TV appear to be of Arabic or somehow wonnabe Muslims. I have to be careful not to insight hate here because the last thing I want is to vilify anybody, there is enough of that in main stream media circles. Here are the facts we are faced with, majority of these thugs are kinda dark skinned so some people will not be checked. I understand this too, if black people were commiting crimes, I wouldn't head to the northern beaches(where I live) to investigate; simple logic. My problem is 'random bag checks', in the past few weeks all the supposedly checks have been televised, am I blind or are these guys of Asian descent too.

In New York 5 British tourists were frogmarched off the bus, for what? Asian descent and acting suspiciously, appears to be all it takes to have commandos raid a tourist bus. I know am not dressing thug style anymore,forget oversized clothes even in Summer, could seen as carrying TNT in my ass with those low hanging Jeans. I should head to Meyer and buy a few formal shirts, black pants, Smiths leather shoes and ditch the back-pack; clear plastic bags . I wouldn't want lead(cap burst in my ass, for those of you playing at home) lodged in my brain, I understand there isn't much learning one can achieve after this. Plus, given the accuracy of the British elite, 8 shots and none missed? What are the odds, none one is that accurate or so I thought. I am not gonna gamble that the Sydney squad can't aim.............

Oh! One more thing, next time you see men in body armour and automatic weapons running in your direction, stop raise your hands and try and recalling that kindergarten/nursery prayer. The one you learnt before prayers were banned in schools, that one. Oh Lord please forgive me ........................Amen, that is for those who do believe. For all you know they could be acting on flawed intel, comply and you'd rather get an apology from the cops than a state sponsored funeral. I know I aint paying for my own funreal if they shoot me, am putting that in my will as I speak. In these situations it might be worth finding faith, just don't go radical or we'll be putting your ass on the "to do list " too; target practise list. Hey what happened to Osama? Are we still trying to find him or what?

Kman Productions...................................

blog lives on

2005-07-27T07:42:00.000+10:00

wasn't going to erase the whole blog just yesterdays post, my sis 'd kill me
kman productions........

Dieting! Botox! fables

2005-07-24T19:32:00.000+10:00

Who among us hasn't been hit with an ad of the latest celebrity diet? I am not one to read tabloid or gossip magazines but in my time I have seen numerous diets, all claiming to be the best. To clarify, I don't diet and I eat what I want when I want; if I can afford it. My wallet is what determines my diet and not my diet determining how much I can spend. As such I have resulted to eating toast and tea for most of my life, gotta tell bad jokes some day. This afternoon I was horrified by a group of teenage girls, couldn't be more than 13-14yrs. They were shopping for yoghurt that was least likely to cause cancer, even better they were reading the content label to gauge how much fat they were going to ingest. Short of banging my head against a pole, I silently evesdroped; yes I know I should mind my own business. If I did I wouldn't have anything to blog about, more like rant about.

The debate was rather heated and although I didn't agree with their attitude I was rather more taken a-back, they seemed to grasp what the content label was all about. I must also admit that I have never bothered to buy groceries based on the content label, the cheapest is what I would normally buy. I could be shaving valuable years off my life span thinking I am saving on groceries. Back to the girls, after the debate they all settled for different yoghurts and as they left they realised they would have to buy spoons. Nestle make Yogo I believe, chocolate yoghurt and they do provide spoons with their M&M snack pack. I am no genius but as far as dieting and parents are cocerned, too much sugar. After all the effort they settled for Yogo, just because they didn't want to spend 65cts to purchase plastic spoons. If they'd asked I'd have bought the damn spoons. My concern however was that at their age they are worried about gaining that extra pound/kilo and even worse they have completely been misinformed.

Nutritionist claim that certain types of food are bad for us and they may contain carcinogens, I don't doubt that either. Here is what I am having trouble with, will I watch every single atom I ingest and count every calorie I take. I then have to carry a calculator to know exactly how much exercise to do to burn that extra .5calorie that may have found it's way through the cup of tea of not so SKIM milk I had in the morning. Shouldn't kids be playing in the fields brusing their knees once in a while, falling off slides and swings (nothing major of course, I'd hope)? What has happened that kids are now 'calorimeters', it's not enough they are getting boob jobs? Now we have children modelling adult clothes, this way the adults will think they are fat or vertically challenged as some would put it and then try to lose more weight. I know there are slobs out there that are just fat, plain old fat lazy buggers but why is everyone trying to get a six-pack abdomen. I got 4 and I too am aiming for the perfect 6, magic six. However I don't diet, my lifestyle doesn't allow for dieting and if anything I could use all the energy I could use, let's not forget that greasy food too; I need that. People don't go nuts trying to look like Angelina Jolie; wow she's hot! Botox! Who in their right mind want shit injected in their face? I am not anti-dieting or comestic surgery but what is the limit people. Oh! I have a wrinkle only I can see "I need botox". My lips aren't as full as hers, "I need that injection". I wish I could spare that extra fat, just incase I fell ill and was hospitalised for a while. My body has so little fat that I am concerned that should I fall ill (very rare, thank God!), my body would consume muscle (that I got to spare).

Get over it, teenagers don't need dieting tips (unless they are obese) but these girls were more like stick anorexia figures, barbie dolls inclusive of braces of course. Get into the pitch and run, burn that extra joule from the yoghurt you consumed and for God's sake I don't need to be lectured about what is good for me and what is not. Kidneys and the liver isn't there for aesthetic purposes, use them but take care of them too. More on botox later, but first I make myself a meal some lettuce, carrots, breadcrumbs and a slice of fruit. Now look what you have me eating, hand me that phone am ordering pizza.

"Hello Dolmino? I'd like to order a large serving of your most greasy pizzas, garlic bread and a 2lt. diet coke". Gotta have something diet in our meals don't we?
Kman production..........................

Racism

2005-07-21T00:18:00.000+10:00

What exactly is racism and who is a racist? If I say I prefer to be in the company of my own people would that make me a racist? If I prefer to date within my own race, would I be a racist? If I carry myself to be superior to others because of skin colour, isn't that what racism is all about? A black man talking about racism, that's all we've heard all our lives. What do white people really feel about people of other colours, let's face it your either black or white. Within the white community you might find some darker white people similar to the black people there are different tones too. I really don't get what the big deal with people of different colours and race. What would make me think I am superior/inferior to another person just because they are different from me? People claim it's the white man policy to keep the black man down in the gutter. For the record I am a black man, boy for that matter. I have faced what I'd call racism but nothing worth waging war against. I realise that there are rednecks out there just as there are black people who hate caucasians, some Christians hate Jews vice versa, some muslims hate christians vice versa etc. Nonesense, we all breathe the same air, we are born and we die.

Take a child from every race in the world and put them all in one environment, similar providence for all. Would one grow up to think they are better than the rest of the kids? Maybe or maybe they'd grow up treating each other as equals, why does race even feature in conversations. I am guilty of feeling superior in some aspects because of my race and yet there are times I have felt inferior, still because of my race. Life isn't perfect and trying to lead a perfect life would be a waste of what little time we have to live. What I do believe though, there will always be red necks out there. We could dwell on this matter all our lives or we could move on and lead our own lives to the fullest. I hate rednecks because they are always against my people, one life isn't worth more than another. I am tired or writing about racist SOBs and I hope this is the last I mention racism, that is until the next person brings up issues with my skin colour. I know I am black and I don't you to remind me, I have a mirror plus am not blind either. Cut the crap with race and sort out your shit, get of government aid before bringing clour into any conversation. People I can't reason with, red necks and terrorists, what's the difference?

Kman production

children, our future?

2005-07-19T21:30:00.000+10:00

We all recall being told that we were the future of the world, if not it might explain why you didn't any dreams when growing up. I knew I wanted to be head of Micro-Soft Africa, whatever that is and I doubt it even exists. Then again reality has been very kind to me, taught me the basics of life; it sucks big time! Am also sure that you've encountered those screaming kids that throw tantrums whenever they need attention or want something purchased, could be candy, toy or even just for the hell of it irritate the adult/s. I find it hard and mostly pity the adult/s who is/are supervising such kids, I know I wasn't any better but mama's slippers were a good reminder to behave. I wasn't a saint and more than 1 occassion had to face the wrath of mama, actually more times than I care to remember. These days discipline has been taken to a higher level, time-out for naughty kids.

Why weren't the Psychologists fighting for us when we were facing the cane, wooden spoon and if your really unlucky, mama's slippers and bare hands? Am sure those advocating that corporal punishement isn't good were caned at some point in their life, they turned out ok; most of them. Some might be in rehab, jail and some might be dead, we know caning can be taken to extremes. I remember being caned such that I swore I'd kill my teachers, all of them. Today I thank them for having taken the initiative to find fault in me, even when I thought I'd been a 'good' boy. I'd still like to meet some of them in a dark alley, you gotta understand am twice as strong and more fit than most of them now. Surely wouldn't be a contest, then again that's just in my head and I hope I'd never hit an elder. That is unless they were begging for a good ass kicking and I'd have to oblige, you have to pick ones you can whop.

