That thong thong thong

Imagine a piss of string in between your ass and that is the logic behind the thong invention. I'd like to meet the inventor and shake their hand, coming to think of it I might skip shaking their hand. I am a strong believer of invention and newer technology every day of my life but the thong has me thinking twice. It's hard enough to wear brief and nothing but boxer shorts is purchased when inner wear is required. I have been exposed to sights that would convert even the strongest of popes, pity the last one died and he should thank the Lord he didn't see what I've seen. My first experience was working in a supermaket and there was ......................
This is getting too graphical for Kman's liking so lets straight to the point. This afternoon in the library am going about my business pretending to be studying as we all do when my heart skipped 5 beats. I know this because I was on the floor legs raised when I resumed consciousness. A lady was busy reading and so were the guys behind her, now I know why there are so many people in the library, I always thought it was to read. The so called thong thong thong as Sisqo would refer to it, was taking the place of the belt and really not a sight for the eyes. I may have missed on my weekly fashion magazine and this might be the new legacy for the thong, I doubt Sisqo had this in mind when he penned the lyrics to his thong song.
How about we stick to having underwear under, only Superman and a few superheros are permited to break this code. The thong is apparently very comfortable but I don't need to see it everywhere I look, these few rogue ladies have my mind racing un-neccessarily. I aint got time to keep collapsing in the libary from shock, how about we move to my Island where underwear is exactltly that.
Then again it might hyprocitical given that I too will on somedays sag my trousers just slightly exposing the label. Well putting it into perspective I guess there is no difference bewteen us showing our boxers shorts, next time am in the library I will walk in only in boxers shorts. Let's see whether they will kick me out, who knows I might even get a few phones numbers or I might be sued for traumatising people by exposing my chicken like legs. Lets keep the thong under if we can, please................
Kman Productions........................................

smelly feet in the morning

It is expected that being a university student on some occassion one may miss a shower on a couple of mornings. Let's face it we love sleep and it's also customary to procrastinate unti the day before an assignment is due before we start on it. Summer is known to be the season for light footwear and clothing, thongs to be precise (slippers/patapata/rubber open solewear) hope you know what am talking about. I will be getting back to thongs (underwear ) too, read on on this morning experience.
Class was commencing at 0930hrs aand at by then I had completed mymorning ritual, reset my alrm 5 times to get that extra minute, showered,quicktime dressing, quick breakfast and small dose of morning TV viewing. Nothing like starting a day as a couch pottato to motivate me to hurry through the day to get back to the house for more cable TV. My walk to college was 30min+ and with the sun right on my scalp, I missed on 3rd degree burn by inches. There is a reason I carry and umbrella 24-7, you might think am crazy but I already got my tan at birth and I don't need more sun exposure. If anything I think a few months at the North Pole might do me some good, only problem is black people hate the cold too.
Getting to class I had built up a bit of sweat and I could have used a swim, only problem is I can't swim. Class had started and being 5 min late the best seats were taken, I have the back seats the bastards always seem to make too much noise. Would you expect people to have nothing to say that early, if anything they are supposed to hang over (Oh! that is tomorrow morning, after a night out on Wednesday). God I love college life, we are the only 'race' with our own creed, weekends are for assignments and the rest of the week we frequent the pub,clubs and maybe just maybe attend class only if its after 1100hrs and not after lunch.
My morning was ruined by some individual near me who had really sweaty and hence smelly feet. There is nothing more disgusting like another person's filth, I can't stand my own stench after a hot or workout but this was obviously some sick individual. As mentioned aerlier I could move from that seat, my eye sight limits me to seating near the screen (we don't have blackboards anymore, chalk hasn't been used on campus for over 10yrs+, maybe more). So my ordeal wasn't relieved until the lecturer granted us a ten miute break, you'd have thought it was the 100m olympic final sprint. I dashed for nearest exit, I can't hold my breath for more than 55min and it was 56min since I had a gasp of air. Other than being slightly off colour I made through.
Xmas list has a new item, gas mask for college and those times I go to the movies, there are some people who just don't know when to wear opn shoes. Get from Kman, keep your smelly feet covered and if not powder the damn chemical spillage equivalent with air tight shoes. Nike might consider creating this kind of shoes since Adidas beat them to making a smart shoe. Imagine a shoe that adjust to your personal demands, what the hell is this? How many of us return shoes to the store because we thought we oughta get better air condition in our shoes? Nice job Adidas.
Thongs now...............
watch for the next blog, I gotta watch a movie
Kman productions..................................................................

