Loss

New year's eve and in a few hours we'll be ushering in 2007, just another day if you ask me. Apparently it's illegal and taboo to spend today alone, worse if you spend in at home. In the previous years I heard friends and family make resolutions and draw out targets for the coming year; most were never achieved. Those in the know profess that having written out goals is a step closer to achieving them, who am I my to contradict them. The last year has been tough, financially, mentally, physically, emotionally let's just leave it @ tough. In a few hours I can start a fresh, problem is am still the same person and probably will do the same things; hence it's just another day for me. I set goals and many a times never achieve them, problem is we aim to high most of the times. Reality always seems to escape us when we are setting our goals, one goal was to gain 10 pounds of body mass through the gym. I've not been to the gym in 2.5 years and I may not be going soon.

Loss is the heading and better get on with the narration; relationships. Every year there are numerous people getting in and out of relationships, what's new? It's one thing when you observe from a distance and it's another story when you are the one facing the incident. We've always been to quick to judge and offer advise to people in relationships that seem to facing hurdles; I know I have. The last year has taught me a few things and coming 2007, I'll be very slow in offering advise or criticizing couples that seem to be in trouble.

Humility has been preached but it's not until you face the situations that realise what exactly goes with it. What is love? People have said that's it better to have loved and lost that never to have loved at all. I beg to differ, here's my take on that (disagree with me please). Love is a choice you make, past the fuzzy feelings that you get when you meet someone there are choices you make. Remember that list you drew when you were 16? Here's mine

Intelligent
Independent
Smart
Beautiful
Lovable
Responsible
5"7 (am 6 foot tall)
Slim
Long Legs
Doesn't smoke
Doesn't Binge
etc
etc

How long have you held and searched by your list? I've spent the better part of my mature life doing just that, looking and somehow forgot a very important quality; one that actually wants you.

I've seen these qualities in many and most of the times I wasn't bold enough to say hi; chicken is the word. The biggest lesson I've learnt , regardless of how much you want someone, if they don't want you you're treading on mushy grounds. Here is where I believe choice comes in, relationships are built on choices and two people making them. A hard and painful lesson to learn.

The next time you see your friends separate, ask yourself what went wrong and before offering advise to either of the party think it through. People can work things out but only if they opt to and decide to take it for the long haul. Lessons I wish I'd learnt 2 years ago, but that is beauty of life you always get another shot eventually. Don't blow it this time and watch out that it's the two of you deciding and not a one sided event. If your smart enough you can read through the lines and the next time you see me, don't ask me the question.


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