I work in supermarket and have seen my fair share of brats and little 'angels', more like devils agents if you asked me. They throw themselves to the ground demanding attention and the parents/gurdians are lost for action. They can't smack the kids because I've be drilled to report such incidences to the authorities. The brats themselves know their rights better than most adults and even though they can't spell yet, they have memorised the "Mum is Bashing Me" help-line; 1300 JAIL MUM. How discraceful that we are now expected to reason with infants, imagine talking to your dog about 'pooing' all over the new carpet. Before I get hate mail, I am not calling kids dogs although some behave like them. I simply express it, just like one would say barkng at a tree which might be more fruitful that giving a kid time-out. Who on this earth sat down and decided time-out was the answer to misbehaviour? I sure was born too early for my liking, I'd be enjoying time-out even when I skinned the neighbours kitten (yeah I thought of it, but I didn't do it).

Here is what I think, these kids aren't the future we hope they will be and we will have ourselves to blame 20-30 years from now. We are raising kids who don't appreciate the rules of life, you screw up, you pay dearly for it. Soon we will have advocates for time-out for hardcore criminals, talking about they not being responsible for their actions. The world as it is provides us with the opportunity to blame our shortcoming to our up-bringing. "Oh! I raped her because I wasn't cuddled by my mother, I stole because I wasn't provided for by daddy". I can't wait for the day a person will draw out litigation plans against their parents/gurdian. The lawsuit will propose that the 'child' is a criminal because she/he was not disciplined and only got time-out, even when they attempted to drown the neighbour dog.

I fear that should I ever be fortunate enough to have my family, my kids will not be exposed to the hardship and discipline that moulds us to be better citizens. Please understand I am holding out on the kids factor in hope that a president, Prime Minister or King somewhere will allow for caning and corporal punishement. Then I will embark on spreading the seed of my loins and raising these brats in a land I can exert revenge for my many years of discipline. Let's be honest part of the thrill of having kids is the fact that you get to mould them into honourable citizens, caning being a benefit you should be afforded. Whether you chose to use it should rest solely in your hands, not some obese beauracrat with no hope of ever being a parent.

Oh! And yes I have considered a vasectomy and as time passes and the more brats cross my path the more that surgery date draws neigh. Speaking of which what is the right age or appropriate age for marriage? I think people should be given the liberty to exploit the world, make mistakes before finally settling down. Maybe that might solve the high rate of divorce we face to today, but that is my opinion.

Kman Productions

Black people,dumb?

2005-07-18T20:00:00.000+10:00

Why is it that in every country there are racists, and why does racism mostly affect black people? Are Caucasians ever discriminated against, growing up I held them with the highest regard, somewhat superior. Back in Primary school we had the pleasure of having two American girls visit our school, why did we stop our normal learning to accommodate them? Were trying to get to their level of superiority by changing our syllabus for 1-2 days? I was about 13 or maybe 14 and as we know that is when one seizes to worry about girls germs and even craves them; couldn't wait to brush against a girl. Oh good old days, now things are different can't trust anyone. Before this age I could sit face to face with a girl and not even care about my presentation, throw in a white girl and you have a confused teenager. 10 of the 14 boys am sure had the same experience I did, can't blame us just hormones acting up. I remember I borrowed mum's perfume and I guess I was kinda gayish on that day. African boy smellong of women perfume, crime of the highest (Africa needs to lose up). Hey I couldn't buy cologne after school, shops were closed and the best thing to smelling of boy sweat was smelling like mum. At least I didn't stink, plus they may have thought I was gay; we all know how women are comfy with gay men. I can never get that, men are dogs yet gay men get all the chicks. Should we convert?
Are white people superior to black people? Yes this is about races, I always felt inferior to Caucasians; until I landed in Australia. My view of Caucasians has changed and everyday I am very grateful I was granted the opportunity to move here.

African by birth I was exposed to different communities, all black; some of us were lighter than others while others were more like coal miners. This however didn't stop us from making friends across the cultures, got to accept people for who they are even when you don't agree with them. Back to my question are black people dumber than white people? I have 3 immediate uncles who are well educated and I also have un-schooled relatives. What side do I fall on, dumb or smart; compared to white people that is. Prof Andrew Fraser, a law lecturer believes that Australia should refuse entry to non-white immigrants, that mean you Asians as well; sorry Japan, no exceptions. Shock isn't quite what I experienced but utter hatred and anger for this gentleman, I didn't realise I could harbour such hatred for anyone.

Prof Fraser believes that the problems of the country (Australia) have been instigated by allowing non-white immigrants; they have different cultures thus differences arise. Now please understand that this is from a white man, a pig if you ask me and being black doesn't help me see things from his point of view. Crime never existed before black people or lets be fair, crime was very low before black people came here. Asians to have been accused of not wanting to integrate and take up Australian ways of living; what ways VB, birthing like rabbits and being on the dole? Any half arsed individual with an IQ of 70-75, average IQ for black people in sub-Saharan Africa as suggested by Prof Andrew Fraser knows this is total bullshit. Prof Fraser also believes that people (white) will not want to immigrate here once they realise that the country isn't majority white anymore but has a mixture of cultures. I try to keep this blog as PG as possible but what a prick, seriously IQ doesn't really have correlation with logical thinking. I would sincerely like to have a sit down with Prof Fraser and hear his side of the story, I believe everyone has a right to have an opinion though.

I wonder what he would do if a black student enrolled in one of his classes, would be out rightly for the neck and mark the term papers more strictly. The average IQ for Sub-Saharan Africa being 70-75 might explain why so many of our people are dying from AIDS even after millions if not billions have been spent trying to educate us. Are we that damn? I pose an open question to you all, do you think black people are inferior and dumber compared to white people? Maybe if we didn’t spend half our lifetime trying to fend off famine and droughts, we may have the time to hit the books and work on our IQs. I am honestly offended by this Son of a Bitch's opinion and think I will actually email him and request some data, proof that he is smarter than I am. Yeah he is a professor but am sure there is a fair bit I know that he doesn’t, what right does he have to claim am inferior to white people?

Does that mean all the ideas I have about eliminating power problems, water shortages may not be up to scratch; explains why am not performing well in class. I was predestined to be dumb and might even explain why there are only 2 black people in my faculty, now there is only one since Moses graduated; Me (should be I, b4 u call me dumb!), the only black man in the faculty of Informatics at the University of Wollongong. I should quit while am ahead, maybe that is why even when I study I don’t seem to understand much; am dumber. Prof Fraser please plead my case with the govt to send me back home, am only a drain to the country. Pompous prick, I say...........................
Kman Productions...................................

beach life

2005-07-13T22:12:00.000+10:00

living 500m from the ocean is very expensive and apparently to die for, I think otherwise. At 24 I still haven't braced myself for swimming lessons, at this rate I might die a non-swimmer; no water sports for me, nothing beyond the bath tub that is. I have lived at my present place for the last 5 years and rarely have I ventured out for a walk by the sea/ocean whatever the difference is. Today was different, I was to take still shots for my friends something to make them envious of my neighbourhood. My sister so happens to be very good at taking my electronics and most of all pinching my AA batteries, what most of my stuff runs on. Today was no exception, she pinched my disc-man. YES! Disc-man I haven't upgraded to an ipood yet, shoot me for all I care! Immediately she arrived I took the batteries off and headed for the beach, to my delight the waves were pounding with vengeance. Great photo shoot I'd be having, so I thought. Test shot was perfect, my camera is at least 2 years old and digital shots aren't brilliant either but good hasn't failed me yet. Boy I need to upgrade my electronic equipment, start saving for a fresh start.

I got 3-4 shoots then when I got the most brilliant idea so far, the damn batteries die. How! Why! I will kill that young girl, she needs to keep her own! Those who think they know may be bare testament that these are very polite terms I've written here and what i trully uttered couldn't have been this polite. So the brilliant idea was writing a message on the sand and sending it out to a friend. I figured this was unique but am sure people have already done this, same with all the brilliant ingenious ideas I think I've had. Isn't is a bummer when you think you have a great idea only to see it already implemented and on the market? What is it they say "yeah life isn't fair"? Go figure. Tomorrow I go back the beach armed with a backpack full of batteries, only this time I hope they aren't duds from my lovely sister. Aren't they the best, huh?
kman Productions................