John Keats

Has life been so bad that you thought you were at breaking point? Mine has just begun to unravel and I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown + burnout and yet somehow I will make it. Today I have the pleasure of touching on a poet I had never heard of before Wednesday and may never read about; John Keats. Born in the late 18th century, an era most of us would consider barbaric and one of the most dangerous as far as health was concerned. Ibelieve they were still lynching 'witches' then, poor women. You wouldn't have wanted to be sick then either; a simple infected cut would have disastrous. I could only imagine the trauma of seeing a surgeon, may have even been better to let gangrene settle than be 'abused' by your 'doctor'. Born to a livery stable keeper on the 31st of October 1795, Keats was destined for a hard life. This isn't a biography of the poet but my admiration of a man I didn't know existed, kudos to John Keats.
John Keats was the oldest of four children as one would guess responsibility began at an early age that much hasn't changed over 300+ years.
At the tender age of 8, John lost his father through death and that would have been the beginning of a hard life for him. His poor remarried and left home, to an extent abandoning her children in the care of the grandmother. This idea still lurks in the minds of some women today, get kids leave them with their grandmother and enjoy life to the maximum. I thought having kids meant changing your lifestyle to suit your family. My belief is that once a couple or woman decides to have child/ren, there is a certain code of conduct that would be expected. Late nights would be reduced and more attention put to rearing the child/ren. (I guess am a minority here)
Keats mother returned to her family after four years and with her may have brought blight for the family. She had contracted Tuberculosis and she died 6 years after her return home, given the era there wasn't that could be done. Death was imminent and the burden of care fell on John Keats who nursed her until her death later that year. John Keats like most us was so fond of his mother that the welter of emotion she left in him is reflected in the series of adored inconstant women around him. After her death their grandmother thought it best to give custody to two London based businessmen, Richard Abbey and John Rowland Sandell. I would think they were relatives or close friends of the family, Richard Abbey took the bulk of the responsibility for these children. These gentlemen's main task would be to apprentice the children to some viable trade, no different from our era. (Attend uni/college, get a job for life; yeah right!)
Keats was apprenticed to a London hospital surgeon and I would imagine given there wasn't much in the field of anesthetic, his was a tale to tell at the local pub after hours one would hope. The again maybe a drink for breakfast would have helped them cope with the horror they faced on a daily basis. In his younger life Keats had been introduced to literature, music and the theatre by Charles Cowden; Principal’s son. In his years in medicine John Keats kept his love for poetry and would on occasions take off to read and write poetry. In 1817 his choices in life would leave no doubt that his love for poetry wasn't just a goose bump feel, or a way to meet the honeys. (come on guys you know what am talking about, going for romantic movies just to impress the ladies, wink wink. I am guilty of this old facade, doesn't work though)
John Keats graduated from medical school but abandoned the industry even before he could practice, Apothecary was his field (more like a GP I think, in this age).
The summer of 1818, he spent on a walking tour in Northern England and Scotland. His return home was marred by the ailment of his brother, Tom. He too had contracted TB and I would think this may have been rampant in that time, sanitation wasn't the priority I would guess. Not all was blue for Keats, during this time he met Fanny Brawne. A young woman whom he fell in love with and this may have contributed to the quality of his work. Keats best work is credited for the years 1818-1819, I guess love can do wonders for us men. Keats was working on "Hyperion" when Tom died; he seized writing this piece for a while. The poor bloke had to mourn, two people had died of TB in his family, lets cut him some slack people. He later re-wrote Hyperion but renamed it as "The Fall of Hyperion", unpublished until 1856.
That same autumn of 1819 Keats too contracted TB and by the following February he felt that death was already upon him, referring to the present as his "posthumous existence". July 1820 Keats published his third and best volume of poetry Lamina, Isabella, The Eve of St. Agnes and other Poems, dealing with mystical and legendary themes of ancient, medieval and Renaissance times. "Hyperion" the unfinished version was also contained in this publication. John Keats contemporaries considered fragment of Hyperion to be his greatest achievement.
Keats did continue to liaise with Fanny Brawne and when he couldn't to write her, her mother. His failing health and literary ambitions prevented their marriage and from the orders of his doctor, Keats moved to warmer Rome with Joseph Severn; good friend and a painter.
John Keats died on February 23rd 1821 at the tender age of 25 years and was buried in the Protestant Cemetery. I hope I had done justice to John Keats given I only had 2 hours to read about the poet and draw my conclusion. On a general note, it wasn’t my intent to bore you with a poet’s life.

