Boy vs Man

As I grew up, I knew what I wanted to be rather what I wished I would have been, superman. I could fly and always get the pretty girl Lois, but that was just my childish imagination running wild. As an adult, Ia m expected to have rational expectations of what I ought to be and when I plan to be a few years from now. That to is fine but I do find myself caught between these two fantasies, the boyish desire to fly and be a superhero and the manly dream of being a successful engineer with a reputable career. Maybe you want to be a dentist, chemist,business guru or wait for it, in the marines and you get to carry a gun and kill infidels (too many violent video games can do this to you, I know). At what point do you stop dreaming like a child and realise that life is shitty and deals the worst blows when you least expect it? Do you ever sit watching an action movie and after it's over you feel like you have extra powers? You watched a Bruce Lee flick and you felt like you could take on the whole theatre, am I the only one?

You watch Black Hawk Down and the next thing you know your looking for a stick that slightly resembles a gun and you're behind the sofa, dodging imaginary fire while providing cover to your team in the movie (they are mostly Americans, mine are anyway). A grenade is hurled and you yell, "Cover!" before executing the new grenade bucket detonation that you hatched while in 'Lala' land. C'mon people am the only one that slides back to my boyish days when I was invincible, untouchable and most of all I could survive enemy fire for hours without casualties in my team, my execution plan would be flawless. My team always wins, they have to, they are Kman Squad and we have to win.

Now back to real life, why would you want to be in the real life when in your own little world you are happy (or so it appears)? I may never outgrow my boyish dreams, I doubt that is such a bad thing, it's seems to be one release point. I like thinking like a kid on occasion, everything isn't so complicated and you rarely have to pretend to be someone you are not, remember you a superhero and nothing is impossible with your powers. I am an engineering student and as per say people expect me to know things, I like knowing things. However the pressure to know everything is driving me nuts and I am venturing more into my superhero stance more often that before. I am about to graduate, leave formal education for a while, stand and be counted as a contributing force in society and this scares me. Can I still be the shy boy that could put two sentences to express myself, or I doomed to live into adult life for the next 50+ years?

Kman Productions.....................................