I can't, just can't do it

2005-07-12T22:48:00.000+10:00

Ever heard a guy say, "am sorry and I apologise"? Yeah me neither, part of my culture and upbringing was never to appear weak or vulnerable;be tough and strong! Now I have never apologised in my life, not once have I had the decency to quote "am sorry". I know I have been wrong on almost everything but, men can't apologise;can they? 1995, school captain for that year and I believe I caused more damage than anyother captain I'd known. Before me, being a captain was synonymus with adhering to law and enforcing it. I didn't care, it was just a get out jail free card that I sure did make use of. What did the panel see in me when they voted for me? I knew I wasn't the best leader in the class, wasn't the smartest either.

Mid year, I got myself into a fight;my fault. Soccer being the only sport in my days, that was until we tried our hand at basketball and haven't looked back since. It was customary to have a sports afternoon on Thursday, the whole school of about 300 brats would make it to the fields. The fields couldn't support that many kids so the higher classes monopolised the games. I was the midfielder in the school team, yeah I was good. An ordinary Thursday and as usual we were in the field playing, the opponent's team was comprised of the best of the lower classes. We were the seniors so we played the rest of the school, no match there. Halfway through the game I am running with the ball cutting through the sides using my trademark long strides and smooth soft touch. Suddenly I am tackled and find myself ingesting grass, I wonder how cows do it; the taste eeew! The tackle wasn't legal and the logical thing was to call for a foul. I did more than that. After much cheering from my classmates, I took to the field fists clenched ready for Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

At 14 years of age I was invincible, nothing could break me and after watching that many Bruce Lee movies, I was him incarnate or so I thought. I confront the 'tackler', Brian and as I do so I can hear my mother's voice in my head, "I will cane you to kingdom come". However mama's voice was quenched by the crowd cheers of "fight, fight, fight". Fight Club right on Moi Academy grounds and I was Brad Pitt never loses. I threw the fast punch and landed square on Brians face, I could swear the earth's rotation stopped. Silence then the all to familiar Kungu crouch I'd mastered from my master Mr. Lee. Everyone is familiar with the crouch, the calling of the opponent with your right hand sticking out. Only thing I was missing then was a film crew; to record my ass being beaten. I lost so badly that the next day I contracted measles, I couldn't go to school for a week after the day. The following day in class not a single person in class could say anything, I was amongst the tough guys; obviously not tough enough. My basher was 4 classes behind me but to my defence was my age mate. He later went to become my sister's boyfriend for a while, that was until the following year I went to high school and returned meaner than ever.

A simple apology on my part could have avoided the fight, yes it was his fault but I could have walked away too. Now that I think about it, I probably lost because measles had been incubating for 2 weeks, isn't that the incubation period? I oughta request a rematch and this time apologise to avoid a further beating, I'd probably take him now though. A year boxing and stress can make a fighter out of any of us. Then again the boy might be packing more mean punches for me and I might not live to tell about the re-match

Kman productions................................

Give me a damn break

2005-07-10T21:37:00.000+10:00

Thursday night Sydney time, I receive news that London was subject to terrorist attacks. My first instinct was to pray that Sydney isn't next, they got America, London and what remains is Sydney. The news last week was rather interesting, ASIO Australia's version of the MI5 and MI6 and CIA announced that there was significant evidence that there were plots to attack the nation. Since 911 all we have heard are Alqaeda’s plans to launch another major attack, White people are freaking out. Don't get me wrong, am scared too but I don't obsess over it. One lady at work has vowed never to cross the Sydney harbour bridge again. For those of you not familiar with Sydney, the bridge is one of 3 ways to get to Sydney; city. The alternatives are via Sydney ferries or spend another hour or so meandering through the bush. You have a higher chance of being attacked by a Kangaroo than being caught up in an attack at the bridge.
Back to my day on Friday, the topic for the day as would be expected was the London attacks. Please believe me; I do sympathize with the 'Londoners' who were victims. No one deserves to be terrorized regardless of race or religion. As my lunch break drew near I made it to the tea room, gossip convent. Here you will here more than your share of rumour and gossip about every employee and every relationship they are involved in. I personally don't care; reason being my life at work doesn't mix with my social life (or the lack of in my case). The MC on this day was Michelle, a recently separated woman prying for sympathy from everyone of us. I feel sorry that after 20+ the husband turns out to be an ass, which brings me to another point (marriages at young ages later blog though).
I knew that the first people to be vilified for these attacks would be the Muslim; one can only imagine what they face. I have to admit I have wondered why these thugs always claim to be Muslim; Islam is a faith of peace contrary to what many may want to believe. Michelle’s comments made my blood boil, I have heard silly comments even idiotic suggestion but what she said should be 'criminalized'. "Australia should close its doors to Middle Eastern people; they are bringing war to our country". Pure ignorance and arrogance of her behalf, I don't tolerate such comments, could be because I too am in a minority group. Australia's history is etched by bloodshed and terrorizing Aboriginal groups. For those with an understanding of the Australian culture you'd know that the original settlers here were convicts from Britain and its colonies; mainly British thugs. Anybody in this country except for the Aboriginal community immigrated and none can lay claim of the land (technically that it, but we know the Aborigines have no say in government). So lets say, bar the Middle Eastern people, whose next, African refugees because they are bringing poverty and 3rd world thinking? No words can explain what I felt; my thoughts were on grabbing a noose (not for myself) and hanging her.
How can one person be so dumb and lack the least of intellectual intelligence? I am for Muslims even though I am not a believer in their faith, aren’t they people too. I preach tolerance and getting rid of stereotyping, previous blog 'Where are you from' is testament to this. I have sworn not to ask people what their heritage is, we tend to categorize them with what little negative news we've heard about their country and/or culture. Grow up, bar Middle Eastern people; just because you've been born in Australia doesn't give you the birthright to be an ass. On that note Majority of Australians are very tolerant and accommodating and we shouldn’t stereotype them because of a few baboon minded individuals. Mosques are now being offered extra protection by the police and federal agents, is this what we have come to; terrorizing other citizens because we can’t get the real culprits? Shame on us, guess who wins then?
Kman productions..................................

blow me down, WMD

2005-07-09T22:28:00.000+10:00

Your eyes meet and you can feel the sweat build up on your palm, by God you that your deodrant can mask the nervous sweat. As silly as it may sound I still suffer from sweaty palms and the ocassion dry mouth when am faced by an attractive woman. Don't get me wrong I aint no Saint Nicholas but a Halle Berry can cause unexpected raction in your body. Ever wonder I will always wear the best cologne even when am at work? Cause you never know, I am made to understand first impression can build or break you, and we all know it's almost impossible to recover from bad BO. My point today is that first impressions aren't all they are claimed to be, yeah she may look good but a few sentences later your ducking for the nearest oxygen tank.
Cigarette breath is one of the worst odours there are, forget anthrax and cyanide, I can take these anyday. Ever thought that your about to have a nice chat when it hits you, just when your about to roll out those fail-safe lines you may have picked from HITCH. My God, smokers breath is disturbingly foul, especially if they don't try to mask; eat grass or something. Chew on your shirt or even better chew on those damn matches, then again who uses match sticks anymore? I'd take poo breath anyday, kill me, hang me, boil me in oil but whatever you do don't open your mouth in my face. I am not like most people who can fake a smile and pretend nothing is wrong, I will frown in your face and put on a gas mask as you watch. If that doesn't work don't be offended if I turn my face away from you and take a few paces forward (away from this WMD, forget Iraq's dossier). Thank God for video phones, I don't have to smell tar in your breath again. We could still be friends but friends who video conference.
kman productions.......................

AIDS, Condoms and Religion

2005-07-07T00:41:00.000+10:00

I have never been one to pull number out of my rear end; I know numbers and have a firm grasp of statistics. I was watching a BBC special focusing on the present state of Africa and the many problems facing our homeland. We all know Africa needs help and immediate change of attitude amongst the leaders both political and religious. May I suggest we kill all the present leaders and start a fresh, there is no hope for us if the current trend continues. We need radical change, the generation we have is dying on us and sooner than later we may not have enough of a future generation to move the continent. According to BBC Africa will need a further 130 years to cut the mortality of children by two thirds, 12o years to bring literacy to majority of the citizens.

Jesus! If these are the figures we are working with, what the #$@* are we doing about it? Why do we have to wait for the western world citizens to host concerts in Europe and the Americas to highlight our plight? I have always thought that there is nothing I can do; I am just but a mere engineering student. I got no money, no influence but I hurt when all I see about my home continent is children and women dying. What can I do? As soon as I can answer that question maybe Africa will be on it's way to recovery.

