I hate you!!!

After a shower it's customary or courteous to rid the bathroom of hair that may have been shed. It's very natural for some people to have hair from all parts of their bodies to somewhat its way onto the tub/floor. In our case we have a tub and the shower head is also in the tub, typical apartments in the northen beaches. Without sounding judgmental what sort of person has a shower, dries themselves and leave the bath tub crawling with hair; don't even wonna know where from? Is this happening in other houses or am I stuck with one untidy SOB? Seriously women are meant to be the role models of cleanliness and at least 3 times a week I have to rinse the damn tub myself. How do you tell someone to wash their bloody hair away as they finish their business in the tub? Last I checked I didn't shed hair, razors are sold for a reason I believe. Trimming body hair where possible should be made compulsory, pity Bob Carr quit;we'd have had it into state law before 2006.

My sister too has had her share of having to rid the tub of hair and she has almost but lost her mind; wouldn't blame her would we. I guess you're wondering who the ape in the house is huh? Read the previous blog and you may have an inclination as to who is currently on my shit list. Apparently her stay was meant to be short-lived but that is over a year ago, one can't help but wonder how many more months of this shit we are gonna endure. Shedding hair isn't as bad as living with your niece and nephew and having them pick up all the house bills and clean after you. We too are all college students with part time jobs and are time poor, I doubt nursing is more stressful than Computer Engineering. Doing dishes appears to be asking too much, she claims to be too tired from work she doesn't like to cook either; try eating extra food you goon. If we too could avoid cooking we would, we don't survive on half apples and SAO crackers with lettuce so we have to cook. We all work and being tired is no excuse, you bread crumb! This is a month of anger I think, I am hoping that next month is better or I might cross the line as far as blogs are concerned. I'd hate to..................(I might break the keypad on my computer, am mad!). Now you know what I hate, maybe hate is too strong a word maybe not....... I have to end this before I slit her throat. Argh!

Kman Productions..................

Half of Everything

Last couple of posts I have touched slightly on the numerous diets I've seen and this post will not disappoint; I hope not. My aunt has taken the meaning of dieting to a new level, starvation is an understatement. I know that Weight Watchers has a points system where clients are advised not to exceed, depending on their weight and expectations. Here is a statement has me wondering if we are housing an anorexic, "Carrot juice is making fat"! Allow me to explain, a juicer was purchased and for a while we enjoyed fresh juice. I didn't mind it at all, I actually got to try some of the best drinks I have had in ages. I had carrot, apple,orange with a touch of ginger and boy was that good. The carrot juice has a distinct flavour and with the right proportion you will enjoy it better than Boost ones. Now recall "carrot juice is making me fat"? That was my auntie after a few weeks of having nothing but carrot juice, I am shot of stuffing a 1/4 pounder down her throughout.

Here is a typical day for her

Breakfast:tea, touch of milk
Lunch: one sushi roll, if ur lucky mostly it's a small tub of watermelon
Afternoon Tea: smoothie (no idea what sort of smoothie)
Dinner: a small bowl of whatever (imagine the size of a cheese bugger, half that)

I am probably biased because this sort of dieting has me criticizing everything she eats but is this normal for a 30+ woman? Is this sort of lifestyle what dieticians are advising clients take up? Rewind 2-3 years ago, she weighed about 60-65max (ball-park figure). I understand that for a woman this is rather heavy especially with a height of about 5'7 ( I could be wrong here). Shocked yet? Did I mention that with her cup of tea she will throw in half and apple, I am assuming a full will make her fat too. So we wake up in the morning to find half an apple in the fridge and a week later it's still there. I am baffled at this extent of trying to look good, then again am a guy and have never had a weight problem. I guess Angelina Jolie's good looks (yeah am floored by her, love her hehe) aren't achieved through hard work but from malnutrition. The next diet regime as sure will be a couple of months in Africa or another 3rd world country where food is a luxury.

With the half apple there are trace of half bananas and basically half of everything fruits more so, I am surprised I haven't seen half a kiwi fruit. Anytime my sister or I cook we try our lever best make the meal balanced but we are not there counting by grams the amount of fat we are ingesting, we are very healthy; again i.e. if my sis gets her tooth pulled. That seems to be her only health problem, she has always had dental problems. I remember when all her teeth were rotten to the core, God she will kill me for saying this. Lucky for her this were her milk teeth, after they fell she got pearly whites that even I am jealous of.

Let's focus on my aunt's diet for a bit longer, imagine a skeleton structure and then add skin to it and a bit of muscle;just enough to perform basic movement routines. That is the sight I am forced to witness almost everyday, we are kicking her out soon; rebellion time. Mum left us the house and I think we should get rid of this pain in the ass dieting freak (yeah I know she's my aunt). So whenever she cooks, change that! If she cooks, all she makes is lentil soup what the hell is this people? I might not be seeing the essence of this looks but I think this is a mental problem and 'institutionalizing' might be the option. There are rehab centers for anorexic people am sure of that, maybe she ought to see a shrink. What sort of person doesn't go out because they are going to eat rubbish? This is the same person who has had a cold for the last 5 weeks and no amount of drugs seem to work, duh! Let me confess, should she contract a disease requiring hospitalization she may not recover.

