Bar Note

Sitting in a high rise building, a beer in one hand my notebook in the other; pathetic life I’ve been reduced to. There is nothing sobering like a grown man sitting in a room, tears rolling down his cheeks. He seems to have nothing worthwhile left to strive for, he’s given his best and t wasn’t enough. The only highlight is sitting through an episode of Spiderman 3. For those 2hrs+, life’s hustles are gone and yes I know none of it is real; fiction to the nth degree. Life hasn’t been so easy the last few months, everything I held dear to me seems to have slipped away from me. Even more sobering is rejection, breaks a man into little pieces when you realise the world doesn’t revolve around you. I sat through the flick and all I could think of was the girl I had the pleasure of knowing. I portrayed a persona resembling Buckingham palace, suave gentleman who thought the world bowed to his power; for a while it did.

You wake up one day and realise you’re not invincible as you thought, all that stuff is in fairy tales and romantic flicks. There is no knocking on the door and being welcome with open arms, it sobers you when you’re turned down. For a few days your little world loses the essence to move on, thank God for mothers. You mother is one woman who will care for you even when everyone else grows tired. When the world seems to walk over you, mothers are there nursing you as they heap encouragement to you. Loving is hard, especially when the door is shown to you and marching orders are issued. Anger, frustration, hatred, disappointment flood in and your little world caves in. It seems like everyone else is enjoying there lives while you lie in the gutter. Alcohol can only numb you for a few days, you know you ought to pick yourself from the pitiful state and venture out. Smile while every being of you has nothing to smile about.

A friend called me in the process of writing this and I just couldn’t continue with this. I could have sworn that a tear rolled down my cheek as I spoke to my friend, she doesn’t know it but that call meant more to me than all the advice I’d received. It meant something because that was what I needed then; leny_len

Kman Productions..............