Oh we were colonized and that is our problem, get the %^#@ out of here, how long are we going to stick to that line. Let’s move on and get over it, so what? That was many years ago and lets face it, the colonizers had effective infrastructure when we got independence. It's only after Africans took control of their countries that poverty levels climbed, mortality sky rocketed and corruption crippled the economy. For goodness sake if your going to take a bribe, do your bloody job. Bribes are meant to motivate civil servants to hasten the process not block the legal process as has been the story for the last 4 decades. I don't condone corruption but the fact is, it's ingrained in many of us. We are in so much debt because some S.O.Bs have embezzled from the economy. Swiss accounts burst from interests accrued and there are no signs of relief. Aren't the huge payment politicians pocket enough, African politicians are better off than most western world politicians I'd say.

AIDS, 30+ million people have the virus and will die, forget a cure it's too late for these poor souls. They should make amends with their maker and plan for the next 2-5 years, who will care for their families once they depart? The Catholic Church has come out with steam that condoms shouldn't be advocated. Fair enough, but for a continent with millions dying condoms might slow the inevitable. People are dying yet these religious groups will not advocate for condoms to help avoid death. If people shun religion, should the religious groups shun them. My belief is that belief is to cater for the human need first then deal with the spiritual. What is the use of preaching to a hungry man, give the man some bread and maybe he might listen. For all that its worth please avoid sex until marriage (that is my up-bringing), but who are we kidding here? People are having sex in drones and will continue to have sex whether we like or not, THAT IS FACT! With this knowledge then, can't we advise them to use protection to minimize the risk of contracting diseases that could kill them? For God's sake, 30 million and counting! I doubt saving lives is a cardinal sin, let me answer to the maker after having saved or tried to save lives. I strongly believe that it's very irresponsible that a church can rule out contraception that may prevent the spread of a killer virus. I respect people’s religious belief but logic is also part of our God given gift. We want to promote responsibility amongst the youth but what about those who deem abstinence as a joke and impossible. Get them condoms don't burn condoms or deny access to these.

My university is weird, maybe too secular because condoms are given out free of charge. All you do is walk to the student services and to avoid the embarrassment they put them in an un-marked box for all. This might be pushing it I think but they are playing their part in try to help students avoid the scourge of STDs. So get off your ass and if you have to have sex outside marriage, be safe and use a condom. Bulletproof vests are not fail-safe but they have been known to save a few lives. I'd advise we stick to one partner and in marriage but as I mentioned previously, we are just plain naive if we expect marriage to be the only sex haven. Grab a packet of condoms the next time you pass by the supermarket or pharmacy and if you can't get some, I could mail you some from my campus. Only problem is that you might have to postpone the sexual act for a few days as you wait for the mail. If you’re unlucky the Kenyan postal staff might even keep them for themselves, I hope if they do they do use them. Let's talk about sex an old song that Africa doesn't seem to understand, understand the danger and take precaution. Prepare for the worst fellow country men, we are in for the long haul on this fight. I will give out condoms to anyone that asks, as I mentioned they are free on campus and what the hell if you see me pick a whole box of them. I know what am trying to do, if I could prevent one STD maybe help one person that's all we need. Then after that bring in my spiritual aspect as to what I might think is best, can't bash religion into people. Let's spread peace and love and most of all let's fight this plague that is killing us Africans. Help yourself Africa, live 8 concerts can't be hosted for you all the time. Get off your lazy ass and do something, educate someone about the scourge we face. For God's sake, educate yourselves people, EDUCATE yourself can't stress this enough.........

kman productions.............................................

Oops I tripped

2005-07-06T17:39:00.000+10:00

Am on the bus waiting to go home when I see a lady drop a pile of sealed envelops, lucky for her she had a guy to help her pick them up. I have this scene played out so many times that I doubt most of the times the accidents are genuine. Are they just plots to meet that girl you've always wanted to meet? Replay to the lady carrying the pile of book from the library or that work hottie carrying work related papers. Now let's change the scene slightly, the carrier of the books or papers is now a guy, average looking nothing special at first sight. So he trips on a cable that runs from one cubicle to to another. Why there would be cables on the ground beats me but lets just play along. Even better he just looses balance and drops the paper work, I can almost guarantee that the guys in the firm or office will burst into laughter; I would.
If he is lucky maybe one of the girls may bend and lend a hand, that is if he is lucky. Generally the guy will coil in shame and hurriedly collect his stuff and rush for the nearest exit, phone in hand calling mother to calm him down. Nothing reassures us like mama, "Oh who is a big boy". So now lets say it's the hottie that dropped the paperwork, how much carnage do you think will be created as 'good samaritans' lend their services? Why is this the case, I'd love to really understand why we behave the way we do. I know I'd be the first one leaping over the 8 foot cubicle wall sprinting up the stair case, no time for the elevator. For who God forbid there are no guys in the 5 floors above me trying to help the poor dame. Get it, I'd sense paperwork being dropped 5 floors above me and I'd be there even before the last document hits the ground. 'Spidie' senses are homing on potential accidents, how pathetic is that scenario?

Perfect Date

2005-06-29T13:02:00.000+10:00

Every guy has a dream date, the perfect girl in our minds. I believe in prepping before you venture out into dating. Reason I believe in this ritual is that like every task we take seriously, e.g. exams, we cram the nights before. So boys, prepare yourselves prior to engaging in conversations, you wouldn't want be humming songs when you're supposed to making them laugh. More importantly guys, learn how to dance. I am so tired of being stepped on by freaky dancers, last time I went out I had a few toes almost fractured and had my ribs bruised in the process. We should go back to the 17th century when they wore body armour; the metal wearing punks could dance without fear of being bruised. Have you walked to a club and the music is off the hook (nobody uses that lingo anymore, bare with me though) and you can feel the music down your soul. So you brave the empty floor and do start on the latest moves and slowly but surely other people trickle onto the floor. Soon the floor is almost packed and the ratio of women to men isn't perfect but with your skills you shouldn't have a problem getting a dancing partner (that's all you want, I'd hope). Unfortunately as most of you, know white people generally can’t dance, nothing against the lovely people (plain obvious).

Imagine being a knight, wait! Can't remember if knights wore this, that's besides the point I think. Back to my near death experience and a bit off topic from the 'perfect date' title. There I am in the club moving in what I hope is systematic to the rhythm; some young lady is gunning it too far. Then without warning, a sharp pain right through my foot through my back to the neck then BOOM! OOOuuch! You son-of-a......... Oops! I almost cursed at the poor girl but realised that she was probably doing what came natural, to step on someone sooner or later. Damn! Honeys, if you can’t dance don’t wear high heels; leave those to the JLo’s and Beyonces who can handle the dance and heel. Please! Limping and in pain I quickly make out of the dance floor and dash into the ambulance already waiting outside (how did they know, could Aussies be that bad of dancers). Well I didn't quite require paramedics but I did limp off the dance floor, had several shots of icy cold water before braving the floor again.
Got to finish this later, Oprah is on and I love the woman (You tell and I will kill you, no pan there). I should change the title,maybe later eh?
Kman Productions...............................................................

Penis Envy

2005-06-29T11:45:00.000+10:00

For the love of God, spare me the black jokes about the loins. I've heard enough to drive me nuts, is that why we wear baggy clothes? I've been to with friends (white people) and somehow they bring up the stigma about black people. I thought that maybe this would be a joke for a short period but it seems like every time you hang out the topic will resurface. Who came up with this myth, how the hell does that always end up being the topic late at night? The next time some one looks at my shorts I will sock them, Jesus can't we talk about the weather anymore. How's this for a conversation from a workmate

Workmate: "Hey man Wassup?"

Me: "Hey man"

Workmate: "So what's this I hear about you guys is it true".

Me: I whisper to myself "Oh! Lord not that size thing, I'll kill this SOB. Hey man what are you talking about? Oh yeah we run like hell and we also don't easily gain weight" this is my way to divert the talk from the obvious uncomfortable chat.

Workmate: "Run? What the hell are you talking about; I mean the myth is it true?"

Me: Now am clearly sweaty and my cool is about to blow and the real me be revealed "I don't know what your talking about man and I have to get back to work. So how's your car dude, everything run well and your computer I could fix it for you know". By now the bugger has go wind of the situation and decides to back down for the day.