I am tired of this rubbish and this too is the last I mention of this topic diets, there are better things to talk about. Oh! Am buying a camera with my tax returns, that is unless Costello demands I repay the coffers, I hope not. Have a carroty day and remember they too can make you fat, making matters worse we are talking of a nursing student. On our bad fat charts add carrots below the quater pounder and just above KFC, yum yum and I think am having tomorrow for lunch; not carrot juice! Cell physiology studies are the basic courses you undertake, I'd think.

Kman Productions...........................

War Of the Chupa Chups

I have finally become a vandal; all in the name Starburst babies (sweets). I am at North Wollongong train station waiting for my train to Sydney, can’t stand anymore of that town. Pity I have to be there for another 1.5yrs, then bounce and might not even return for my graduation. I had just come from a supplementary test that would determine whether I get a vacation home or not. If I pass this test I am all but set to catch the next flight out of the country after the spring session, 11 weeks from now. North Wollongong train station has the usual unreliable vending machines designed by Henry VIII back in the 2^nd century. You put your money and you’ll be lucky if you actually anything, I’d rather get a coke instead of a sprite than getting nothing at all. Today was no exception and I put in my precious $3.10 for my lollies, the spring rolls and just when the bag is about the fall into the shoot, you guessed it! Damn! I am not going to kick this machine and nor am I wasting my precious money calling their customer service demanding 3100cents.

The only thing I could do was watch as my bag of lollies teases me, millimeters from the falling. Obviously the people standing next to me are more experience because one of the girls there offered to kick the hell out of the vending machine. It’s not often that people offer assistance and I generally decline, I was gonna take care of this my way. Violence isn’t the answer and I have tried to live by that code for many years, “to kick or not to kick”. I wonder what Shakespeare would do in this situation; I forgot my WWJD bands at home so I wasn’t waiting for help from that avenue. Screw it, right above me was the CCTV camera and I am sure there is going to be a man hunt tomorrow and hence I am not resuming college until the heat cools off. I can’t afford to spend a few days in the joint; maybe if I have nothing else to do I might book myself in just for the hell of it. Boy did I kick that machine.

Funny how everybody then turned into saints, I could tell by the stares that they weren’t impressed. Then again were they going to refund me or get me another bag? This had turned into war; War of the chupa chups, forget Tom Cruise’s. Plenty of witness that could potentially help put me behind bars, should the vending machine company file a complaint. What sort of conversation would that make in the joint, “what are you in for? Murder! Robbery! Assault! Love of Starburst lollies! I am sure I’d be cleaning dirty for the rest of my stay; God knows what else would accompany me.

Kman Productions.........................

Goths rock!!!!!!

I know this might sound sily but I just had an incredible idea, I wonna join a goth fraternity. I am in the Sydney State library and a few tables infront of there are 2 people, can't tell if both are chicks; who know. Anyway one is definitely a chick unless it's one male with serious mammary gland issues(man boobs, EeeW!), definitely a chick. Either that or am turning gay, I hope am not. Anyway I guess too much computer science has driven me to the edge and now I wonna join the Goths, I wonder if it's open to black people? Maybe in my case they'd allow me to wear white, given am black and they might not see me that well. I have no problem polishing my nails black or wearing eye pencil, only problem would be I might need lots of white make up to get pale. One question though, do goths eat meat? I am not giving up meat for nobody, those steaks are damn too delicious even to join the Goths.

I wonder where I can get my curly short hair all spiky, make up is no issue maybe I could buy a wig but that would look too fake. I have watched my sister go through beauty college for last 18months. I have picked up lots of trick and ways of applying make up. Could be the process of coming out of the closet, only problem is I am not gay. So forget coming out and help me get into the heart of the Goth community. One problem the lad, yes his behaviour has led to the deduction he is male. He has a roll of paper towel on which he has drawn amazing art work, I should start minding my own business. There are certain people that one can watch all day, this group was one of them and they have aroused my fascination with goths. Should try it for a month, after my exam this Thursday and see how I like but as I said I am sticking to meat; something about blood I guess
Kman Productions......................................

Another habit I have developed is guessing who had botox injections and on my lunch break guess who stops at the lights? A black Bentley with 2 older women (ok, old women) but their faces were rather too shiny, more like polished wood. Now am guessing many women try to avoid shiny faces and hence they pad themselves quite often. I am not cosmetic surgeon but their faces didn't match their hands or necks. Even though I am short sighted, with my glasses I have 20-20 if not better. So turkey neck and shiny faces = botox injections, don't get me wrong the bentley was classy. I wouldn't mind being in one of those but the driver might need to accept old age is a part of life. Soon I will write about women and make i.e. from what I have observed. I am sure I will offend a lot of people but as I said 18 months has taught me a lot about make up and beauty treatment;I've been the guinea pig folks!

Random bag checks

Shoot to kill is the policy in most countries in regards to terror suspects, I don't argue with that. After the incidents in London one would understand the quick-trigger itch that may be ailing some law enforcers. I totally understand that an officer may prefer to open fire than risk being blown up with the rest of the public. There is one question that we fail to ask, how sure are the enforcers that the person poses a genuine threat? I will never condemn an officer for opening fire on a suspect under terror conditions, I would do the same. That would explain why I want to join the military and deploy as soon as possible;not to kill but protect. Ideally my family will not have it so the next best thing for me is video games, I can get shot 10 times and still make through to the next level. Savvy gamers know all about the cheats and can get infinite life, ammo and fire power, the most damage I incur is poor eyesight. I am now short sighted and prefer low light to bright light, photo-phobia is what the optometrist told me. A story for another day, once addicted to games I was. I am now a recovering addict, withdrawal still lingers even 2 years after I stopped activerly playing; too busy with uni and work now.

