too metro?

We've all heard of the term metro-sexual being used to describe the new age man that likes to take extra care of themselves. Generally we know that we guys don't really like the grooming aspect of social lives and in most cases would prefer to wear the same pants we wore ten years ago. I guess it is just part of the make up of many men, not me. I have been cursed and blessed all in one, living with women since a very young age;5. It's one thing to grow to chose to be neat and well groomed but it is entirely different if it's forced on you by 'well wishers'. I doubt there is anything I haven't seen as far as women fashion is concerned, I remember the MC Hammer pants and boy did I hate them, I tried them on and never again (Ops! that was a secret though, damn). At the tender age of 12 I knew all about deodrant even though I hadn't began to perspire like a man. Kids really don't sweat that much unless it's during lunch time sport or when trying evade the neighbours hound. All the same I was well aware that roll-on existed even though it would serve me no purpose, not for another 2.5yrs. What can I say I am late bloomer, didn't begin shaving until about last year. For crying out loud first real shave at around 23 years of age? Then they dare convince me that I am lucky to have avoided the curse of facial hair, I think not. In high school most of my mates were spotting full grown beards while I was still the "baby's ass" face, smooth as a whistle.

It can be daunting having all your mates shave and there you are still playing with action figures, I couldn't shave so I had to kill time. The morning ritual was simple, get into the bath and instead of shaving I would try and drown captain planet. For most of the time I felt like an idiot but now I finally understand that I was the lucky one. The only problem is that now I have to shave every month or so, sometimes two months but then I feel that the .005mm of facial hair is denying me of vital nutrients. We wouldn't want all the healthy stuff being used to grow one strand of hair would we. Now the hair on my head is another story, grows like it's paying penance for my chin and cheeks. Ruthless hair growth has been recorded in the history of barbar visits, very 2-3 weeks I will visit one.

Women in the house and I have picked up on the essential aspects of perfect grooming, I even enjoy shopping. Shouldn't I be out in the field breaking my colar bone or fracturing my ribs or jaw? I even have a wider collection of shoes than my sister and I might be fast approaching my mother mark, given ample time and higher pay I will one day have the biggest footware collection. It's a pity men's shoes are expensive, nothing good is less than $100 and you can imagine the bank balance after a shoe buying spree. I guess that is the only real reason I haven't got 30+ pairs like mama does but am getting there, sooner than expected.

If shoes aren't enough, I have also realised that I am fond of cologne and as you would know they don't come cheap either. I just don't get the obsession with personal grooming and am thinking it's partially because I saw this happen in my house for as long as I can remember. Paps wasn't there for most of the childhood so I guess the ladies left their mark, mom aunties and second cousins all of whom were women too. Is it a wonder that before I leave the house I will have checked myself in the mirror at least 3 times and I know it doesn't help that I have mild OC behaviour. I don't mind shaking hands so long as it's nt guys, they just will not wash their hands anymore. Could explain why M Jackson wore the glove all too often.

Oh! One last thing, I have just realised I have hand lotion, body lotion and facial lotion even 2 types of lip-balm.Call them metro, I would be more of the gay type but loves women. I guess the proof would be my room, I hate cleaning it proof am straight just too fussy.

Kman Productions.................................