So what is all this penis envy that is so prevailant in these times, what is the threat? I even got junk mail on how to increase penis size. Could this be and epidemic that government funded research has been commissioned? Let's settle this once and for all, don't ask me is it's true. I don't sit by the urinal with racial score cards comparing and matching race to size. Maybe we should have an online poll, have this settled and never ask a brother again. So what?
So last night I stepped into the limelight and hit the club, there I was shaking my 'thang' some dude taps me on the shoulder and asks "hey bro, is it true?". Oh my God, are you for real?
Kman Productions

Give it another shot

2005-06-22T16:50:00.000+10:00

So after a sad day out last week, we are going to up it a bit tonight. We don't have any study commitment for the next 4-5 weeks and idle minds have to be kept entertained. I am hoping that tonight will see fewer peolple in the local hang out joints, I don't like crowds (too much sweat and smoke). Sad to say that majority of the people I have seen going out also smoke, kinda makes the rest of us smoke too. Clothes will smell so bad that I ened up burning them, I am running out of clothes peoples. I can't keep up, at this rate I might be walking naked sometime soon. Solution, find a hang out where smoking is banned and the music blares like hell and I will be there 24-7.
My main concern for tonight however is the fact that I feel odd when I go out. It seems like everyone out there has just turned 18 and they can wait to leave their houses. Are there mature people in Sydney, am tired of getting into brawls with teenage punks, just because they can get drunk they think the rule the earth. Truth be told, I might be getting in trouble soon after I nail a teenager to the road and restructure some of the bone. On the other hand I guess we are to expect such behaviour from the young lads, they just got their freedom!
A sign that I am maturing faster than I wanted, I go out and get concerned when I see a overly drunk person. I am wondering how they are going to get home and will they get there safely. I should care at all really, I din't ask any of them to leave their homes did I ? Let us wait and see what tonight brings for Kman, will I be laughing again on the dance floor after yet another rejection or will this prove to be different?
Kman Productions.......................

Rejected! I?

2005-06-21T14:53:00.000+10:00

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I am given the back of the hand on the dance floor. A day after my exams, we decided to celebrate. The only way to do this is my uni area is raid a club and party for a few hours. Clubs don't run until the wee hours of the morning so one is able to make ot work. Most clubs are closed by 0030hrs, plenty of time to catch an evening meal at Mc D's before heading home. Wednesday night was meant to be a big night, most people were done with their exams and anxiety to party was evident, or so we thought.
We made to the club at around 2130hrs, but the was a State of Origin match on this night. The club had it's big screens all out and were broadcasting the match, the dance floor was empty. Two states in the country were glued to their screens or a screen in a bar somewhere. People here like their beers, so it's no wonder most pubs have cashed in on this desire for a drink. Huge plasma screen plaster the wall and what better way for men to enjoy, a football match, beer, second hand smoke, and best of all smelly toilets. After the match, we made it to the dance floor when as usual we'd broken records on dance moves and this wasn't gonna be any different. The usual glance around to lock on your next dancing partner is well mastered that it never fails. This was gonna be a different night though, dancing is part of who we are.
So my boys took one side of the floor and clearly were getting an audience and I took the other end of the floor. Word of advise, don't eat just before going dancing (especially for guys, don't over-eat). Long story short kman was rejected after asking a girl to dance, Kman! Never in life did I think that would happen, I was so surprised that I just burst into laughter (could have been self pity and embarrasement). Anyhow the next 2 requests too were turned down and I reviewed my option in this club just before we left for the next one. Lesson learnt? Am still pondering on what I did wrong, maybe this week I will not have such a bad stretch.
kman productions...........................................

How wrong I was

2005-05-18T18:45:00.000+10:00

How many times have I said white people can't dance or black people are show offs? Stereotyping has been part of me for a very long time and it's time I got rid of such notions. You get to an age in life when you don't refer to a people but only to an individual, I guess that is what maturity is all about. So Monday is a clubbing night at my campus, so is wednesday, Friday, Saturday and sometimes Thursdays and Sunday too. One would argue that at my uni Tuesdays is the Sabbath, I haven't heard of people going out on Tuesday in the many years I've been there. So Monday I was going to try out some of the pick up lines I'd outlined in my last blog, none of them worked though. I still had one of the best nights in along time, I am suffering now for that much fun.
My kind of music isn't the Aussie kind and they prefer more of rock, country blend genre. My colour doesn't allow me to like these genres as I was inclined to like R&B and Rap from birth. I could listen to other genres but I feel @ home with these two, maybe I need to explore goth rock for a while. would I have to buy black though? I like some colour in my attire.
Anyway Monday I am shocked by a lady (white) that almost outpaced me on the dance floor. I can't divulge identity but I have to say that has never happened before. I have always found myself slowing down such as not to attract too much attention on the dance floor. Monday was great because I put it all on the floor and she too kept up. I should ask her to be my new dancing partner, maybe she was the one holding back. Here I am all smiles that I have danced in 4 years, the other times I just moved my feet to blend in with the uncoordinated crowd that frequents the clubs. Tonight I might also go out, who knows I might find another lady that can dance if not the same mystery woman that almost outpaced Kman .
With that I better find out if my mate is off work and whether he is going out too, he drives us around you see. I hate driving and at my age I think I should get my act together and get my license and car before the end of the year. Well maybe the license and then work on saving for the car. I could always rob a pensioner, they are so easy to scare off their money. How do you think I financed all my projects? Hehe
Kman Productions....................................

Pick up lines

2005-05-16T18:00:00.000+10:00

Caffeine tablets that don't work, coffee that gives me heartburn and tea that is more like a sedative than a stimulant. These are what I have had to endure as I tried to conquer sleep for a week, how long can a man/woman(bloody feminism) go without sleep and still function properly? I would pay to be in that experiment, yes pay $$ to be the guinea pig for such tests. Last week was one hell of a week, I had so many tasks due that I need about 9 days in the 5 weekdays of that week. In simple terms I needed not to sleep to accomplish this tasks on time and hopefully quality work too. In my deranged state I decided to explore a different aspect of life, pickup lines.
Women have been lucky that majority if the corny lines uttered are towards them and they rarely make asses of themselves. Then again I have a victim of corny lines too, doesn't often but it does. I went full out on this search and may have found some of the supposedly top 10 best and worst of them all. The only problem is that now am tempted to use these tonight as we celebrate it being a Monday. We are college students and we don't need a reason to go out on a weekday, Monday for that matter. 10 best pick up lines I got as listed on http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_top_ten/35b_dating_list.html

10. I was wondering if you have a moment to spare for me to hit on you?
Women are always saying they want guys with a sense of humour and I think this would certainly earn you aminute or two of her time. That is until her annoying over protective friend tag along, they just have ruin it for everybody. Don't you just hate it when you have to pass the girlfriends test, before you can get a dance. We aren't looking for marriage a simple conversation and maybe a dance, we got too much uni work to take it to the next level
09. What's a sexy woman like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
I think this one is kinda corny and most wouldn't fall fall for it, women by the way don't fall for pick up lines. I have learnt that they just let you think your good and you keep making an ass out yourself and then when you meet the next day on campus you can't face them. Learn through experience people, my experience is to keep your lines for your mirror at home. They are too smart and it's we realise this boys and girls.
08. Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
Yet again this is self explanatory but I think she will be smiling even at your candid approach, I am sure a dance wouldn't be too far off. I'd hope not!
07. Who's your friend?
Now this is a good one, I should go try this this evening. Picture the girl you like for the evening and then approach her asking for the friend's name. Firstly she might be quick to tell you but then after it hits her (especially since she is better looking than her friend) she will want to know what was wreong with her. "Once she asks whats wrong with me" then boy you better have prepared a response and don't start drawing maps or spilling drinks all over your hands. I'd suggest if you must have a drink, have a bottle or you're really clumsy have an IV direct to the counter.
06. I'm new in town and can't find my way around; could I have directions to your place?
What can I say this is plain silly, I wonder how it got to be here?
05. I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
Being down to earth is a quality few handsome men posses, they tend to think that because they are good looking they don't have to be nice and all that 'nicety' stuff. Now Unless your good looking, please don't use this line for you could infact be an ugly mother and you oughta be auditioning for horror flicks. The idea is to get her to see your not arrogant.
04. You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
Boyish lines may always get a giggle and she might let you buy her a drink, bringing me to my next point. Why the hell do we have to buy drinks and pick up tabs whenever you meet a new lady at a venue. I am not buying another meal for a while and as a matter of fact I will be hoping to get a free drink myself. Once in a while the ladies should turn the tables and surprise us. Worth a try eh? Fellas?
03. What's your name?
This is simple, you would never go wrong with this one that is unless you had your mouth marinated in garlic or cess for the last few days. we should go back to the simplistic days once in a while.
02. See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute.
I think this ine is actually a cute line, you will have her feeling obligated to respond positively and you shouldn't have problems getting a cool 5 minutes of conversation. The 5 minutes you have may determine your fate for the night, depending on your motives. I always suggest keep it simple express interest and I would recommend pickin up at clubs isn't the best way to do it, then again am old school.
01. So what haven't you been told tonight?
Every average+ looking woman in any venue has had a few lines thrown her way and she probably doesn't more crude humour or lame lines for another week or so. This I think would create a comfortable environment and you would be surprised by the level of interest you might arouse from the lady in question.
TEN WORST
10. Hey, I was just thinking of you! Okay, I'm all cleaned up now though."
09. How would you like your eggs for breakfast: scrambled, boiled or fertilized?"
08. What do you say we go back to my place and do some math? Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply!"
07. You might as well sleep with me because I'm going to tell everybody we did it anyway."
06. Hey babe, do you know that my bedroom is soundproof?"
05. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag."
04. I just want to tell you that you have a price to pay for being this cute, and I'm here to collect... your phone number, that is."
03. Did you know women are like parking spots? All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped. Which are you?
02. Can I buy you a drink or do you prefer the cash instead?"
01. If you've lost your virginity, can I ----------------------------------------------------------?"

