Half of Everything
Last couple of posts I have touched slightly on the numerous diets I've seen and this post will not disappoint; I hope not. My aunt has taken the meaning of dieting to a new level, starvation is an understatement. I know that Weight Watchers has a points system where clients are advised not to exceed, depending on their weight and expectations. Here is a statement has me wondering if we are housing an anorexic, "Carrot juice is making fat"! Allow me to explain, a juicer was purchased and for a while we enjoyed fresh juice. I didn't mind it at all, I actually got to try some of the best drinks I have had in ages. I had carrot, apple,orange with a touch of ginger and boy was that good. The carrot juice has a distinct flavour and with the right proportion you will enjoy it better than Boost ones. Now recall "carrot juice is making me fat"? That was my auntie after a few weeks of having nothing but carrot juice, I am shot of stuffing a 1/4 pounder down her throughout.
Here is a typical day for her
Breakfast:tea, touch of milk
Lunch: one sushi roll, if ur lucky mostly it's a small tub of watermelon
Afternoon Tea: smoothie (no idea what sort of smoothie)
Dinner: a small bowl of whatever (imagine the size of a cheese bugger, half that)
I am probably biased because this sort of dieting has me criticizing everything she eats but is this normal for a 30+ woman? Is this sort of lifestyle what dieticians are advising clients take up? Rewind 2-3 years ago, she weighed about 60-65max (ball-park figure). I understand that for a woman this is rather heavy especially with a height of about 5'7 ( I could be wrong here). Shocked yet? Did I mention that with her cup of tea she will throw in half and apple, I am assuming a full will make her fat too. So we wake up in the morning to find half an apple in the fridge and a week later it's still there. I am baffled at this extent of trying to look good, then again am a guy and have never had a weight problem. I guess Angelina Jolie's good looks (yeah am floored by her, love her hehe) aren't achieved through hard work but from malnutrition. The next diet regime as sure will be a couple of months in Africa or another 3rd world country where food is a luxury.
With the half apple there are trace of half bananas and basically half of everything fruits more so, I am surprised I haven't seen half a kiwi fruit. Anytime my sister or I cook we try our lever best make the meal balanced but we are not there counting by grams the amount of fat we are ingesting, we are very healthy; again i.e. if my sis gets her tooth pulled. That seems to be her only health problem, she has always had dental problems. I remember when all her teeth were rotten to the core, God she will kill me for saying this. Lucky for her this were her milk teeth, after they fell she got pearly whites that even I am jealous of.
Let's focus on my aunt's diet for a bit longer, imagine a skeleton structure and then add skin to it and a bit of muscle;just enough to perform basic movement routines. That is the sight I am forced to witness almost everyday, we are kicking her out soon; rebellion time. Mum left us the house and I think we should get rid of this pain in the ass dieting freak (yeah I know she's my aunt). So whenever she cooks, change that! If she cooks, all she makes is lentil soup what the hell is this people? I might not be seeing the essence of this looks but I think this is a mental problem and 'institutionalizing' might be the option. There are rehab centers for anorexic people am sure of that, maybe she ought to see a shrink. What sort of person doesn't go out because they are going to eat rubbish? This is the same person who has had a cold for the last 5 weeks and no amount of drugs seem to work, duh! Let me confess, should she contract a disease requiring hospitalization she may not recover.
I am tired of this rubbish and this too is the last I mention of this topic diets, there are better things to talk about. Oh! Am buying a camera with my tax returns, that is unless Costello demands I repay the coffers, I hope not. Have a carroty day and remember they too can make you fat, making matters worse we are talking of a nursing student. On our bad fat charts add carrots below the quater pounder and just above KFC, yum yum and I think am having tomorrow for lunch; not carrot juice! Cell physiology studies are the basic courses you undertake, I'd think.
Kman Productions...........................