Civil liberties will be put aside as we try to protect ourselves from terror and I don't mind having my bags checks every so often so long as it's not after a session at the gym; Hazmat might be called in. Wouldn't you feel better that they are actually searching your bags, isn't that we what want; to be protected. Don't you get the feeling these so called random bag checks will not work, how random will they be? The news we get everyday is that most of the terrorists we have seen on TV appear to be of Arabic or somehow wonnabe Muslims. I have to be careful not to insight hate here because the last thing I want is to vilify anybody, there is enough of that in main stream media circles. Here are the facts we are faced with, majority of these thugs are kinda dark skinned so some people will not be checked. I understand this too, if black people were commiting crimes, I wouldn't head to the northern beaches(where I live) to investigate; simple logic. My problem is 'random bag checks', in the past few weeks all the supposedly checks have been televised, am I blind or are these guys of Asian descent too.

In New York 5 British tourists were frogmarched off the bus, for what? Asian descent and acting suspiciously, appears to be all it takes to have commandos raid a tourist bus. I know am not dressing thug style anymore,forget oversized clothes even in Summer, could seen as carrying TNT in my ass with those low hanging Jeans. I should head to Meyer and buy a few formal shirts, black pants, Smiths leather shoes and ditch the back-pack; clear plastic bags . I wouldn't want lead(cap burst in my ass, for those of you playing at home) lodged in my brain, I understand there isn't much learning one can achieve after this. Plus, given the accuracy of the British elite, 8 shots and none missed? What are the odds, none one is that accurate or so I thought. I am not gonna gamble that the Sydney squad can't aim.............

Oh! One more thing, next time you see men in body armour and automatic weapons running in your direction, stop raise your hands and try and recalling that kindergarten/nursery prayer. The one you learnt before prayers were banned in schools, that one. Oh Lord please forgive me ........................Amen, that is for those who do believe. For all you know they could be acting on flawed intel, comply and you'd rather get an apology from the cops than a state sponsored funeral. I know I aint paying for my own funreal if they shoot me, am putting that in my will as I speak. In these situations it might be worth finding faith, just don't go radical or we'll be putting your ass on the "to do list " too; target practise list. Hey what happened to Osama? Are we still trying to find him or what?

Kman Productions...................................

blog lives on

wasn't going to erase the whole blog just yesterdays post, my sis 'd kill me
kman productions........

Dieting! Botox! fables

Who among us hasn't been hit with an ad of the latest celebrity diet? I am not one to read tabloid or gossip magazines but in my time I have seen numerous diets, all claiming to be the best. To clarify, I don't diet and I eat what I want when I want; if I can afford it. My wallet is what determines my diet and not my diet determining how much I can spend. As such I have resulted to eating toast and tea for most of my life, gotta tell bad jokes some day. This afternoon I was horrified by a group of teenage girls, couldn't be more than 13-14yrs. They were shopping for yoghurt that was least likely to cause cancer, even better they were reading the content label to gauge how much fat they were going to ingest. Short of banging my head against a pole, I silently evesdroped; yes I know I should mind my own business. If I did I wouldn't have anything to blog about, more like rant about.

The debate was rather heated and although I didn't agree with their attitude I was rather more taken a-back, they seemed to grasp what the content label was all about. I must also admit that I have never bothered to buy groceries based on the content label, the cheapest is what I would normally buy. I could be shaving valuable years off my life span thinking I am saving on groceries. Back to the girls, after the debate they all settled for different yoghurts and as they left they realised they would have to buy spoons. Nestle make Yogo I believe, chocolate yoghurt and they do provide spoons with their M&M snack pack. I am no genius but as far as dieting and parents are cocerned, too much sugar. After all the effort they settled for Yogo, just because they didn't want to spend 65cts to purchase plastic spoons. If they'd asked I'd have bought the damn spoons. My concern however was that at their age they are worried about gaining that extra pound/kilo and even worse they have completely been misinformed.

Nutritionist claim that certain types of food are bad for us and they may contain carcinogens, I don't doubt that either. Here is what I am having trouble with, will I watch every single atom I ingest and count every calorie I take. I then have to carry a calculator to know exactly how much exercise to do to burn that extra .5calorie that may have found it's way through the cup of tea of not so SKIM milk I had in the morning. Shouldn't kids be playing in the fields brusing their knees once in a while, falling off slides and swings (nothing major of course, I'd hope)? What has happened that kids are now 'calorimeters', it's not enough they are getting boob jobs? Now we have children modelling adult clothes, this way the adults will think they are fat or vertically challenged as some would put it and then try to lose more weight. I know there are slobs out there that are just fat, plain old fat lazy buggers but why is everyone trying to get a six-pack abdomen. I got 4 and I too am aiming for the perfect 6, magic six. However I don't diet, my lifestyle doesn't allow for dieting and if anything I could use all the energy I could use, let's not forget that greasy food too; I need that. People don't go nuts trying to look like Angelina Jolie; wow she's hot! Botox! Who in their right mind want shit injected in their face? I am not anti-dieting or comestic surgery but what is the limit people. Oh! I have a wrinkle only I can see "I need botox". My lips aren't as full as hers, "I need that injection". I wish I could spare that extra fat, just incase I fell ill and was hospitalised for a while. My body has so little fat that I am concerned that should I fall ill (very rare, thank God!), my body would consume muscle (that I got to spare).