Joke 1 was too rude to print on this blog and you can use your imagination, but for those of you who smoked too much weed, just forget joke 1 was there.
Disclaimer...
Kman takes no responsibility for any black eyes, groin kicks or facial scaring that may result from the use of any of the material listed above. However I do take credit and copyright any happy endings that you might receive after using these corny lines. Drop us a line and let us know what other lines you think might be worth putting on this list, let's build a library for men to make fools of themselves (I included).

Kman Productions.........................

New generation Men; lonely too

2005-05-14T19:17:00.000+10:00

I have always had the atmost respect for married young people, I don't know how they do it. I guess some of us are meant to procreate early and provide us with tax payers throughout our lives. As sad as it may be true I think I have made a crucial decision that I have seen many of my peers make, take a career path and postpone families. Kudos to those who can juggle both career and families because Kman can't do it, I dream of a time when I will be asked to travel at a moments notice not have to worry about a family being left behind. This life is good for go getters but is also very lonely, we can't have both.
We might be on the verge of total materialism but in the end it should pay off, start at family after 30 or even maybe 35. The only problem with this is there will be a gap between our retiring and our children being eligible to pay taxes. Paradox I'd say, we get to enjoy freedom but later in life might miss out on crucial taxes to keep governments running. More on this topic later..
Kman Productions.......................................

Love and Hate

2005-05-13T01:04:00.000+10:00

Life oh life why deal me a blow I can't bare, enough of moaning and complaining here are some of the hings I fail to understand

plastic surgery: a man or woman will undergo the knife to take years of their face and yet one can always tell they have had surgery. Never have I seen anyone that looks good after plastic surgery unless they are for medical reasons eg burn patient.

Breast implants: Guys really don't care that much whether it double d (whatever that means), all a guy wants is to be appreciated. There are women guys fantisize about and there are those we marry.Get the implants and we may whistle as you passby but for a wife, you aint it.

white women getting lip jobs: You got thin lips live with it, you got better chnahces of getting jobs anyhow. Lets face it white women are attractive fact of life and the minute they go for fuller lips they lose plot.

Black women: I got nothing to say or I might end up in hospital for this and not get a wife hehe.

Black young men: African American blokes dress gangsta and we in the desert follow suit, hood in Australia during summer is like sleeping next to a heater.We want be cool but lets face it, we need vests not oversized clothes. Please note I do have my fair share of papa sized clothes, for clubbing that is.

Black people: You ever wonder why many blacks are poor and may never make it finacially? We buy too much superficial stuff, bling from head to toe and yet they send debt collectors after us. The white people don't dress fancy all the time but they invest ther pennies for the future, then they can take those vacations later in life. We on the other hand have to have the latest lables.

University Education: How many people do we have that have gone through uni not knowing a damn thing? How much cheating takes place on campus? Who learns anything anyhow, I haven't learnt jack, just how to juggle stress and lack of sleep to produce a half assed essay in 2 hrs.

Love: Is there really only one person that you can be happy with or is this a fools fable to keep you hopeful that all the chances you've lost were destined for doom. What is it with older men going for younger women and vice versa? Aren't age-mates compatible and can friends be ever more than friends? Is it worth risking losing that friendship while attempting for something greater?

Why can't you be happy when someone else is happy and your still struggling, wouldn't you expect them to be happy for you?

How long should you wait before judging whether you like someone and who is to say who makes the first move?

Could I have missed out on life while I claimed I was furthering my education? How do you balance your academics with your life or are some of us meant for academic persuit and others meant to enjoy life? What is enjoying life?

Should you break up a relationship just because you like one of the couple, opposite sex I'd hope?

Why does the Catholic church still snub condoms when they could save lives? Shouldn't life triumph over religious believes? Why do some priests touch young boys, isn't it time they were allowed to have an outlet maybe marry?

Is is better to love and lose or not to love at all? Why do we regret after the opportunity has gone?

Is love selfish or can you love someone enough to let them go so that they can have a better life elsewhere? Is that stupid or just an excuse we use because we screwed up weren't bold enough to let our feelings.

Why do we men think we can protect women? They did survive before we met them(I don't mean creation).

Why do always have to buy a lady a drink when I go out? Can I ever expect a free cuppa when I go out, or would she offer to pull me a seat at a restaurant?

Why do feminists cry foul yet during elections they vote for men?

Why?
kman productions....................

Jessica Warigia

2005-05-12T18:06:00.000+10:00

My primary school mates probably don't know this about me; I'd pay to see all of them in good health and doing well. I would buy tickets for a re-union, not to go brag about my career choice but to tell them what I really thought of them. There were those I couldn't stand and those with whom I spent most of my time. Primary school for me was hard because I was forced to lead a life that wasn't mine, I had to show off to be noticed or be counted as hip. I know that this happens even today and will still happen centuries to come. My only regret was telling people that I liked that I did like them. I have little if any hint of where most if not all are, I only keep in touch with one girl, woman now.
A girl by the name Jessica Warigia fell for some of the worst ridicules in our second last year of school. As sad as it would be I was part of that self righteous band of cool boys who walked on clouds, only difference was I pretended to walk on clouds. Earlier this year word reached me that this young lady had succumbed to ill health and pass away. Whatever future she may have had was snuffed out, ill health isn't discriminative. How I wish I had apologised for being such a bastard, then again I knew no better (not an excuse). I think as I grow older I realise that I should find the people I was rude to in school and extend my apologies and admit to being a jerk. Kman has always been a wonna be and I have stepped on a lot of toes to try and fit in with the right crowd; that was until I left home.
I have moved from being a wonna be to seeing the wonna be's become nothing but ordinary miserable bastards. I didn't want to end up like such idiots and surely life has thrown me a life-line in the form of hardship and daily struggle to rid me of the pride I possess. Jessica Warigia, if only I had apologised for my stupid behaviour, I wouldn't be feeling the guilt I do now. How sorry I am that she passed away and in her honour I swore to build a site for my former schoolmates, a place we could keep in and seek forgiveness where needed. Most of all keep in touch with lost friends, I do hope that one day I will see some of my classmates we may not necessarily be friends anymore. I will eventually get the site up and running and it will be grand in honour of Jessica, I sure hope that no-one else will pass before I can apologise and live in peace. I hope my schoolmates have learnt and grown up to be better citizens and that life is kind to them even as it teaches us to be tolerant.
Kman Productions..........................

Garlic Breathe

2005-05-07T18:20:00.000+10:00

Garlic has been linked to helping aid ease colds or strengthen our bodies against certain kinds of colds (common cold ie.). I think scientists have given men, older men a better reson to eat more garlic than just to fight colds. Viagra came into the market a while back has been claimed to be the miracle drug for age striken males. For your own benefit please read no further is the topic of sex is taboo for you, read my other posts........................................................................................................
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Still with me, brace yourself for a laugh and maybe some education in the process. Reading the paper the paper has been common place for me, not for the news but for the funny akward stories they run from time to time. Yesterday was not dissapointing either, the Daily Telegraph (Sydney) ran an interesting piece about the added benefits of garlic, like stinky breathe isn't enough. It so happens that some scientists have found a link between garlic and blood flow, now for those of us who are living and not ignorant, that spells one thing for me. More blood flow will help in their bedroom antics. I really haven't gone beyond that article to verify this so called new discovery but rest assured I will be very much interested in future discoveries about garlic.
We all know garlic does more than wade off dracula, potential dates also fall through this indiscriminative net of 'garlicism'. Ease on the garlic has always been advised by those in the dating scene, but the again they now have after dinner mints. I guess our main concern is the before after dinner mints mints. ie how the hell do you keep your breathe fresh long enough such that the after dinner mints are a booster shot? Back to the wonders of garlic, these scientists have stated that just consuming more garlic isn't sufficient to induce the added blood flow benefit;a relief to most people I'd assume. The claim that the compounds in garlic just aren't enough to fully cause change and that suppliments may be required.
Important concept here could be that we are meant to buy garlic suppliments in droves and increase sales for the pharmaceutical companies. This could likely be the case and hence I am always sceptical of any new natural obtainable compound only being available in useful dosages only in tables/capsule/powder(for snotters hehe) form. So the next time your man is goes out of their way to add garlic to every meal including garlic spread at breakfast, don't worry but realise there could be problems. On the other hand they could trying to avoid any future calamities, male pride could be at stake here.
Kman has decided to dropout of college and exploit the new market for garlic, there are coffee plantations worldwide and it's time we had a garlc plantation for the sake of future generations.