Kman Productions.......................................

My life,the truth about it

There is no glamour in my life here, just sad stories of struggle and struggle and my friends may never understand the strife in my life here.
People think that I am fortunate to have gone abroad seeking further education and to some extenct I might be. There is however a cost that comes with that and given I am not from the rich family, I struggle a lot to keep my debtors at bay. Today I just received an email that my Uni enrolment has been cancelled, no news there, it was bound to come sometime. I believe in justice but life sometimes can be cruel, but that is living. On some occassions I feel like I have been dealt with more than I can handle and giving up has never been far from my thoughts. How long can I struggle to pay my fees and yet hope to succeed academically? My mind has never been fully on my studies, 60% of my brain power concentrates on how to beat the deadline on the next bill, where to get my next session's fees. Every year I plunge into more and more debt all in the name of my education.
I do sincerely hope that I can get this done and over with, although my body can take a beating but my hope sure fades away everytime I get my enrolment cancelled. I am fed up, why couldn't I have staid at home and enjoyed govt funded education like my peers? Yes I'd have struggled after graduation but I'd have had 4 years of studying in peace. Out here, life is lonely and there very few people that would understand what I am going through. There have been people who have done it and there will be more who will go through the same ordeal if not worse. I do hope however that I can emerge stronger than I arrived here, just turned 19 when my whole life changed.
Life has never been normal for me and I think I am tired of hoping to live a normal life, you know enjoy life for once. Not worrying about checking the mail box because all I get are bills and more threats. I can't afford to live anymore and sometimes it seems like life for me is hopeless but I gotta fight on. Just a few more months and am done with my Uni for a few years anyway. I am not one to shed a tear but today I feel hopeless, it's as if someone poured cold water on me on a Winter morning. I may never enjoy my lectures because I know I could thrown out anytime, what can I do? God help me for am at the end of the line here, money is my one and only way out. I need money that I don't have, I don't want it but I do need it if am to ever graduate and use my knowledge. Just graduating would be nice and I wouldn't care if I got a job as a janitor, at least I would have a spare dollar every week to save for a pair of sock from St. Vincents or the Salvation Army. Life can be cruel at times and ..."God if you can hear me, I need your help, I have done everything I can but I can't go on like this..................

Incredible Service

Have you had service that was so bad that you didn't and couldn’t even get mad? All that you can do is smile and somehow, miraculously you send angels in heaven on over drive trying to ensure that you walk away and not cause a massacre; Kman massacre, somehow rolls of the tongue with ease. I am not patient with anything let alone anyone especially if am paying fr the goods or services. If you're not doing me any favours, I expect the best service. People in positions of service will get no compromise from me, when I serve customers I give them utmost attention and the best service I can possibly give. I am there to serve them and if not I should find myself a job that doesn't require customer service.