Get over it, teenagers don't need dieting tips (unless they are obese) but these girls were more like stick anorexia figures, barbie dolls inclusive of braces of course. Get into the pitch and run, burn that extra joule from the yoghurt you consumed and for God's sake I don't need to be lectured about what is good for me and what is not. Kidneys and the liver isn't there for aesthetic purposes, use them but take care of them too. More on botox later, but first I make myself a meal some lettuce, carrots, breadcrumbs and a slice of fruit. Now look what you have me eating, hand me that phone am ordering pizza.

"Hello Dolmino? I'd like to order a large serving of your most greasy pizzas, garlic bread and a 2lt. diet coke". Gotta have something diet in our meals don't we?
Kman production..........................

Racism

What exactly is racism and who is a racist? If I say I prefer to be in the company of my own people would that make me a racist? If I prefer to date within my own race, would I be a racist? If I carry myself to be superior to others because of skin colour, isn't that what racism is all about? A black man talking about racism, that's all we've heard all our lives. What do white people really feel about people of other colours, let's face it your either black or white. Within the white community you might find some darker white people similar to the black people there are different tones too. I really don't get what the big deal with people of different colours and race. What would make me think I am superior/inferior to another person just because they are different from me? People claim it's the white man policy to keep the black man down in the gutter. For the record I am a black man, boy for that matter. I have faced what I'd call racism but nothing worth waging war against. I realise that there are rednecks out there just as there are black people who hate caucasians, some Christians hate Jews vice versa, some muslims hate christians vice versa etc. Nonesense, we all breathe the same air, we are born and we die.

Take a child from every race in the world and put them all in one environment, similar providence for all. Would one grow up to think they are better than the rest of the kids? Maybe or maybe they'd grow up treating each other as equals, why does race even feature in conversations. I am guilty of feeling superior in some aspects because of my race and yet there are times I have felt inferior, still because of my race. Life isn't perfect and trying to lead a perfect life would be a waste of what little time we have to live. What I do believe though, there will always be red necks out there. We could dwell on this matter all our lives or we could move on and lead our own lives to the fullest. I hate rednecks because they are always against my people, one life isn't worth more than another. I am tired or writing about racist SOBs and I hope this is the last I mention racism, that is until the next person brings up issues with my skin colour. I know I am black and I don't you to remind me, I have a mirror plus am not blind either. Cut the crap with race and sort out your shit, get of government aid before bringing clour into any conversation. People I can't reason with, red necks and terrorists, what's the difference?

Kman production

children, our future?

We all recall being told that we were the future of the world, if not it might explain why you didn't any dreams when growing up. I knew I wanted to be head of Micro-Soft Africa, whatever that is and I doubt it even exists. Then again reality has been very kind to me, taught me the basics of life; it sucks big time! Am also sure that you've encountered those screaming kids that throw tantrums whenever they need attention or want something purchased, could be candy, toy or even just for the hell of it irritate the adult/s. I find it hard and mostly pity the adult/s who is/are supervising such kids, I know I wasn't any better but mama's slippers were a good reminder to behave. I wasn't a saint and more than 1 occassion had to face the wrath of mama, actually more times than I care to remember. These days discipline has been taken to a higher level, time-out for naughty kids.

Why weren't the Psychologists fighting for us when we were facing the cane, wooden spoon and if your really unlucky, mama's slippers and bare hands? Am sure those advocating that corporal punishement isn't good were caned at some point in their life, they turned out ok; most of them. Some might be in rehab, jail and some might be dead, we know caning can be taken to extremes. I remember being caned such that I swore I'd kill my teachers, all of them. Today I thank them for having taken the initiative to find fault in me, even when I thought I'd been a 'good' boy. I'd still like to meet some of them in a dark alley, you gotta understand am twice as strong and more fit than most of them now. Surely wouldn't be a contest, then again that's just in my head and I hope I'd never hit an elder. That is unless they were begging for a good ass kicking and I'd have to oblige, you have to pick ones you can whop.

I work in supermarket and have seen my fair share of brats and little 'angels', more like devils agents if you asked me. They throw themselves to the ground demanding attention and the parents/gurdians are lost for action. They can't smack the kids because I've be drilled to report such incidences to the authorities. The brats themselves know their rights better than most adults and even though they can't spell yet, they have memorised the "Mum is Bashing Me" help-line; 1300 JAIL MUM. How discraceful that we are now expected to reason with infants, imagine talking to your dog about 'pooing' all over the new carpet. Before I get hate mail, I am not calling kids dogs although some behave like them. I simply express it, just like one would say barkng at a tree which might be more fruitful that giving a kid time-out. Who on this earth sat down and decided time-out was the answer to misbehaviour? I sure was born too early for my liking, I'd be enjoying time-out even when I skinned the neighbours kitten (yeah I thought of it, but I didn't do it).