Kman Productions...............................

common sense isn't that common

2005-05-03T22:43:00.000+10:00

"Use your common sense", "oh my God, that's common sense", how often have you uttered hose wrd or heard them uttured? In my few year on this earth, I have been asked a million times to employ my senses in the common way. The question however is why do you still multitudes of people still behaving like apes (maybe too harsh). Catch a bus in the morning and you will be lucky to find anyone that is jovial. Understandably none of us wants to leave the comfort of our bed, that is unless you have exams like me and can't sleep much. My main concern is aroused when the bus seats are full and people have to stand in the bus. The first standing passenger will get in, pay their fare and proceed to remain near the entrance. For some reason this is fine, next stop two more people will get in and they too will insist on lurking near the entrance. At the next stop the people there will can't make it through the aisle since passengers before don't want to move to the back of the bus.
I being the man full of common sense will try and paddle through the obstacle course of idiots lined up to get to the back of the bus. By then you'd think that they would get the picture and follow suit, how wrong. I pity the passengers who can't get into the bus and may get to work late just beacuse some idiot doesn't see the logic in moving to the back of the back. It's now like they are getting off 2 stops from their pickup, they are going to Sydney city, 30 min+ away. Hence I can conclude that common sense isn't that common. Maybe we should special classes introduced in school whose main intention is to instill in us these common senses.
You're walking along a path and their are people coming from the opposite direction, nothing amazing about that;just people walking. As you approach each other you realise that the other party will not move to their designate side of the path and two questions run through your mind. Are they gonna jump me or do they seriously think I will move onto the grass fo them? Back at home it was common courtesy to give way to another persion, that is to a resonable extent. In Sydney, Australia people don't think like that, it's a 'me' 'me' mentality and you have to give way for me. So the couple approaches and you decide for the sake of common decency to step aside as they brush by you. This isn't as annoying as the fact that un your act you have just stepped in dog Poo/shit, now you will smell of dung all day. Walk by the public park clean your second hand shoes and back to your routine, stepping aside for morons. How hard is it to keep to the left of a path. For those who have not been to Sydney, the footpath / pavement / curb is wide enough for at least two adjacent normal size people to pass without brushing each other.... Yet you will still find people that expect you to move for them, why is it that a couple holding hands expects me (just because am alone) to move aside and risk stepping on dog poo. Love might be blind but it sure isn't gonna scoop off my shoes, my suggestion remove curbs and replace them with escalators or moving curbs in opposite directions. This way you will never have to worry about landing in shit as you give way to the love birds or the overweight idiots doing their run in your space.
Kman Productions

That thong thong thong

2005-04-27T18:54:00.000+10:00

Imagine a piss of string in between your ass and that is the logic behind the thong invention. I'd like to meet the inventor and shake their hand, coming to think of it I might skip shaking their hand. I am a strong believer of invention and newer technology every day of my life but the thong has me thinking twice. It's hard enough to wear brief and nothing but boxer shorts is purchased when inner wear is required. I have been exposed to sights that would convert even the strongest of popes, pity the last one died and he should thank the Lord he didn't see what I've seen. My first experience was working in a supermaket and there was ......................
This is getting too graphical for Kman's liking so lets straight to the point. This afternoon in the library am going about my business pretending to be studying as we all do when my heart skipped 5 beats. I know this because I was on the floor legs raised when I resumed consciousness. A lady was busy reading and so were the guys behind her, now I know why there are so many people in the library, I always thought it was to read. The so called thong thong thong as Sisqo would refer to it, was taking the place of the belt and really not a sight for the eyes. I may have missed on my weekly fashion magazine and this might be the new legacy for the thong, I doubt Sisqo had this in mind when he penned the lyrics to his thong song.
How about we stick to having underwear under, only Superman and a few superheros are permited to break this code. The thong is apparently very comfortable but I don't need to see it everywhere I look, these few rogue ladies have my mind racing un-neccessarily. I aint got time to keep collapsing in the libary from shock, how about we move to my Island where underwear is exactltly that.
Then again it might hyprocitical given that I too will on somedays sag my trousers just slightly exposing the label. Well putting it into perspective I guess there is no difference bewteen us showing our boxers shorts, next time am in the library I will walk in only in boxers shorts. Let's see whether they will kick me out, who knows I might even get a few phones numbers or I might be sued for traumatising people by exposing my chicken like legs. Lets keep the thong under if we can, please................
Kman Productions........................................

smelly feet in the morning

2005-04-27T18:32:00.000+10:00

It is expected that being a university student on some occassion one may miss a shower on a couple of mornings. Let's face it we love sleep and it's also customary to procrastinate unti the day before an assignment is due before we start on it. Summer is known to be the season for light footwear and clothing, thongs to be precise (slippers/patapata/rubber open solewear) hope you know what am talking about. I will be getting back to thongs (underwear ) too, read on on this morning experience.
Class was commencing at 0930hrs aand at by then I had completed mymorning ritual, reset my alrm 5 times to get that extra minute, showered,quicktime dressing, quick breakfast and small dose of morning TV viewing. Nothing like starting a day as a couch pottato to motivate me to hurry through the day to get back to the house for more cable TV. My walk to college was 30min+ and with the sun right on my scalp, I missed on 3rd degree burn by inches. There is a reason I carry and umbrella 24-7, you might think am crazy but I already got my tan at birth and I don't need more sun exposure. If anything I think a few months at the North Pole might do me some good, only problem is black people hate the cold too.
Getting to class I had built up a bit of sweat and I could have used a swim, only problem is I can't swim. Class had started and being 5 min late the best seats were taken, I have the back seats the bastards always seem to make too much noise. Would you expect people to have nothing to say that early, if anything they are supposed to hang over (Oh! that is tomorrow morning, after a night out on Wednesday). God I love college life, we are the only 'race' with our own creed, weekends are for assignments and the rest of the week we frequent the pub,clubs and maybe just maybe attend class only if its after 1100hrs and not after lunch.
My morning was ruined by some individual near me who had really sweaty and hence smelly feet. There is nothing more disgusting like another person's filth, I can't stand my own stench after a hot or workout but this was obviously some sick individual. As mentioned aerlier I could move from that seat, my eye sight limits me to seating near the screen (we don't have blackboards anymore, chalk hasn't been used on campus for over 10yrs+, maybe more). So my ordeal wasn't relieved until the lecturer granted us a ten miute break, you'd have thought it was the 100m olympic final sprint. I dashed for nearest exit, I can't hold my breath for more than 55min and it was 56min since I had a gasp of air. Other than being slightly off colour I made through.
Xmas list has a new item, gas mask for college and those times I go to the movies, there are some people who just don't know when to wear opn shoes. Get from Kman, keep your smelly feet covered and if not powder the damn chemical spillage equivalent with air tight shoes. Nike might consider creating this kind of shoes since Adidas beat them to making a smart shoe. Imagine a shoe that adjust to your personal demands, what the hell is this? How many of us return shoes to the store because we thought we oughta get better air condition in our shoes? Nice job Adidas.
Thongs now...............
watch for the next blog, I gotta watch a movie
Kman productions..................................................................