Remember I will not relax my expectations when I am the customer, I will never be rude to an employee though (i.e. one serving me). Being rude to retail staff or any other related industry is a sign of how uncivil, rather stupid you are ( that is unless they are your little sister or brother or of shoves comes to push you can annulate them). You will find some people walk to Mc Donald’s asking for fresh burgers, fresh chips and almost to the point of having a cow tethered to the counter for this fresh eating clients. Nothing there is garden vegtable fresh and if your buying junk food the last thing you need to worry about is how many seconds the burger has been on display

<> My university has a unibar, a bar that serves both food and grog (liquor for laymen) and it just happens to be cheapest place within 20 min (the food I mean). My love for this established stems back to when I was so broke, I couldn't afford rent and food from one payslip. It was either I pay rent or eat, maybe that would explain why I never gained weight. So I ask for chips and some sauce to go with my meal and to my horror I always get sauce with some chips. Allow me to explain, the staff here will more often than not serve 'around' (i.e ignore me) me for a while and when they get to me I get all the sauce that was in the damn bottle and maybe 3-5 fries, now that's on a good day. I could buy and a gun and redecorate the establishment get some red onto the wallpaper but that would be barbaric, but I might change my mind if this was to continue. Such thoughts are only cured by playing violent video game, which probably explain all the MA 15+ game I own. I want to be civil and I do not even mention this to the staff; I might lose my temper if I try to explain that I didn’t want to drink the sauce too. I could start a recycling business for sauce but at the moment I am concentrating on my first degree.

Take today for example, am standing in queue and 3 people are served while I stand there. Forget being skipped over, am used to it but why have me wait to mess up my lunch. "May I please have a plate of chips and chilli sauce please", was I too polite using two please's in my request? Didn't I smile long enough or what was going on, was it that I was paying in coins while everyone else had a minimun $20 notes? My order came through and I guess I must stutter real bad because I got my plate dripping with chilli sauce. They mustn't have heard the chips part of the sentence. Anyhow I politely paid my $3.20 and walked to the water fountain, got my special gallon bottle and filled it. I'd need the whole gallon to quench the flames from the litres of sauce I got. I am now full and the only positive is my kidneys needn’t worry about lack of water for years to come. Thinking of it I could dine here just to get my daily water requirments on that one meal, mmh not bad for my health. "What about the fat in the chips, what do I do about my love of fat dripping chips?" I will try and bring sandwiches tomorrow; maybe I might even feel more alert. Chips used be saturated with fat, mine have taken a new turn and am more concerned about the amount of sauce I take than the fat content. Maybe I should look to healthy eating muesli and yoghurt is quite good but kmans metabolism is still faster than normal people, I need fat to burn or I will consume my own body;hence chips. Yum yum.

Kman productions.......................

Allergies

Really bad day, took the day off to attend a one day course and it wasn’t as exciting as I thought. The day away from work was good but between learning ‘new’ things and balancing my breathing, there was little room for fun. Today I woke up feeling rather off weather and I forgot to pack my packet of tissues, bad move for a cold. Good thing is that I only sneeze and rarely get a runny nose, today however I did get a runny nose and the tissues I had weren’t going be enough. Anybody who has ever made the mistake of using hand napkin to relief your nose knows how bad they can be. For allergy sufferers, my deepest sympathy these (napkins) may solve the present discomfort but they will reap havoc on your sensitive nasal passage. For my case am very sensitive to particles in the air and the sort of tissue used has to pass rigorous quality control, ductility and tensile strength are important as you wouldn’t want the tissues to break at the worst of moments. A bit of product placement I will only use Kleenex brad f tissues and they have to be the hypo allergic type. Back to my tale of a runny nose and no tissues, it’s very embarrassing having to keep blowing your nose but then again under this circumstances there isn’t much one can do.
Now this is worse, I am sitting in day surgery at my doctor's medical center. I have just forked out $70 just to have him tell what I already know. The last time I was ill my employer refused to pay me and now I have to spend this much just to get my entitled sick leave. I have complained about this and here I am stuck paying hefty fees, speaking of which I should have been a doctor. $70 for less than 5 minutes of his time. The best I might pull at my career as an engineer might be $200 an hour, then again most of my pay will not be per the hour but per annum of per project. This may be good but will never compare to doctor's pays. I was highlighting my bad day and here I am stuck wishing I were an MD. Let's do that math for sec, $70*60/5 = 840. Take away the hefty tax and he still has at least $400 per hour. Why would anyone not want to be a doctor? Of course there is the obvious reason that we can't all be doctors and some of us will have to serve the as waiters at cafes and some collect garbage. But I hope that will not be my field, I want the money making field which may not be as an engineer. I love engineering and I would do it at almost zero pay but think about it. $400 an hour!I just might forge my degree to an MD after I get it in few months time 18months to be exact. The only problem would be how would I get the medical work experience pulled out.
There were days at my grandparents farm when I helped dock a lambs tail and I get that would help me diagnose colds and all. That just might it, my way out docking of lambs to surgery. I wonder how bad the malpractice suits against me would be? For now I hope that my insurance will reimburses me. I wonder what my employer will say if the doctor gives me the weekend off? I love my job but the boss doesn't cut anyone slack and so I will take my sick leave. I requested a few days off for sick leave and he refused, well now what can he do?
Unfortunately my wait for a doctor took more than an hour and even though I wasn't feeling good and had no option, I'd love if the govt. would do something about the shortage of medical practitioners. I used to wait for the less than 20min less than 3 years ago, now your better off booking an appointment long before you're ill. I should book my next appointment for 2 months from now.
kman productions.