Here is what I think, these kids aren't the future we hope they will be and we will have ourselves to blame 20-30 years from now. We are raising kids who don't appreciate the rules of life, you screw up, you pay dearly for it. Soon we will have advocates for time-out for hardcore criminals, talking about they not being responsible for their actions. The world as it is provides us with the opportunity to blame our shortcoming to our up-bringing. "Oh! I raped her because I wasn't cuddled by my mother, I stole because I wasn't provided for by daddy". I can't wait for the day a person will draw out litigation plans against their parents/gurdian. The lawsuit will propose that the 'child' is a criminal because she/he was not disciplined and only got time-out, even when they attempted to drown the neighbour dog.

I fear that should I ever be fortunate enough to have my family, my kids will not be exposed to the hardship and discipline that moulds us to be better citizens. Please understand I am holding out on the kids factor in hope that a president, Prime Minister or King somewhere will allow for caning and corporal punishement. Then I will embark on spreading the seed of my loins and raising these brats in a land I can exert revenge for my many years of discipline. Let's be honest part of the thrill of having kids is the fact that you get to mould them into honourable citizens, caning being a benefit you should be afforded. Whether you chose to use it should rest solely in your hands, not some obese beauracrat with no hope of ever being a parent.

Oh! And yes I have considered a vasectomy and as time passes and the more brats cross my path the more that surgery date draws neigh. Speaking of which what is the right age or appropriate age for marriage? I think people should be given the liberty to exploit the world, make mistakes before finally settling down. Maybe that might solve the high rate of divorce we face to today, but that is my opinion.

Kman Productions

Black people,dumb?

Why is it that in every country there are racists, and why does racism mostly affect black people? Are Caucasians ever discriminated against, growing up I held them with the highest regard, somewhat superior. Back in Primary school we had the pleasure of having two American girls visit our school, why did we stop our normal learning to accommodate them? Were trying to get to their level of superiority by changing our syllabus for 1-2 days? I was about 13 or maybe 14 and as we know that is when one seizes to worry about girls germs and even craves them; couldn't wait to brush against a girl. Oh good old days, now things are different can't trust anyone. Before this age I could sit face to face with a girl and not even care about my presentation, throw in a white girl and you have a confused teenager. 10 of the 14 boys am sure had the same experience I did, can't blame us just hormones acting up. I remember I borrowed mum's perfume and I guess I was kinda gayish on that day. African boy smellong of women perfume, crime of the highest (Africa needs to lose up). Hey I couldn't buy cologne after school, shops were closed and the best thing to smelling of boy sweat was smelling like mum. At least I didn't stink, plus they may have thought I was gay; we all know how women are comfy with gay men. I can never get that, men are dogs yet gay men get all the chicks. Should we convert?
Are white people superior to black people? Yes this is about races, I always felt inferior to Caucasians; until I landed in Australia. My view of Caucasians has changed and everyday I am very grateful I was granted the opportunity to move here.

African by birth I was exposed to different communities, all black; some of us were lighter than others while others were more like coal miners. This however didn't stop us from making friends across the cultures, got to accept people for who they are even when you don't agree with them. Back to my question are black people dumber than white people? I have 3 immediate uncles who are well educated and I also have un-schooled relatives. What side do I fall on, dumb or smart; compared to white people that is. Prof Andrew Fraser, a law lecturer believes that Australia should refuse entry to non-white immigrants, that mean you Asians as well; sorry Japan, no exceptions. Shock isn't quite what I experienced but utter hatred and anger for this gentleman, I didn't realise I could harbour such hatred for anyone.

Prof Fraser believes that the problems of the country (Australia) have been instigated by allowing non-white immigrants; they have different cultures thus differences arise. Now please understand that this is from a white man, a pig if you ask me and being black doesn't help me see things from his point of view. Crime never existed before black people or lets be fair, crime was very low before black people came here. Asians to have been accused of not wanting to integrate and take up Australian ways of living; what ways VB, birthing like rabbits and being on the dole? Any half arsed individual with an IQ of 70-75, average IQ for black people in sub-Saharan Africa as suggested by Prof Andrew Fraser knows this is total bullshit. Prof Fraser also believes that people (white) will not want to immigrate here once they realise that the country isn't majority white anymore but has a mixture of cultures. I try to keep this blog as PG as possible but what a prick, seriously IQ doesn't really have correlation with logical thinking. I would sincerely like to have a sit down with Prof Fraser and hear his side of the story, I believe everyone has a right to have an opinion though.

I wonder what he would do if a black student enrolled in one of his classes, would be out rightly for the neck and mark the term papers more strictly. The average IQ for Sub-Saharan Africa being 70-75 might explain why so many of our people are dying from AIDS even after millions if not billions have been spent trying to educate us. Are we that damn? I pose an open question to you all, do you think black people are inferior and dumber compared to white people? Maybe if we didn’t spend half our lifetime trying to fend off famine and droughts, we may have the time to hit the books and work on our IQs. I am honestly offended by this Son of a Bitch's opinion and think I will actually email him and request some data, proof that he is smarter than I am. Yeah he is a professor but am sure there is a fair bit I know that he doesn’t, what right does he have to claim am inferior to white people?