John Keats

2005-04-22T20:11:00.000+10:00

Has life been so bad that you thought you were at breaking point? Mine has just begun to unravel and I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown + burnout and yet somehow I will make it. Today I have the pleasure of touching on a poet I had never heard of before Wednesday and may never read about; John Keats. Born in the late 18th century, an era most of us would consider barbaric and one of the most dangerous as far as health was concerned. Ibelieve they were still lynching 'witches' then, poor women. You wouldn't have wanted to be sick then either; a simple infected cut would have disastrous. I could only imagine the trauma of seeing a surgeon, may have even been better to let gangrene settle than be 'abused' by your 'doctor'. Born to a livery stable keeper on the 31st of October 1795, Keats was destined for a hard life. This isn't a biography of the poet but my admiration of a man I didn't know existed, kudos to John Keats.
John Keats was the oldest of four children as one would guess responsibility began at an early age that much hasn't changed over 300+ years.
At the tender age of 8, John lost his father through death and that would have been the beginning of a hard life for him. His poor remarried and left home, to an extent abandoning her children in the care of the grandmother. This idea still lurks in the minds of some women today, get kids leave them with their grandmother and enjoy life to the maximum. I thought having kids meant changing your lifestyle to suit your family. My belief is that once a couple or woman decides to have child/ren, there is a certain code of conduct that would be expected. Late nights would be reduced and more attention put to rearing the child/ren. (I guess am a minority here)
Keats mother returned to her family after four years and with her may have brought blight for the family. She had contracted Tuberculosis and she died 6 years after her return home, given the era there wasn't that could be done. Death was imminent and the burden of care fell on John Keats who nursed her until her death later that year. John Keats like most us was so fond of his mother that the welter of emotion she left in him is reflected in the series of adored inconstant women around him. After her death their grandmother thought it best to give custody to two London based businessmen, Richard Abbey and John Rowland Sandell. I would think they were relatives or close friends of the family, Richard Abbey took the bulk of the responsibility for these children. These gentlemen's main task would be to apprentice the children to some viable trade, no different from our era. (Attend uni/college, get a job for life; yeah right!)
Keats was apprenticed to a London hospital surgeon and I would imagine given there wasn't much in the field of anesthetic, his was a tale to tell at the local pub after hours one would hope. The again maybe a drink for breakfast would have helped them cope with the horror they faced on a daily basis. In his younger life Keats had been introduced to literature, music and the theatre by Charles Cowden; Principal’s son. In his years in medicine John Keats kept his love for poetry and would on occasions take off to read and write poetry. In 1817 his choices in life would leave no doubt that his love for poetry wasn't just a goose bump feel, or a way to meet the honeys. (come on guys you know what am talking about, going for romantic movies just to impress the ladies, wink wink. I am guilty of this old facade, doesn't work though)
John Keats graduated from medical school but abandoned the industry even before he could practice, Apothecary was his field (more like a GP I think, in this age).
The summer of 1818, he spent on a walking tour in Northern England and Scotland. His return home was marred by the ailment of his brother, Tom. He too had contracted TB and I would think this may have been rampant in that time, sanitation wasn't the priority I would guess. Not all was blue for Keats, during this time he met Fanny Brawne. A young woman whom he fell in love with and this may have contributed to the quality of his work. Keats best work is credited for the years 1818-1819, I guess love can do wonders for us men. Keats was working on "Hyperion" when Tom died; he seized writing this piece for a while. The poor bloke had to mourn, two people had died of TB in his family, lets cut him some slack people. He later re-wrote Hyperion but renamed it as "The Fall of Hyperion", unpublished until 1856.
That same autumn of 1819 Keats too contracted TB and by the following February he felt that death was already upon him, referring to the present as his "posthumous existence". July 1820 Keats published his third and best volume of poetry Lamina, Isabella, The Eve of St. Agnes and other Poems, dealing with mystical and legendary themes of ancient, medieval and Renaissance times. "Hyperion" the unfinished version was also contained in this publication. John Keats contemporaries considered fragment of Hyperion to be his greatest achievement.
Keats did continue to liaise with Fanny Brawne and when he couldn't to write her, her mother. His failing health and literary ambitions prevented their marriage and from the orders of his doctor, Keats moved to warmer Rome with Joseph Severn; good friend and a painter.
John Keats died on February 23rd 1821 at the tender age of 25 years and was buried in the Protestant Cemetery. I hope I had done justice to John Keats given I only had 2 hours to read about the poet and draw my conclusion. On a general note, it wasn’t my intent to bore you with a poet’s life.

Kman Productions.......................................

My life,the truth about it

2005-04-20T23:04:00.000+10:00

There is no glamour in my life here, just sad stories of struggle and struggle and my friends may never understand the strife in my life here.
People think that I am fortunate to have gone abroad seeking further education and to some extenct I might be. There is however a cost that comes with that and given I am not from the rich family, I struggle a lot to keep my debtors at bay. Today I just received an email that my Uni enrolment has been cancelled, no news there, it was bound to come sometime. I believe in justice but life sometimes can be cruel, but that is living. On some occassions I feel like I have been dealt with more than I can handle and giving up has never been far from my thoughts. How long can I struggle to pay my fees and yet hope to succeed academically? My mind has never been fully on my studies, 60% of my brain power concentrates on how to beat the deadline on the next bill, where to get my next session's fees. Every year I plunge into more and more debt all in the name of my education.
I do sincerely hope that I can get this done and over with, although my body can take a beating but my hope sure fades away everytime I get my enrolment cancelled. I am fed up, why couldn't I have staid at home and enjoyed govt funded education like my peers? Yes I'd have struggled after graduation but I'd have had 4 years of studying in peace. Out here, life is lonely and there very few people that would understand what I am going through. There have been people who have done it and there will be more who will go through the same ordeal if not worse. I do hope however that I can emerge stronger than I arrived here, just turned 19 when my whole life changed.
Life has never been normal for me and I think I am tired of hoping to live a normal life, you know enjoy life for once. Not worrying about checking the mail box because all I get are bills and more threats. I can't afford to live anymore and sometimes it seems like life for me is hopeless but I gotta fight on. Just a few more months and am done with my Uni for a few years anyway. I am not one to shed a tear but today I feel hopeless, it's as if someone poured cold water on me on a Winter morning. I may never enjoy my lectures because I know I could thrown out anytime, what can I do? God help me for am at the end of the line here, money is my one and only way out. I need money that I don't have, I don't want it but I do need it if am to ever graduate and use my knowledge. Just graduating would be nice and I wouldn't care if I got a job as a janitor, at least I would have a spare dollar every week to save for a pair of sock from St. Vincents or the Salvation Army. Life can be cruel at times and ..."God if you can hear me, I need your help, I have done everything I can but I can't go on like this..................

Incredible Service

2005-04-04T16:09:00.000+10:00

Have you had service that was so bad that you didn't and couldn’t even get mad? All that you can do is smile and somehow, miraculously you send angels in heaven on over drive trying to ensure that you walk away and not cause a massacre; Kman massacre, somehow rolls of the tongue with ease. I am not patient with anything let alone anyone especially if am paying fr the goods or services. If you're not doing me any favours, I expect the best service. People in positions of service will get no compromise from me, when I serve customers I give them utmost attention and the best service I can possibly give. I am there to serve them and if not I should find myself a job that doesn't require customer service.

Remember I will not relax my expectations when I am the customer, I will never be rude to an employee though (i.e. one serving me). Being rude to retail staff or any other related industry is a sign of how uncivil, rather stupid you are ( that is unless they are your little sister or brother or of shoves comes to push you can annulate them). You will find some people walk to Mc Donald’s asking for fresh burgers, fresh chips and almost to the point of having a cow tethered to the counter for this fresh eating clients. Nothing there is garden vegtable fresh and if your buying junk food the last thing you need to worry about is how many seconds the burger has been on display

<> My university has a unibar, a bar that serves both food and grog (liquor for laymen) and it just happens to be cheapest place within 20 min (the food I mean). My love for this established stems back to when I was so broke, I couldn't afford rent and food from one payslip. It was either I pay rent or eat, maybe that would explain why I never gained weight. So I ask for chips and some sauce to go with my meal and to my horror I always get sauce with some chips. Allow me to explain, the staff here will more often than not serve 'around' (i.e ignore me) me for a while and when they get to me I get all the sauce that was in the damn bottle and maybe 3-5 fries, now that's on a good day. I could buy and a gun and redecorate the establishment get some red onto the wallpaper but that would be barbaric, but I might change my mind if this was to continue. Such thoughts are only cured by playing violent video game, which probably explain all the MA 15+ game I own. I want to be civil and I do not even mention this to the staff; I might lose my temper if I try to explain that I didn’t want to drink the sauce too. I could start a recycling business for sauce but at the moment I am concentrating on my first degree.

Take today for example, am standing in queue and 3 people are served while I stand there. Forget being skipped over, am used to it but why have me wait to mess up my lunch. "May I please have a plate of chips and chilli sauce please", was I too polite using two please's in my request? Didn't I smile long enough or what was going on, was it that I was paying in coins while everyone else had a minimun $20 notes? My order came through and I guess I must stutter real bad because I got my plate dripping with chilli sauce. They mustn't have heard the chips part of the sentence. Anyhow I politely paid my $3.20 and walked to the water fountain, got my special gallon bottle and filled it. I'd need the whole gallon to quench the flames from the litres of sauce I got. I am now full and the only positive is my kidneys needn’t worry about lack of water for years to come. Thinking of it I could dine here just to get my daily water requirments on that one meal, mmh not bad for my health. "What about the fat in the chips, what do I do about my love of fat dripping chips?" I will try and bring sandwiches tomorrow; maybe I might even feel more alert. Chips used be saturated with fat, mine have taken a new turn and am more concerned about the amount of sauce I take than the fat content. Maybe I should look to healthy eating muesli and yoghurt is quite good but kmans metabolism is still faster than normal people, I need fat to burn or I will consume my own body;hence chips. Yum yum.

Kman productions.......................