Here is a typical day for her
Breakfast:tea, touch of milk
Lunch: one sushi roll, if ur lucky mostly it's a small tub of watermelon
Afternoon Tea: smoothie (no idea what sort of smoothie)
Dinner: a small bowl of whatever (imagine the size of a cheese bugger, half that)
I am probably biased because this sort of dieting has me criticizing everything she eats but is this normal for a 30+ woman? Is this sort of lifestyle what dieticians are advising clients take up? Rewind 2-3 years ago, she weighed about 60-65max (ball-park figure). I understand that for a woman this is rather heavy especially with a height of about 5'7 ( I could be wrong here). Shocked yet? Did I mention that with her cup of tea she will throw in half and apple, I am assuming a full will make her fat too. So we wake up in the morning to find half an apple in the fridge and a week later it's still there. I am baffled at this extent of trying to look good, then again am a guy and have never had a weight problem. I guess Angelina Jolie's good looks (yeah am floored by her, love her hehe) aren't achieved through hard work but from malnutrition. The next diet regime as sure will be a couple of months in Africa or another 3rd world country where food is a luxury.
With the half apple there are trace of half bananas and basically half of everything fruits more so, I am surprised I haven't seen half a kiwi fruit. Anytime my sister or I cook we try our lever best make the meal balanced but we are not there counting by grams the amount of fat we are ingesting, we are very healthy; again i.e. if my sis gets her tooth pulled. That seems to be her only health problem, she has always had dental problems. I remember when all her teeth were rotten to the core, God she will kill me for saying this. Lucky for her this were her milk teeth, after they fell she got pearly whites that even I am jealous of.
Let's focus on my aunt's diet for a bit longer, imagine a skeleton structure and then add skin to it and a bit of muscle;just enough to perform basic movement routines. That is the sight I am forced to witness almost everyday, we are kicking her out soon; rebellion time. Mum left us the house and I think we should get rid of this pain in the ass dieting freak (yeah I know she's my aunt). So whenever she cooks, change that! If she cooks, all she makes is lentil soup what the hell is this people? I might not be seeing the essence of this looks but I think this is a mental problem and 'institutionalizing' might be the option. There are rehab centers for anorexic people am sure of that, maybe she ought to see a shrink. What sort of person doesn't go out because they are going to eat rubbish? This is the same person who has had a cold for the last 5 weeks and no amount of drugs seem to work, duh! Let me confess, should she contract a disease requiring hospitalization she may not recover.
I am tired of this rubbish and this too is the last I mention of this topic diets, there are better things to talk about. Oh! Am buying a camera with my tax returns, that is unless Costello demands I repay the coffers, I hope not. Have a carroty day and remember they too can make you fat, making matters worse we are talking of a nursing student. On our bad fat charts add carrots below the quater pounder and just above KFC, yum yum and I think am having tomorrow for lunch; not carrot juice! Cell physiology studies are the basic courses you undertake, I'd think.
Kman Productions...........................
posted by kman Productions at
9:16 pm
2 Comments:
If you want to stay trim and happen to have very little money, i've found that the best solution is to spend your few lonely pennies on foods you DO NOT LIKE. I've found that these foods are usually quite cheap, so not only do you quite adequately curb the urge to overindulge, you may end up saving money, as well.
Still not convinced?
Well, since yer auntie seems bound and determined to punish herself, why not let her loose on some of these:
raw turnip slices, cans of 'creamed' corn (gah)... raw cauliflower florets(or 'untanned broccoli', as my kids say)... fried spam product, sprayable plastic cheese, pickled (uh) organs, unflavoured and overboiled beans of any sort, sprouts, uncooked tofu slices, ranch dressing... am i making my point here?
Now if you'll excuse me, i have to make a call on the big white telephone in the watercloset.
You do realise that she wastes away everyday and the food she consumes is just to keep her for the next day, if she skipped a 'meal' her body would metabolise the little muscle she has then move to the skeletal frame she has. Oh! Here's the funny part, she bought a yoga mat to build a six pack. A pack of six isn't achieved by just doing sit-ups, you need to exercise and tone the whole body to appreciate that elusive six pack. Speaking of which I need to get back to the gym,soon she'll saw her mouth shut. Talk of a cheap date, you wouldn't take her out you'd feel too guity even thinking of brussel sprouts.
Kman
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