Does that mean all the ideas I have about eliminating power problems, water shortages may not be up to scratch; explains why am not performing well in class. I was predestined to be dumb and might even explain why there are only 2 black people in my faculty, now there is only one since Moses graduated; Me (should be I, b4 u call me dumb!), the only black man in the faculty of Informatics at the University of Wollongong. I should quit while am ahead, maybe that is why even when I study I don’t seem to understand much; am dumber. Prof Fraser please plead my case with the govt to send me back home, am only a drain to the country. Pompous prick, I say...........................
Kman Productions...................................

beach life

living 500m from the ocean is very expensive and apparently to die for, I think otherwise. At 24 I still haven't braced myself for swimming lessons, at this rate I might die a non-swimmer; no water sports for me, nothing beyond the bath tub that is. I have lived at my present place for the last 5 years and rarely have I ventured out for a walk by the sea/ocean whatever the difference is. Today was different, I was to take still shots for my friends something to make them envious of my neighbourhood. My sister so happens to be very good at taking my electronics and most of all pinching my AA batteries, what most of my stuff runs on. Today was no exception, she pinched my disc-man. YES! Disc-man I haven't upgraded to an ipood yet, shoot me for all I care! Immediately she arrived I took the batteries off and headed for the beach, to my delight the waves were pounding with vengeance. Great photo shoot I'd be having, so I thought. Test shot was perfect, my camera is at least 2 years old and digital shots aren't brilliant either but good hasn't failed me yet. Boy I need to upgrade my electronic equipment, start saving for a fresh start.

I got 3-4 shoots then when I got the most brilliant idea so far, the damn batteries die. How! Why! I will kill that young girl, she needs to keep her own! Those who think they know may be bare testament that these are very polite terms I've written here and what i trully uttered couldn't have been this polite. So the brilliant idea was writing a message on the sand and sending it out to a friend. I figured this was unique but am sure people have already done this, same with all the brilliant ingenious ideas I think I've had. Isn't is a bummer when you think you have a great idea only to see it already implemented and on the market? What is it they say "yeah life isn't fair"? Go figure. Tomorrow I go back the beach armed with a backpack full of batteries, only this time I hope they aren't duds from my lovely sister. Aren't they the best, huh?
kman Productions................

I can't, just can't do it

Ever heard a guy say, "am sorry and I apologise"? Yeah me neither, part of my culture and upbringing was never to appear weak or vulnerable;be tough and strong! Now I have never apologised in my life, not once have I had the decency to quote "am sorry". I know I have been wrong on almost everything but, men can't apologise;can they? 1995, school captain for that year and I believe I caused more damage than anyother captain I'd known. Before me, being a captain was synonymus with adhering to law and enforcing it. I didn't care, it was just a get out jail free card that I sure did make use of. What did the panel see in me when they voted for me? I knew I wasn't the best leader in the class, wasn't the smartest either.

Mid year, I got myself into a fight;my fault. Soccer being the only sport in my days, that was until we tried our hand at basketball and haven't looked back since. It was customary to have a sports afternoon on Thursday, the whole school of about 300 brats would make it to the fields. The fields couldn't support that many kids so the higher classes monopolised the games. I was the midfielder in the school team, yeah I was good. An ordinary Thursday and as usual we were in the field playing, the opponent's team was comprised of the best of the lower classes. We were the seniors so we played the rest of the school, no match there. Halfway through the game I am running with the ball cutting through the sides using my trademark long strides and smooth soft touch. Suddenly I am tackled and find myself ingesting grass, I wonder how cows do it; the taste eeew! The tackle wasn't legal and the logical thing was to call for a foul. I did more than that. After much cheering from my classmates, I took to the field fists clenched ready for Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

At 14 years of age I was invincible, nothing could break me and after watching that many Bruce Lee movies, I was him incarnate or so I thought. I confront the 'tackler', Brian and as I do so I can hear my mother's voice in my head, "I will cane you to kingdom come". However mama's voice was quenched by the crowd cheers of "fight, fight, fight". Fight Club right on Moi Academy grounds and I was Brad Pitt never loses. I threw the fast punch and landed square on Brians face, I could swear the earth's rotation stopped. Silence then the all to familiar Kungu crouch I'd mastered from my master Mr. Lee. Everyone is familiar with the crouch, the calling of the opponent with your right hand sticking out. Only thing I was missing then was a film crew; to record my ass being beaten. I lost so badly that the next day I contracted measles, I couldn't go to school for a week after the day. The following day in class not a single person in class could say anything, I was amongst the tough guys; obviously not tough enough. My basher was 4 classes behind me but to my defence was my age mate. He later went to become my sister's boyfriend for a while, that was until the following year I went to high school and returned meaner than ever.

A simple apology on my part could have avoided the fight, yes it was his fault but I could have walked away too. Now that I think about it, I probably lost because measles had been incubating for 2 weeks, isn't that the incubation period? I oughta request a rematch and this time apologise to avoid a further beating, I'd probably take him now though. A year boxing and stress can make a fighter out of any of us. Then again the boy might be packing more mean punches for me and I might not live to tell about the re-match

Kman productions................................