Finally GROWING up?

For those that have had the pleasure (or pain i.e. most of you) of knowing know that I am very adamant about marriage. I once confessed that I wouldn't be bothered until I turned 30+, yes 30+ that is more than 6 years from now. Having said that, I think I am now changing my notion of this holy age of 30. Before I get irrational emails, I am not getting married. Just read on and hang up on tailor, no cake yet, not from me anyway. I have made several observations over the last year or so and I am amazed at how many of the people I have worked with or met before have settled down and had kids. Nothing wrong with that you might think, yeah? They are younger than I am, one kid I told me he was joining the navy serve the country. Good for him, I saw the navy boy today full grown beard and carrying a baby bag. The partner was pushing a pram. Unless he was on some convert mission protecting the kid and mother or the navy has changed rules on facial hair, who knows. This young man appeared happy making faces at the child; a sight to cherish even for I, the die hard never shed a tear type.

This and a few other sites have had me think twice about the 30+, some of us are for careers then families while some will begin start families in the early 20s. I think we need both and good on the young man I saw today. I hope they aren't struggling financially. I know they get govt. support, bringing me to the next point. If I were a citizen here, I could get family aid if I decided to spawn kihanyas, if I choose the career I pay for the young couples to have kids. I don't mind this but what would I get? Am not supporting any family of my own but the govt. has me supporting another man's child. Don't get wrong I love kids, they are lovely to watch but the concept isn’t really balanced.

I saw this one kid and I thought, "I can't wait to be a dad". "Daaad, can I please have these? No Pleeeease! No. Pretty please with a cherry? No, read my lips." There's my version of being firm, now you should probably know I was saying no to buying them school clothes and shoes. "In my days we didn't have shoes, we wore them until they were tattered." How often have parents mentioned that to their kids? Who cares what you did in your days? I pray and work wisely that my family will never have to hear me say that (parents say that when they are broke and frustrated). Personally in my days we played soccer with the local kids. We even played against high school kids while I was barely knew 5 feet tall. My boys then were cool, we were mischievous and contrary to what our parents thought we weren't angels. My brother on the other hand started with an expensive bike, courtesy of his big brother, then a play station from his uncle, now he wants a laptop for gaming. That is a long leap from making your own soccer balls to microsofting everything. He will play his soccer indoors, not indoor soccer but on the computer. I don't mind that and I don't even mention how I never had any of the fancy gadgets he now possesses. Good for him.

Back to my growing up theme, I have admitted that I love kids am not saying I can stand baby sitting anybodies kids though. I would knock them against a wall and then get back to my computer, but I do love them though. My point is I have begun to appreciate people that opt to have families for if they waited for me, mankind would be endangered for sure. For your information I am not getting all mushy and soft, just facts plain facts and maybe there is a heart after all; just maybe
Kman productions