Give me a damn break

Thursday night Sydney time, I receive news that London was subject to terrorist attacks. My first instinct was to pray that Sydney isn't next, they got America, London and what remains is Sydney. The news last week was rather interesting, ASIO Australia's version of the MI5 and MI6 and CIA announced that there was significant evidence that there were plots to attack the nation. Since 911 all we have heard are Alqaeda’s plans to launch another major attack, White people are freaking out. Don't get me wrong, am scared too but I don't obsess over it. One lady at work has vowed never to cross the Sydney harbour bridge again. For those of you not familiar with Sydney, the bridge is one of 3 ways to get to Sydney; city. The alternatives are via Sydney ferries or spend another hour or so meandering through the bush. You have a higher chance of being attacked by a Kangaroo than being caught up in an attack at the bridge.
Back to my day on Friday, the topic for the day as would be expected was the London attacks. Please believe me; I do sympathize with the 'Londoners' who were victims. No one deserves to be terrorized regardless of race or religion. As my lunch break drew near I made it to the tea room, gossip convent. Here you will here more than your share of rumour and gossip about every employee and every relationship they are involved in. I personally don't care; reason being my life at work doesn't mix with my social life (or the lack of in my case). The MC on this day was Michelle, a recently separated woman prying for sympathy from everyone of us. I feel sorry that after 20+ the husband turns out to be an ass, which brings me to another point (marriages at young ages later blog though).
I knew that the first people to be vilified for these attacks would be the Muslim; one can only imagine what they face. I have to admit I have wondered why these thugs always claim to be Muslim; Islam is a faith of peace contrary to what many may want to believe. Michelle’s comments made my blood boil, I have heard silly comments even idiotic suggestion but what she said should be 'criminalized'. "Australia should close its doors to Middle Eastern people; they are bringing war to our country". Pure ignorance and arrogance of her behalf, I don't tolerate such comments, could be because I too am in a minority group. Australia's history is etched by bloodshed and terrorizing Aboriginal groups. For those with an understanding of the Australian culture you'd know that the original settlers here were convicts from Britain and its colonies; mainly British thugs. Anybody in this country except for the Aboriginal community immigrated and none can lay claim of the land (technically that it, but we know the Aborigines have no say in government). So lets say, bar the Middle Eastern people, whose next, African refugees because they are bringing poverty and 3rd world thinking? No words can explain what I felt; my thoughts were on grabbing a noose (not for myself) and hanging her.
How can one person be so dumb and lack the least of intellectual intelligence? I am for Muslims even though I am not a believer in their faith, aren’t they people too. I preach tolerance and getting rid of stereotyping, previous blog 'Where are you from' is testament to this. I have sworn not to ask people what their heritage is, we tend to categorize them with what little negative news we've heard about their country and/or culture. Grow up, bar Middle Eastern people; just because you've been born in Australia doesn't give you the birthright to be an ass. On that note Majority of Australians are very tolerant and accommodating and we shouldn’t stereotype them because of a few baboon minded individuals. Mosques are now being offered extra protection by the police and federal agents, is this what we have come to; terrorizing other citizens because we can’t get the real culprits? Shame on us, guess who wins then?
Kman productions..................................

blow me down, WMD

Your eyes meet and you can feel the sweat build up on your palm, by God you that your deodrant can mask the nervous sweat. As silly as it may sound I still suffer from sweaty palms and the ocassion dry mouth when am faced by an attractive woman. Don't get me wrong I aint no Saint Nicholas but a Halle Berry can cause unexpected raction in your body. Ever wonder I will always wear the best cologne even when am at work? Cause you never know, I am made to understand first impression can build or break you, and we all know it's almost impossible to recover from bad BO. My point today is that first impressions aren't all they are claimed to be, yeah she may look good but a few sentences later your ducking for the nearest oxygen tank.
Cigarette breath is one of the worst odours there are, forget anthrax and cyanide, I can take these anyday. Ever thought that your about to have a nice chat when it hits you, just when your about to roll out those fail-safe lines you may have picked from HITCH. My God, smokers breath is disturbingly foul, especially if they don't try to mask; eat grass or something. Chew on your shirt or even better chew on those damn matches, then again who uses match sticks anymore? I'd take poo breath anyday, kill me, hang me, boil me in oil but whatever you do don't open your mouth in my face. I am not like most people who can fake a smile and pretend nothing is wrong, I will frown in your face and put on a gas mask as you watch. If that doesn't work don't be offended if I turn my face away from you and take a few paces forward (away from this WMD, forget Iraq's dossier). Thank God for video phones, I don't have to smell tar in your breath again. We could still be friends but friends who video conference.
kman productions.......................

AIDS, Condoms and Religion

I have never been one to pull number out of my rear end; I know numbers and have a firm grasp of statistics. I was watching a BBC special focusing on the present state of Africa and the many problems facing our homeland. We all know Africa needs help and immediate change of attitude amongst the leaders both political and religious. May I suggest we kill all the present leaders and start a fresh, there is no hope for us if the current trend continues. We need radical change, the generation we have is dying on us and sooner than later we may not have enough of a future generation to move the continent. According to BBC Africa will need a further 130 years to cut the mortality of children by two thirds, 12o years to bring literacy to majority of the citizens.

Jesus! If these are the figures we are working with, what the #$@* are we doing about it? Why do we have to wait for the western world citizens to host concerts in Europe and the Americas to highlight our plight? I have always thought that there is nothing I can do; I am just but a mere engineering student. I got no money, no influence but I hurt when all I see about my home continent is children and women dying. What can I do? As soon as I can answer that question maybe Africa will be on it's way to recovery.

Oh we were colonized and that is our problem, get the %^#@ out of here, how long are we going to stick to that line. Let’s move on and get over it, so what? That was many years ago and lets face it, the colonizers had effective infrastructure when we got independence. It's only after Africans took control of their countries that poverty levels climbed, mortality sky rocketed and corruption crippled the economy. For goodness sake if your going to take a bribe, do your bloody job. Bribes are meant to motivate civil servants to hasten the process not block the legal process as has been the story for the last 4 decades. I don't condone corruption but the fact is, it's ingrained in many of us. We are in so much debt because some S.O.Bs have embezzled from the economy. Swiss accounts burst from interests accrued and there are no signs of relief. Aren't the huge payment politicians pocket enough, African politicians are better off than most western world politicians I'd say.

AIDS, 30+ million people have the virus and will die, forget a cure it's too late for these poor souls. They should make amends with their maker and plan for the next 2-5 years, who will care for their families once they depart? The Catholic Church has come out with steam that condoms shouldn't be advocated. Fair enough, but for a continent with millions dying condoms might slow the inevitable. People are dying yet these religious groups will not advocate for condoms to help avoid death. If people shun religion, should the religious groups shun them. My belief is that belief is to cater for the human need first then deal with the spiritual. What is the use of preaching to a hungry man, give the man some bread and maybe he might listen. For all that its worth please avoid sex until marriage (that is my up-bringing), but who are we kidding here? People are having sex in drones and will continue to have sex whether we like or not, THAT IS FACT! With this knowledge then, can't we advise them to use protection to minimize the risk of contracting diseases that could kill them? For God's sake, 30 million and counting! I doubt saving lives is a cardinal sin, let me answer to the maker after having saved or tried to save lives. I strongly believe that it's very irresponsible that a church can rule out contraception that may prevent the spread of a killer virus. I respect people’s religious belief but logic is also part of our God given gift. We want to promote responsibility amongst the youth but what about those who deem abstinence as a joke and impossible. Get them condoms don't burn condoms or deny access to these.

My university is weird, maybe too secular because condoms are given out free of charge. All you do is walk to the student services and to avoid the embarrassment they put them in an un-marked box for all. This might be pushing it I think but they are playing their part in try to help students avoid the scourge of STDs. So get off your ass and if you have to have sex outside marriage, be safe and use a condom. Bulletproof vests are not fail-safe but they have been known to save a few lives. I'd advise we stick to one partner and in marriage but as I mentioned previously, we are just plain naive if we expect marriage to be the only sex haven. Grab a packet of condoms the next time you pass by the supermarket or pharmacy and if you can't get some, I could mail you some from my campus. Only problem is that you might have to postpone the sexual act for a few days as you wait for the mail. If you’re unlucky the Kenyan postal staff might even keep them for themselves, I hope if they do they do use them. Let's talk about sex an old song that Africa doesn't seem to understand, understand the danger and take precaution. Prepare for the worst fellow country men, we are in for the long haul on this fight. I will give out condoms to anyone that asks, as I mentioned they are free on campus and what the hell if you see me pick a whole box of them. I know what am trying to do, if I could prevent one STD maybe help one person that's all we need. Then after that bring in my spiritual aspect as to what I might think is best, can't bash religion into people. Let's spread peace and love and most of all let's fight this plague that is killing us Africans. Help yourself Africa, live 8 concerts can't be hosted for you all the time. Get off your lazy ass and do something, educate someone about the scourge we face. For God's sake, educate yourselves people, EDUCATE yourself can't stress this enough.........

kman productions.............................................

Oops I tripped

Am on the bus waiting to go home when I see a lady drop a pile of sealed envelops, lucky for her she had a guy to help her pick them up. I have this scene played out so many times that I doubt most of the times the accidents are genuine. Are they just plots to meet that girl you've always wanted to meet? Replay to the lady carrying the pile of book from the library or that work hottie carrying work related papers. Now let's change the scene slightly, the carrier of the books or papers is now a guy, average looking nothing special at first sight. So he trips on a cable that runs from one cubicle to to another. Why there would be cables on the ground beats me but lets just play along. Even better he just looses balance and drops the paper work, I can almost guarantee that the guys in the firm or office will burst into laughter; I would.
If he is lucky maybe one of the girls may bend and lend a hand, that is if he is lucky. Generally the guy will coil in shame and hurriedly collect his stuff and rush for the nearest exit, phone in hand calling mother to calm him down. Nothing reassures us like mama, "Oh who is a big boy". So now lets say it's the hottie that dropped the paperwork, how much carnage do you think will be created as 'good samaritans' lend their services? Why is this the case, I'd love to really understand why we behave the way we do. I know I'd be the first one leaping over the 8 foot cubicle wall sprinting up the stair case, no time for the elevator. For who God forbid there are no guys in the 5 floors above me trying to help the poor dame. Get it, I'd sense paperwork being dropped 5 floors above me and I'd be there even before the last document hits the ground. 'Spidie' senses are homing on potential accidents, how pathetic is that scenario?